Don't say a word
by xredSunburstx
Summary: 15 different hospitals and 15 diagnoses, but she isn't saying a word. Is Charlie able to help her? Help her to get through all this pain and fight against the "unknown" evil? Will Joey survive? A different kind of Charlie/Joey.
1. Chapter 1

**Don't say a word**

**Fiction Rated:** M

**Authors Note**_:_ It's not a typical kind of Charlie/Joey Fanfiction. It's like my own story with the characters. I just thought about this possibility one night. Different circumstances, same Charlie/Joey?

Warning: I'm from Germany, so no guaranty here for correct grammar or translation. But I'll do my best.

And remember:

Post Reviews for me so I'll know if you want me to go on with the story!

Cheers mate! Hope you all like it.

**Chapter 1**

It was like every Thursday.

It was like every day in the week. No difference. It was around 5:30 a.m. when she opened her eyes first. Five minutes later she decided to swing her feet out of the bed and start her day.

She did this with a fast 30 Minutes morning run. Afterwards she took a shower every morning. For this she needed another 20 minutes, but only when she hurried. She liked it to take her time under the shower. She loved it to feel the warm water smashing on her braced shoulders. Beside her coffee it was the only thing that waked her up in the early hours. It was the only thing who kept her going on with the work she did. Others did something different to relax:

Listening to slow music, doing some kind of yoga like her colleague Watson or like her, listening to the water, feel the power and the affection the water just had on her. She stood there, waiting for something to happen. She didn't even know for what she was waiting. She didn't even know for WHOM. This big Question mark dug a big hole in her whole life, in her sad heart. Who would be able to relax her? To free her mind just for a few hours? Who would be able to touch her and never let her go? She dreamed every single night of the person who would be able to free HER, but she was never able to find it. To find Love, affection, tenderness, passion. But how should she when she was working almost 7 days in the week?

"Charlie!!! Open the door! I need to get ready for school!" A voice screamed and got her abruptly out of her thoughts.

"Ruby?! You are awake? What time it is?" She asked confused. Her sister always used to wake up around 7:45 a.m. to get early enough to school. But she couldn't be in the bathroom for almost 2 hours?

"It's half past seven. I have to get ready soon. Xavier planned to walk with me to school today!" She heard the excitement in her voice and smiled of this thought. How easily people are amazed by something simple like walking to school with the person they truly love and adore. Sadly she looked to the ground. Has she been able to be happy about something simple the past days, weeks, months, years? She knew the answer, she didn't need to reply. Instead she shook her head to banish all the depressing thoughts she had. Instead she apologised to Ruby

and left the bathroom to her sister, while she got to her room.

She was used to be the hard cop, who erased her feelings the whole day. Who kept her heart under her blue uniform and hide her expressions under her own created mask, she knew from all the old formal dances in the 18th century. The normal life.

After another 20 minutes she was ready with her uniform on and her coffee drunk, Ruby has already made for her. When she left the house and sat in her little blue car her phone ringed a long time, before she was ready to get caught by the normal stress she had to cope with every single day in her job. But today promised to be more diversified.

"Senior Constable Buckton." She replied with her mind far far away.

But as she heard her partner's voice she starts to slides nervously in her seat.

"Charlie, it's me Watson. I need you here at Summer Bay's psychiatric clinic as soon as possible."

"I'll hurry. Be there in around 10 minutes." Was the last thing she said before she start the engine and drove away with the radio on.

It's going to be a nice day, she thought ironical.

……………………………………………………………………………………

She hated hospitals. Every kind of hospital.

No matter if it means help for sick and hurt people.

For her it meant shock, pain, death and loneliness. Especially a clinic like this, means another tragic form of emptiness, loneliness, people usually call it craziness.

The same second she was rushing through the doors of this old looking building she was about leaving it again.

She hated the nurses, the doctors, the atmosphere, the screaming and at most she hated the green colour of the walls. Watson waited for her in front of the lift to get her to the second floor. She wasn't answering Charlie's question why she had to come here. Watson was just answering "The doctor is waiting."

The ring of the lift almost killed er and she felt panic rising. The blood streamed to fast through her veins and she just want to leave this scary place.

But at first she had to cope with everything.

First work, then everything else afterwards, she told herself.

She had to do her job well.

Because of her strength she was Senior Constable Charlie Buckton.

Because of her abilities she was a good cope. One of the best cops around here.

But now she was just happy to leave this small lift and step outside on the long corridor with the ugly green colour, again.

At the same moment Charlie wished she had never left the lift, because the screaming was now able to touch her ears, worse her mind.

"He is just right there." Watson said, walking straight to a small man with a beard, a big horn glass and an ugly old dark green coat he might has stolen from his grandpa and big shoes which look like he has stolen them in a circus.

To be honest everything around there look like a damn circus to her.

"Senior Constable Buckton?" He was asking, his voice loud and strong. Hands shaking, heavy. But she was strong enough to reply to his touch. "Doctor Richard Clark. Doctor at this institution. Nice to meet you here." "I'd like to say that too, but it's not really my pleasure to be here." She replied uncomfortable. He just laughed in amazement.

"I understand that. But they aren't crazy as they seem. Believe me, you get used to that."

"How can I help you?" She asked, hoping to be able to leave soon.

He swallowed hard and his Adam's apple jumped up and down within a second, and while she was watching his Adam's apple jump up and down twice he was handing her a file, which she opened quickly.

"Jesus Christ." Was all she was able to say after she saw the young men with all the blood in his face looking straight into the camera.

"He's a lucky guy, because he's still alive. He's an orderly from Sydney. She used a razor to hurt him, right before she hurt herself."

"Who is her?" She was only able to get this simple question out, still looking at the picture.

"A girl in her early twenties. She has been in institutions for almost ten years."

"Obsessive-compulsive behaviour, Post – traumatic symptoms, manic depression…" Charlie read out and stopped after the first diagnosis to let the man continue, from whom she only knew the first and last name.

"Right…15 different hospitals and 15 diagnoses. She saw her father killed when she was eight. She is very smart and usually avoids touching. We really don't know WHY she attacked the boy."

"Doctor… Clark, right? Okay. Doctor Clark. I really don't know what you want from me. I'm only a cop."

"Sure. I understand why you are wondering. But we need help. We are not able to come through the walls she has built the past years and we heard you are one of the best cops around here. You know how to threat difficult people, you do that every day and the most important fact is your mother."

"My… mother?" She asked with her voice low and a big lump in her throat. She never talks about her mom. Never. Especially not with strangers. But how does he know her mother. What? Why?

"You grew up with one of the best psychiatrist, and to be honest, we hope you learned something from her or, hopefully you maybe have it in your genes." He laughed loud while he was rushing to the gate, let them open by two cops, signing a paper before Charlie and Watson had to do the same and before they were rushing through another gate.

"Doctor Clark… wait… I… I don't think I can help you with that."

"Senior Constable… please… just go and spend 15 minutes with her. Do what you can do, try to ask her about the things that happened in Sydney with the poor guy. She's a young girl who never hurt a fly until last week. You and I are between her and a lifetime on hard medicine. Or worse. I really don't like to ask but: Do you want this?

She needs you. And if we don't make progress by Tuesday, they're gonna transfer her to another institution and chain her to a bed for the rest of her life. That's why she needs you and why we are trying everything we can to help her. 15 Minutes. Only 15 Minutes may save her life."

And with this she was standing in front of the big door which leads into the room of the unknown sick girl.

"Is she eating?" Charlie asked after looking through the small window, sawing a girl sitting on a bed with her back turned to the door and a salver with food on her side.

"She isn't eating, drinking, sleeping. A wonder she isn't conscious yet. She isn't speaking or letting anybody touch her." He answered honestly.

"What's with the heavy artillery?" Charlie asked heading to the tall men in green waiting in front of the door.

"It took about three people to get her off the poor fella up in Sydney."

"What is her name?"

"Collins. Joey Collins."

"Could you open the door, please?"

Seriously it's going to be a great day, Charlie thought to herself.

**AN:** You want me to go on? Tell me and I'll post the next chapter as soon as possible. I hope you like the first one!!


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: **Thank you very much for the reviews! I am happy you liked it. I hope the same here. Enjoy it and pleas don't forget a review. I'm always looking forward for some critics.

**Chapter 2**

When Charlie entered the room the first thing she recognized wasn't the girl on the bed.

It was the green colour, the green-blue tiling on the walls and the bad condition the room was in.

Would she live here, she wouldn't speak or eat either.

Her eyes rambled to the windows on the other side of the room, before she was able to look at the small messy bed and the girl who sat there

, with her dark hair, who hasn't even made a move since Charlie entered the room.

She was just sitting there with both of her hands on her knees and her eyes starring out of the window. Charlie took a step forward, recognizing her naked and hurt arms.

Her indicating blue skin scared her, but she was forced to win the fight. She was used to keep all her feelings behind. Instead of revealing her feelings she took another step forward, before she was standing in front of the girl.

"Hello." Was the only thing she was managed to say.

Her mouth was already dry.

"Joey, My name is Senior Constable Buckton. I'm a police officer. I heard you haven't eaten for days. I understand that. In this institution I wouldn't be able to eat either."

She grabbed the chair and took a seat. Her knees shaking as she looked into the face of the girl.

Beautiful, was her first thought.

Sadness, mercy was her first feeling.

Beautiful would her face be if she didn't look so terrified.

Her dark long hair falling into her face, almost hiding her dark brown eyes. Charlie wasn't sure if she has ever seen such dark eyes.

But She also recognized the scars in her face, the wounds on her arms and the effusions of blood on her neck. Her eyes seemed to look nowhere, but capturing everything in the room with only one gaze.

How could she, Charlie, be able to talk to this broken girl?

"I am here to help you. But you need to talk to me. What happened in Sydney?"

No reaction. She was just staring.

Minutes went by, after the first words left Charlie's mouth and she wasn't even sure what she was doing here at all.

Yeah, she was waiting. Just waiting.

"Do you want to talk to me about something?"

Nothing; like before.

Just her hands working suddenly.

Rising up.

Falling down.

Touching the empty space like she was going to play piano.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

No real reaction.

"I know you must have been terrified to do what you did to that guy. Are you frightened?" No answer.

"I saw you were angry. It was easy to see that on the photographs. I also know that you were in a lot of pain, because nobody would like to be here just for fun."

She waited another few minutes until she glanced on her watch. She already spent 20 minutes in there, but she wouldn't get any information's from this girl.

"Okay… Maybe we are continuing talking next week." Charlie said, rising up from her seat, her hands sweating, heading the old door.

Old and stinky like everything in the room.

"You don't know anything. You want what everyone wants. You don't know anything."

Charlie frozen as she heard the voice of the young girl.

Haven't Clark said she was never saying a word?

"You don't know anything. Nothing at all. Anything is nothing. Nothing is Anything. You don't know anything. Don't you?" Her voice clanged through the whole room, repeating in Charlie's head once again.

The young girl left her position, just to lay her back down on the bed, pushing the wall with her hands.

"What do I not know?" She tried to force the girl to talk. To say something else, except of the few sentences, the few words. But Joey was just hitting the wall with her palms again and again.

"What do I NOT know, Joey?"

Once again.

Again and Again.

"I'll never tell. I'll never tell. I'll never tell."

She was repeating with her soft voice, crawling in her bed, hitting the wall once again.

"Any of you. I'll never tell. Any of you. Any of you."

With that Charlie left the room, not able to forget her voice and the words she repeated in her room, now repeating in Charlie's head.

……………………………………………………………………………………..

"So what are we going to do now?" Watson asked.

Charlie absolutely knew what she wanted to do.

"What I AM going to do is: I'm leaving now and I'm never going to enter this room again."

"You must be kidding!" Doctor Clark said terrified.

"No, I'm not kidding. I am sure I can't help this girl. You need help from someone else, I don't kn…"

"She has spoken the first time. You know how long she spent her life in silence? For ages. Believe me or not and I really don't know why, but she trust you. Constable Buckton you need to do it. Not for us, not for yourself, just for the girl who spent her whole life in rooms like that. We are at our end. But you are standing at the beginning."

How she hated speeches like hat, but unfortunately they were working.

"A File…" she replied fretful.

"What?"

"Is there something more, a file, about her and the institutions she was?"

"Oh yes, sure." He looked pleased, because he knew what that means.

"Give it to me, I want to take it with me, and afterwards…" She said more to Watson then to Clark. "I'll take my day off."

"You don't know anything, don't you?"

The words captivated her mind. She wasn't able to forget her voice, her words and her face.

"Yes, I don't know anything. I don't know yet." She said to herself, grapping the file Clark handed her out, before leaving the clinic.

……………………………………………………………………………………

She slowly opened the file, looking at the picture of a young pale looking girl with dark hair, before she continue grabbing a pen to mark all the important information's.

_Eleven years old girl with psychotic disorder. _

_Father killed by unknown._

_Brother missed._

_Girl spent 5 days with the corpse._

Another picture. A picture she wasn't able to let go.

The patient, now already 18 years old, was starring with wetly eyes into the camera. Her eyes showing nothing then pain and sorrow. She shook herself to free her mind of Joeys face to go on with the file. To get all the information she needed to see her again and face the unknown.

_Traumatic Stress Syndrome_

_Schizophrenia_

_Manic – depressive_

_Suicidal_

"Those eyes. Those damn eyes." She said to herself, rubbing her temple with her thumbs. Why she can't forget the eyes of the younger girl?

Why she wasn't able to forget about that?

And why she had to set herself under such a pressure?

"No. One word and you would have been able to continue with your normal work."

"Charlie?" She frighten in her move as she heard the voice of the younger girl, rushing into the living room.

"Oh god Rubes! What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to ask you the same. School is over, our teacher is sick. But what are YOU doing here? You never take a day off. Everything's okay?"

"Yeah. No need to worry. I just have to work here on a difficult case."

"That's cool! What a case?" The younger girl asked, taking a seat beneath her sister.

"Rubes… you know I can't tell you…"

Charlie tried to read, but all the words weren't meant to be stuck in her mind. Instead she was repeating this one word again and again.

_Catatonic. Catatonic. Catatonic._

"Rubes, you know where we have Moms old book about all the different symptoms and diseases?" She asked, never letting her eyes from the file.

"Yeah, it's in my room. Why you ask?"

"I need it. Please get it for me. It's very important." She almost whispered, knowing something has to be wrong with the diagnosis.

………………………………………………………………………………

Charlie entered the room again. The second time this day. When she entered the room, the light was foreshadowing on the ground and Joey sat in front of the window. She was looking outside, like she was going to fly away like the bird if she just concentrates strong enough, like she was able to escape this nightmare.

"Joey, it's me again. I was here a few hours again."

No reaction like before, but now Charlie was more brave and confident to walk in front of the girl and take a seat.

"Joey, if you mind if I tool your pulse? It means I have to touch you, is that okay?" Even she got no reaction, she was reaching for Joeys arm, hoping her plan succeed. Slowly Charlie put the arm of the younger girl, raising it, not to take the pulse, just to let it fall down again like they do with puppets. And without any reaction Joey let her arm fall down, her eyes still watching the birds fly.

_I knew it…_

"Now, that's not supposed to happen, Joey. True catatonics have what's called a 'Waxy flexibility' of their limbs. It means they stay exactly where they're posed. You see?"

Charlie was used to that, no reaction, but she hoped Joey would react to her words. Would listen to her solution, to her conclusion.

"You are very good at what you are doing, Joey."

The first time the younger girl reacted with standing up, walking to the wall, to the dark pane Charlie knew from her office.

Joey was tapping.

"Is there the other doctor?" She said monotone.

"No, to my request he left me alone with you."

No reply. Instead she leant herself against the cold wall, putting her hands under her simple white shirt who fits her slender body perfectly.

"You wanna touch them?" She asked amused as she touched herself.

"Wha… What?" Charlie can't believe what she was seeing and hearing.

"I know you were looking." She answered.

"And I know what you are trying to do, Joey. You want to embarrass me. But that won't work." Charlie harrumphed. "But I'm not here to play any game with you. I am here to help you. Whatever happened to you, that don't matter now, Joey. The past won't affect your future, because I am here to help you."

"You don't know anything. You don't know anything. NOTHING!" She screamed desperately.

"Then tell me. Help me to understand."

"You don't know anything."

"Help me to understand. What happened?"

"I'll never tell one soul. I'll never tell one soul."

"Joey. What happened to your father? What happened to your brother? Where was your mom back then?"

Suddenly the younger girl stopped in her tracks. Just standing there, in front of Charlie. Tears welling up in her eyes.

"Constable Buckton?"

"Yes?"

"Get out." She suddenly said.

"No."

"I want you to leave."

"No, we are not finished, Joey. I won't leave."

"We are. Because I know what you are trying to do. You want to help them. But I'll never tell. I'll never go."

"Joey, I will ask you a question now. Did your past have anything to do with the terrible thing that happened to the man last week? Did everything here have to do with the terrible things that happened to you and your dad?" Joey was locating everything with her eyes but it seemed like she wasn't looking any where at all. Charlie had the feeling Joey was drifting away, when she didn't reply a long time, her eyes trying to catch something she could hold on, and tears running down her cheeks.

"No. No. No. No."

"A few hours ago I didn't know what you were talking about, but now I think it remains from your past."

"Get out." She managed to say once again, standing up, hitting the wall with her right palm. And she was repeating it again and again.

"Get out. Get out. Get out."

"Joey. Joey. I can help you. You just need to…"

"Get out. Get out. Get out!" Joey was already screaming, starting to throw her hands up in the air, taking her blanket in her fists, trying to disrupt the white cloth.

"GET OUT!" She screamed, before Charlie stood up and left the room terrified.

From outside she watched the small woman hitting against the walls before lying down on the bed, crying her eyes out.

Charlie just knew she can't let her remain alone in this ugly room. She knew she has to save her.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN**: Thank you all fort he lovely Reviews. You ab-solut-ely know how I Iove them! I hope I'm not disappointing you all with the following Chapters. Have fun and don't forget your job, after I have done mine! ;-)

**jsco81**: Hahaha… isn't every one of you thinking that! Maybe she will do it, or not? You will see in this Chapter!!

**pejubo**: Hach, dass ist ja klasse ein deutsches Review hier zu bekommen =) Freut mich wirklich, dass es dir gefällt! Es hat zwar viel Überwindung gekostet, aber ich teile gerne meine Gedanken mit anderen, also musste es einfach sein. Vielen Dank und ich hoffe du verfolgst die Geschichte weiter =) Have a nice day!

**gayornot:** Hahaaha, so sweet *big grin* I hope you will say that after the next few chapters. Thank you!!! And don't worry, I don't like them either so I'll finish this story, but if you don't mind and want me to go on it will take some time before I'm ending it ;-)

**huntress-fantasy:** Here we go ;-)

**funkyshaz57**: hahaha… you can't see how they are getting together and if they are getting together? Hmm… I think they will if I want them to be. What do you think? ;) Hope you like the next chapter too!

**Gunni11:** Thank you very much. I hope I'm not disappointing you at all!

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**Chapter 3**

Instead of walking back into the room she decided to head back home to take some time off even she already knew she wouldn't be able to rest her mind. Not after she has seen the young girl. It seemed like she just had affection on the older woman. She didn't know why, but it felt like Joey was able to capture her mind in only a few minutes. Her mind wasn't able to free itself from the girl and she had to deal with it the rest of the day.

The Girl wasn't really sick.

Was she?

And if she wasn't, why she put herself through all this?

"I need to know your secret to help you." Speaking to no one then herself was normal for her, she was used to it, but now it seemed to be so different. Everything was different in a way.

It has changed in a few hours and Charlie wasn't able to explain it to herself. Maybe it was just a feeling. Nothing more. She was tired and stressed. Nothing more.

But even her relaxing shower felt so different now.

Why the girl did had such a real affection on her?

Right after the shower she got back on her work, even she could watch TV with her younger sister. She wasn't able to relax now.

……………………………………………………………………………….

Charlie was starring at the watch in front of her after she has spent hours in front of the file, wondering how fast the time went by.

4 hours earlier she was sitting in the kitchen on the table, working through the stuff, hoping to find something she might be able to help Joey.

5 cups of coffee later she wasn't able to go to sleep. But that wasn't the only problem: She couldn't just wait for another day to continue with this case. Charlie decided to go back and see her again, because helping this poor girl was the only thing she wanted to do. The only thing she was able to think about. At first she wanted to find another cop to do her job, but now she was sure she would never give this case away in hundred years.

Grabbing her black jacket, a few articles she found earlier and her keys she left the house at 9 pm. Just an "I'll be back later" before she went away, deciding to try something. Maybe she would succeed with another strategy.

……………………………………………………………………………………

Again Charlie was entering the room, even she promised herself a few hours ago she wouldn't go in there ever again. But earlier didn't matter all she wanted to do was to help, to protect her from the "unknown" evil whatever, whoever it was or were.

"Hello Joey. It's me…"

She took a step forward to look in Joeys beautiful eyes, because these eyes seemed to be the only honest thing existing.

The windows to her broken soul.

"Maybe you should call me Charlie. That would be easier for both of us and fair enough for you. Don't you think so too?"

Charlie didn't mind that she wasn't speaking, she just needed a little bit more time to get Joey to say something. But now Charlie would stay. She wouldn't leave like she did before.

"I want to talk to you about something and now I won't rush out again.

I will stay until you've talked to me. You see, it's your choice. You talk to me, I promise I will leave again. You say nothing I will stay here as long as I have to. It's your decision. Your turn."

Charlie waited a few minutes before she took of her jacket and made herself comfortable in the simple plastic chair, even she didn't success.

"No uniform tonight? It's interesting to see you without your costume." Joey said with her voice low.

"Yes. I was already home when I decided to come back again. Clark told me you don't sleep. Neither I do."

Charlie said without thinking. But she was able to stop herself before she gave the girl too much information about herself.

_Charlie, remember, this isn't any kind of small- talk. You are not chatting with her to talk about your sleeping problems. You are here to get her to speak, you dumbass! Remember your aim, why you came here._

"So Joey… I need you to talk to me about what happened last week in Sydney."

"Why should I?"

The girl wasn't really cooperative but Charlie was pleased she was just talking. She was able to say complete and understandable sentences at all. Charlie would find something to get her to talk about the things she really needed her to talk about. But first Charlie needed Joey to trust her.

"Because it's necessary to talk to someone and I am the only one who is listening. You see, you don't have a choice. Because I can't help you without knowing what happened."

Joey sighed, avoiding looking at the cop in front of her.

Even she was dressed normal in her blue jeans and a black top, she was a cop.

Even Joey thought Charlie looked awesome tonight like she did in her uniform too, she was a cop.

Even Joey liked the face, the voice of the older woman, she was a cop and Joey was just a poor girl sitting like a captive in this room. She was just a poor girl, screaming for mercy and Charlie was the girl who gave it to her. Mercy and Trust. Even Joy hoped she would be able to resist, she felt her voice raising and her heart pounding. Trust. A word she never really thought about, because Trust wasn't a word she ever said, wasn't a feeling she ever had.

_Concentrate_, she told herself.

But how long would she be able to resist, if trust was the thing she always searched for?

"I was mad, therefore I attacked him. I am crazy, that's the reason why I am here. Isn't it enough?"

"To be honest, and I want to be honest with you as I want you to be honest with me, I don't believe you, Joey. I'm a cop for a reason. I was trained to know when people are lying and that's what you are doing now. You are lying. You are not crazy and you are not violent. You are absolutely not like the other patients here. You were playing a game all the time. But why? How was an eleven year old girl able to give up her life to live in institutions like that? How was an eleven year old girl smart enough to let the whole world believe she has gone insane?"

"I'm not pretending. I AM insane. I'm right here at the right place. Better watch out before I'm going to hurt you like the man back in Sydney!" She said out loud, warning, her fists strained, but her eyes were telling Charlie the truth.

"You won't…" She was whispering.

"You won't do anything like that ever again. Because you did it for a reason and you are already regretting the things you have done, isn't it right?" But then she raised her voice again to show Joey she already knew there was something else, a secret Joey has kept all her life. She didn't know what it was. But she was ready to found out and she would never give up.

"No. No I didn't do it for a reason! I did it because I'm like that! I'm dangerous!" She said convincing, but with tears welling up in her eyes.

"Joey… You are not and we both know that…"

The girl with the beautiful long hair laid herself down on the bed, her knees right under her chin, her arms around her legs, weeping like a fetus.

"Listen to me Joey. I am going to help you. I am here and I wouldn't be here so late when I could be home to relax and hang out with my sister and my friends. I am here, because I want to be here. I want to help you. Just let me in." Charlie was pleading.

"No. No. No way. Get out. Get out. Get out of my head. Go away!" The girl was pleading and screaming, but Charlie felt like she wasn't the one she talked to. She was fighting her memories and maybe that would be Charlie's only Chance to get through this big wall.

With her hand she grabbed inside her pocket and got the articles she took with her earlier. She knew with was a hard way to put her through her past again, but it might be her last chance to get the information she needed.

"_Young girl__ found beneath her death father after five days. Burglary supposed"_

Charlie read out loud, swallowing hard before continuing.

"_Family tragic: father death, brother missing, daughter in psychiatric clinic."_

Joey started to seesaw back and forward. Tears were streaming down her face.

"_Eleven year old girl. Victim or murder?"_

Charlie read out before looking at Joey again. She was sorry that she had to be the one who caused her all the painful memories. But she also knew it was necessary, because obviously she broke the wall. Slowly touching Joey's shoulder, who blenched under Charlie's touch, not able to look away from her, Charlie whispered:

"You haven't killed him…"

"I'm no murder. I'm no murder."

She whimpered, barely audible.

"I believe you, Joey. I never thought something else, but now you need to trust me. I ask you one question: What happened in the past?"

Joey closed her eyes and let Charlie whip one single tear away, waiting for Joey to say something.

"It was a hot Friday down in a small village in the near of Sydney in summer '94, eleven years ago…"

………………………………………………………………………………..

**AN:** That was finally Chapter 3. The next Chapter will reveal Joeys story.

Hope you will continue reading my story. I'll hurry up writing the next chapter and I'm looking forward ( as always) to your review. Thank you!


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: **Thank you so much for all the comments, it really means a lot to me. I hope you like this chapter, too. Have fun reading it. I'll really hurry up to write/post Chapter 5. I just have so many ideas to go on and I need to collect them first. What would you like to see? Maybe I get inspired *grin*. Maybe you are thinking the same I do. Looking forward for you reviews.

-Sun

……………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter 4**

Eleven years ago, Summer '94

She loved Fridays. Because on Friday morning she knew she has a whole weekend in front of her and that meant she would be able to work on the trawler with her dad and his best friend old Harry. As well she would be able to spend her time at the place she loves the most: on the sea.

She would be able to smell all the different kind of smells the ocean and the boat offered. But most important she would see the water and feel it right under her feet.

Right after school she walked with her best friend Stacy with the sweet blond hair home, talking about the latest book they have read or talking about the boys, even Joey wasn't really interested in them, she was good in pretending.

She guessed it was because she learned it at home early, when she still was a little girl:

Her Mom was pretending to come back after getting another bundle tomato at the supermarket with tears in her eyes, but she was never coming back at all.

Maybe she had the blood of a liar?

Maybe she should get a professional liar to earn money, she thought smiling. To be honest she only wanted to work on a trawler for the rest of her life like she did now.

Today her dad wasn't working, so she was only working together with Old Harry and the other guys. When they asked her where her dad was she just replied "He felt sick." Like every time.

The others already knew what really happened to her dad, without her telling the truth.

"Did he drink too much last night, huh? Isn't he reliable enough to take care of his children and his boat after his wife left him? Son of a bitch! With a drinking ass like him it's understandable why she left!" Candy said out loud angrily, but old Harry stopped him right away before he was able to say something else.

"Be quiet, fella! I won't say more! You know Joey is working with us, so you better keep your mouth shut, before I shut it. But that might hurt a lil'. It's not your business at all, so keep on going with your work, men, you get pay for it. Remember? The 'Son of a bitch' and the 'drinking ass' is paying you?!"

Joey was thankful for old Harry to stand up for her dad, when she wasn't able enough, when she knew what he thought about her dads' sickness.

She didn't like it either but she never mind. Because when he was drunk, he was just sitting in front of TV, sleeping or telling his daughter old story's about her long gone mom, what she really appreciate.

He wouldn't hurt her, never, like Brett did.

Brett, her older brother, was the only one who really scared her. When he was drinking he was uncontrollable, and unfortunately he was never drinking alone. That's why she had to deal with her aggressive brother and his sexist and bully friend, Robbo, who liked to touch her at places she didn't want to get touched by him.

Sometimes Brett was coming into her room, blaming her for anything and hitting her so hard she wasn't able to go to day for 3 days every time. Fortunately that didn't happen too much.

Her dad never recognized her bursted wounds or her tears. He was too lost in his own problems and she was good in pretending: The flu was her excuse. She was just a highly sensitive girl who got the flu very often.

Sickness, a word the whole family used to keep their all known "secrets".

After spending a few hours on the boat she decided to head home to her father before the sun was going down, even she could spend her whole night out there she didn't want her dad to worry.

When she came back she saw her dad in the position she left him this morning: sitting in front of the TV, drinking another beer and watching a football game.

"Hey Dad! I am back!" She said, standing in the doorway, waiting for any reaction. Did he know she was the whole day away or did he forget her like he did sometimes?

"Oh sweetheart, already back from school? How was it? Come on. Come over to your old dad." He said laughing, and to hear him laugh was too wonderful to feel disappointed because of his comment.

Her dad wasn't old, he was only 35 years, but his drinking changed his face, the neighbours thought he was already 45.

He wasn't bad looking, just tired and drunk with dark circle under his eyes and his face of full of lines.

But what Joey really appreciates were the beautiful eyes she had from him.

"Oh honey. You are as beautiful as your mom, you know that?"

"Yeah, Dad. You are telling me this every single day."

"But now I promise you something: One day, you will look like her! The same face, the same figure, the same beauty! I am so sure you will. Do you remember your mom?"

"Yes!" She replied excited, now repeating the things her Dad told her every time.

"Long dark hair with some sweet curls, beautiful brown eyes which seemed to sparkle green in the light. She was not very tall, but a beauty and…"

"…she had the most beautiful smile in the world!"

They said at the same time, laughing, knowing it was like a ritual for both of them, even it was confusing for Joey she talked about her mom like she was dead. And to be honest to herself, she didn't even know if she was it. If she was sick, or happy, lost or found, alive or dead. The only thing she remembered was her last expression, her last glance and her last smile. But Joey didn't even know the reason why her mom left. Did she maybe cause it?

"Dad… why did mom left us?" Joey was scared of ruining the moment and getting her Dad upset but it was something she needed to know, she asked herself every single day and night for almost 5 years now, also remembering it was the time Brett started to hit her.

She knew she would burst old wounds open, but she needed an answer so her wounds might be able to heal.

"I don't know, darling. I wish I would know."

"You really don't know?" A voice disturbed them and Joey was recognizing a drunken Brett in the doorway. Angry and with madness in his eyes, his fists strained.

"Oh yeah, you really don't know, Dad. Don't you? You can't be that blind. You can't be that sick. She left you for someone else, because you were not able to stop drinking neither for your wife nor for your children. She had an affair and that's your fault. It's your fault she left me here!" He screamed uncontrollable. Brett made his father rise up from his couch, his voice filled with anger.

"Don't you dare to say that." He frizzled, before he screamed the same words again.

"DON'T YOU DARE TO SAY THAT TO YOUR FATHER!"

"Oh you are thinking I am scarred of you, because you are raising your voice, wimp? You are a sick bastard. Did you enjoy ruining my childhood, my whole life?"

"I'm not the one who forced you to drink, son. I'm not the one who left school in the middle of the year without work either. I'm not the one who…"

"STOP Talking, bastard. It's my turn."

Now Joey was first seeing what Brett hold in his hand. Something which looked like the thing she has seen in all the movies her Dad watched.

"Brett…" Joey pleaded, hoping her soft voice could stop him, even she knew he cared a shit about her. Sometimes she asked herself if she really was his sister, because in her imagination brothers and sister acted different.

"Oh you are there too, little innocent girl. Bullshit, you are a little bitch, trying to side with our dad. You are both wrong, you are both have done wrong. It was your fault, yeah… yeah I should kill both of you right now, and maybe it would erase the things that happened…"

"Don't be stupid Brett. Give me the gun now and we'll forget about that. You are drunk and not able to think clear." His Dad slowly reached for the gun, trying to save the situation, but Brett wasn't here to let him ruin his life again. It was something he has dreamed of for ages: Vengeance. Maybe then his soul would be able to find peace.

"Oh, believe me. I have never been able to think as clear as now."

"Give me the gun, son." He took another step forward, ignoring the warning of Brett.

"I'll send you to fucking hell. Right where you belong!" Were his last words to his father right before he was pulling the trigger.

When the first bull entered his body, the pain rushed through his body and he wasn't able to say something. Only with a glance at his little daughter he tried to say everything: "I love you. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I never was able to be there for you."

When the second bull entered his body, he closed his eyes.

When the third bull entered his body, he was already lying on the ground, ready to die.

"Brett!" Joey wasn't the only one screaming. But she was the only one crying, recognizing the tall shadow behind Brett, taking the gun, cleaning it with this black shirt.

Robbo, she thought scarred.

"Stop Brett, he is dead. We should leave."

"Right… Right…" Brett assenting, pulling his fingers through his brown hair.

"But what is with…" Robbo pointed at Joey who stood there, grown stiff, looking at the body of her dead father.

This had to be a dream, a bad nightmare. Yes she was dreaming, stuck in an ugly nightmare.

No, she said to herself, realizing the evil was real. It was her brother.

"No need to worry, I'll do that."

And before Joey was able to escape he did what he has done every time, but now even harder.

His feet hitting her ribs, breaking them.

His fists reaching for her face, hit her head until all the blood was streaming down.

His feet meeting her body again and again while he was screaming:

"_Don't – say – a – word._

"

And with each word he was hitting her even harder, Robbo needed to stop him, even he liked it.

"Don't kill her, men. She is our alibi."

"Yeah… Right…" He answered, breathing hard, before pulling her ear to his mouth as grabbing her hair.

"Don't you dare to say a word. I am watching you little sister and that's a promise. You tell one soul, I'll catch you and hit you so hard you will die. You saw what I did to dad. If you tell something what happened you will die too, it will just take a few days and hurt like hell. Right?"

She wasn't able to say something, due to the amount of blood collecting in her small mouth.

"RIGHT?" He was screaming, forcing her to nod and so she did.

"Come on, let's go Brett. Take some money, leave the gun here, and break a window to let it look like a burglary. Hurry up, men."

"_Don't – say – a – word."_

Was the last thing she heard from her brother and before her world was turning black, feeling like she would drown in her own blood.

After she opened her eyes the first time days after what happened with her dad she found herself in a hospital bed with all the strangers around her asking her all kind of questions, she knew what she was going to do.

Although she knew she would never see the trawler, her friends, old Harry or her school again, but she knew after the past days she wouldn't be able to live again. But although she wasn't able to kill herself either, she decided to put herself behind safe walls.

She was alone and so she had to take care of her own, she told herself.

_You can't trust anybody, Joey._

And she found a place where she was able to be safe.

To be saved from the known evil.

And she knew what she was going to do:

_Pretending._


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: **Thank you all for your reviews it's all I can say now, but I hope you know how happy I am. Sorry about the short chapter but mom is taking me to the city tomorrow, so I don't know if I have time to uploa another chapter and I don't want you to wait too long. Better then nothing, huh? ;-) and I'll go on as fast as I can, Tomorrow or in 2 days. Have fun!

**Chapter 5**

Joey was still crying, uncontrollable sobbing, almost screaming if her voice would be able to work.

But nothing worked.

She wasn't working.

She was only drowning in her sorrow, in the memories she tried to forget until the cop, Charlie, appeared. On the one hand she never wanted to let her go, she wanted Charlie to stay and take care of her. On the other hand she asked herself why she can't just take the meds like before and get caught inside of these walls she trusted in so many years.

If she would stay, nothing could happen.

Honestly she thought about dying soon, hoping her body wouldn't be able to survive because of the condition she was in. All she wanted to do was dying, not able to kill herself, to scared to leave this room and get caught by her brother. Maybe her want to survive was just too strong?

All she wanted was to live a normal life, seeing the ocean again, running down the beach and feeling the sand under her feet, instead of living in the desert. Living in this rooms, remembered of the desert, she spend most of her time alone, living on her own, trying to leave everything behind, trying to erase all of her memories.

I live like Jesus did, Joey thought smiling ironical.

Spending 40 days in the desert, praying, fasting.

She did the same, with differences: She spent 11 years in the desert, praying to someone to save her, but not praying to god.

God has left her so many times when she was praying to him, pleading, so she left him too.

Faith is something for wimps, she told herself, wanting to be like them.

She wished she could have faith and strength to believe and to hope.

But she knew she was lost. When she was ready to take a step forwards, hurting someone to be able to stay she knew she was going to lose everything she was once. She was going to lose the fight.

But then Charlie appeared and all she could do was hoping and breathing again, even she told herself to resist, her hope was rising in slow motion.

And suddenly there was a light, helping her to see in the dark.

_Charlie… All I know is her name…_

But the light seemed to turn away, again.

Joey needed to hold it, so she grabbed for it with both her hands.

…………………………………………………………………………………..

Charlie listened to Joey's story, trying to be strong and concentrate on the things she heard. She tried to stay calm and she tried not to cry. But it was hard to tell herself not to do when her heart wasn't only screaming: Mercy but also Vengeance, Angriness, Hate and all she wanted to do was going back and protect the little girl Joey was eleven years ago.

Looking down at the girl Joey was now, 22 years old, broken and terrified, Charlie felt her heart pounding hard against her chest.

Charlie missed her chance to help, but she would do it now, she told herself.

The only problem was Joey herself, who kept fighting against Charlie's help. Maybe she was too scared to trust again, too used to be alone to let the older woman in.

It was 1 a.m. when Charlie looked at her watch. She had spend over 3 hours here listening to Joeys story, she forget to all Ruby, and maybe it would better to leave, before Rubes or her good friend Leah, with whom she lived together, starting to worry. Therefore she reached for her jacket ready to leave, when she stopped her tracks by hearing a low voice speaking, pleading behind her.

"Please don't go. Don't leave me alone. Don't go. Please. Please. Please…" Joey was repeating over and over again, looking straight into Charlie's eyes, reaching for her hand, taking it as Charlie walked slowly back to the bed and set down on the chair again.

"I will stay here, Joey. Don't worry. I will not leave." She replied, trying to smile while Joey nodded, still holding her hand, as she closed her eyes.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

"What are we going to do now?" Charlie asked the girl who was sitting at her favourite place with the best view, only the grids disturbing the 'peace', right on the bright window board.

Charlie was waiting for a reply, but Joey said nothing like before, lost in her thoughts.

"Joey?" Charlie tried it once again, heading for the girl who was still a patient, even she hadn't to be.

"I want you to leave."

Charlie suddenly stopped, couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"What?"

"You heard what I said. Leave."

"But…"

"No… I want you to leave. Not just now, not just today. Forever. So you heard what I said."

"No, Joey. I will stay here with you until we found a solution."

"Get out." She said with more strength, now standing right in front of Charlie.

"No, I won't get out alone. You will come with me, Joey. You are innocent."

"Don't say something like that."

"You shouldn't be here." Charlie was still talking. She couldn't leave, not after what she heard last night.

"Please, get out…"

"After what you told me, Joey, I can't let you stay here."

"I haven' told you anything."

Joey replied, her eyes filled with tear, her voice rumbling.

"You will have to press charge against your brother and his friends…"

Joey didn't know what she was doing, but the voices in her head which told her to shut up, which spoke out warnings and death wishes were going to be to loud to take. And With Charlie talking, they started to get louder. All she could try to stop them was stopping Charlie to talk with her fists, rushing down on Charlie's body, bringing Charlie down on her knees.

"Jo… Joey… Stop..." She tried to speak, but wasn't able to raise her voice.

Charlie felt like her world would turn black soon, not able to hit Joey back, she wasn't able to recognize what happened around her, just listening to all the strange voices and Joey's screaming.

After she was able to open her eyes again, she saw what was happening.

2 men rushing in the room, pushing Joey hard against the next wall and a woman coming with something in her hand which looked like a shot and Doctor Clark already on her side.

"Oh my god, is everything okay Senior Constable?"

"Y… Yeah…" Charlie mumbled still feeling a little dizzy, but standing up, pulling the woman with the shot away, before she was able to reach Joey.

"No… no! She doesn't need that! Everything is fine. Go! Everyone is going to leave now. NOW! It's an order!"

Charlie said out loud, wiping off the blood from the corner of her mouth, watching Joey who hugged herself tight.

"But Senior Constable…?" Clark tried to say something, but Charlie just cut him off.

"Go out. Everyone, leave us alone!!"

Charlie was waiting to get near Joey until they left, trying to replace Joeys arms with her own, when the younger girl still was too enraged.

"Go…. Away… Go… Away…"

Joey whispered, recognizing how tired she was. Her fists hardly hitting Charlie's shoulder a few times before she was giving in, placing her head on the place she hit Charlie before.

"Don't say a word. Don't say a word." Joey replied again and again, still holding onto Charlie, going down on her knees, knowing Charlie wouldn't let her go ever again.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

"What was that?" Doctor Clark seemed terrified, confused and his voice filled with anger. When Charlie didn't reply, he was continuing his speech. "I didn't get you here to cause another incident with the patient or to disturb our work. I didn't get you here to hug her all the time while I needed to do my work! The patient…"

"Joey…" Charlie corrected him. "It's not just me causing another incident, disturbing you or comforting her. It's so much more, Doctor. And even I respect you, you don't know anything."

"What do you mean?"

"I guess I need to talk to you…"


	6. Chapter 6

**Gunni11: **Glad you like it!!

**jsco81:** I know what you mean. It's also hard to write. But maybe things are getting better soon??

** 1818**: Thank you very much! I always like different kind of stories so I thought i have to do something like that too. I never thought the people would like to read it that much! Thank you =)

** :** we will see, we will se… take a seat and enjoy ;-)

** ashikinz:** thank you, it was pretty long but i haven't found what I searched. But well I had time in the train to write a little bit so it was pretty cool at all. Thank you, great you like it!!

Thank you all and have fun! And please leave a note to let me know what you are thinking. You know I'm always trying to hurry up but it's a little bit hard to continue now… I have lot ideas but I need to sort things out. But don't worry, I'll go on, I promise ;-)

…………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter 6**

„You mean she isn't really sick and she was pretending everything, because she was and is scarred of her brother who killed their father eleven years ago? And she attacked the men to be able to stay here after they wanted to let her go?"

Charlie nodded.

"You know what that means? Not just that a killer is still out there.

No, incredible is that the patient, who isn't really a patient, was able to put 15 hospitals inside with pretending to be sick. Your little friend is talented! That'll be a real scandal!" Charlie was smiling at the idea calling Joey a friend, but getting serious again as she heard what Clark just said.

"No! We have to take it top secret, doctor. It'll stay behind these walls, because if Joey is right, a murder, her own brother, is just waiting for any publicity. But we have to find him without any publicity, you understand?"

"You are right. But what are we going to do now?"

"Well, Doctor Clark, to be honest. I want to get her out of her. It's not necessary for her to stay and I am a cop, I will be able to protect her." Charlie said convincing knowing she wouldn't accept a no.

"It's not that easy, Senior Constable. We first need her to talk to some other doctors to be sure she isn't dangerous or she doesn't belong here."

"Okay… I will talk to her about that. When are we able to get it behind us?" Charlie asked, hoping Joey wouldn't have to spend another night in this ugly room.

"Today or Tomorrow…" He replied already lost in his thoughts.

"I'd appreciate that, doctor." Charlie said before entering Joey's room again.

……………………………………………………………………………………

Joey was sitting on the window board again, fretting her finger nails nervously.

"Hey Joey."

Even she knew Joey wasn't violent or would hurt her again, she had to confess she was a little bit scared.

Scared of losing the line to Joey again she had built up the last few hours.

Joey was ignoring her obviously, ashamed of looking the older woman in the eyes again. To ashamed of what she has done after what Charlie tried to do for her.

"I'm sorry…" She whispered barely audible, still glancing out of the window.

"What?"

"I'm so sorry, Charlie…" She said out louder, so Charlie was able to hear it.

"Don't worry. I feel fine." She replied, forcing Joey to look up with her finger.

"You see. Nothing happened."

"But your lips…" Raising her finger up to touch the corner of Charlie's mouth, tears starting to well up again. It wasn't something she liked to do, to be honest she can't really remembering to do something like that,. She was forced by her hurting soul, by the crazy voices in her head, she needed to stop it as fast as she could before she was really going insane.

She did it, because Charlie was her way to freedom and maybe the way to start a new life.

But also the way to new rising fear and a live with running away from the shadow following her, maybe capturing her someday, killing her like her dad.

As much as she needed a new life, as much as she wanted it, it scared her too much to do it.

"Don't worry. Everything's okay with me. But now we have to help you."

"Why?" Joey asked suddenly. "If you really want to help, then you should leave me here. You know, I did it for eleven years, I will be able to survive another eleven years if I have to. It's too dangerous to help me."

Charlie was understanding how Joey was feeling, but she also knew how badly Joey wanted to get out, by her looking out of the window.

"Tell me something from the sea." Charlie said out loud, getting the small Chair in front of Joey, sitting down, and waiting intentionally for Joey to speak.

"What do you want to know?" She seemed changed.

"Everything…" Charlie answered smiling, enjoying be able to listening to her voice.

"Oh… there's too much! When you are sitting at the beach, watching the water raise and fall you are able to forget the whole world. It seems to be so calmly and chilled you get it too. Working on a trawler you can be out there, seeing nothing else except of the water and the sky! It's fantastic! Sometimes when we had a break and the other one were working I was lying down, watching the clouds, sleeping, enjoying the smell of the water and the fishes. There's nothing better in the world!"

"So, tell me, why are you staying here, Joey? You will be able to see that soon again." Charlie was rising up from her chair, standing right behind Joey.

"You can see the bird flying there?"

Joey was nodding, following the beautiful bird sliding pride through the sky.

"You will be the bird. In a few days you will be like this bird. Okay, you might not be able to fly as high as him, but I swear you will feel like you are flying when you are taking your first step on a boat after eleven years apart from the place you love the most. You won't regret it Joey, I promise. You were here long enough. Now it's time to start a new life and I mean a real life with meeting friends, hanging out, having fun, working on a trawler, for example…" Charlie forcing Joey to smile shy.

"The problem is… I have no friends, no education, no money and Brett is still out there… I have lost eleven years and I am… I am…" Joey cut off, looking down, ashamed she was scared of a shadow.

"I know, it's okay. But trust me, we will find him and get him into prison and until then I will be there, you don't have to worry."

Joey nodded, thankful, but still having doubts, memories rushing through her mind, the voices getting louder again.

"_Don't you dare to say a word. I am watching you little sister and that's a promise. You tell one soul, I'll catch you and hit you so hard you will die. You saw what I did to dad. If you tell something what happened you will die too, it will just take a few days and hurt like hell. Right?"_

As she closed her eyes, Charlie was there, touching her shoulder to comfort her, but recognizing how fast Joey was able to get scared by every touch she wasn't awaiting.

_One step after the other, Charlie. You can't act that normal around her. It was a big headway she opened up so quickly to you._

"It's okay… I am just… too nervous?! In the past few years I never thought about seeing the ocean again and now it feels so real… They have a beach here, huh?" Charlie laughed seeing Joey's eyes sparkling and with her mouth smiling, recognizing how beautiful her smile was, she wasn't able to reply, too lost in the moment.

It was weird seeing this girl smile, but it felt too good to be the one she joined it with.

Charlie was the one, who broke the walls,

she was the one who saw her smiling.

Joey was the one who felt pleased.

"Yes we have everything around here, even it's a small town. But before I am able to show you everything you need to talk to Clark and a few other doctors, okay? As long as you are doing this I will find something for you to stay and then I come back later again."

Joey's shy smile was fading, when she heard Charlie saying she would leave.

It was crazy, she never get addicted so fast to a person.

It was crazy how fast she was able to trust the older woman, when she thought she would never be able to trust anybody again.

It was hard for a girl like her, who lived in her own world so long, to trust, to hope, to smile, to feel something different then pain.

But now everything seemed to be easier.

Maybe it was one of those dreams which show you all you need, but you never get?

Would she wake up, lying in her bed, recognizing Charlie was just a part of her fantasy she didn't know how she would be able to continue.

"You'll leave?"

"Yes. But only one or two hours."

"But I… I don't want to talk to the doctors without you…"

Charlie found herself smiling, feeling good hearing Joey really needed her.

"Well then I guess I will find Doctor Clark now asking him when we are ready to talk to them and get you. Afterwards I will be able to find housing for you too. Is that okay for you?"

Joey nodded shyly, but pleased she doesn't need to get alone through this, smiling, the first time for almost eleven years.

When Charlie left her room, she felt her lips still shaking a little bit, where Joey touched her.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

"Are you ready?" Charlie asked smiling, looking at Joey intentionally.

"Yes… Well… I think I am…"

"Hey… don't worry. I promise you everything is going to be fine. I am there with you. And now come on."

The younger girl nodded, following Charlie and Doctor Clark through the door, walking through the corridors, entering a room with 2 other doctors already waiting.

She felt like in an inquisition as she was taking a seat in front of the older women and the two doctors looking straight at her.

She was scarred of what might happen next.

She was scarred they won't believe her.

She was scarred it was too late to be free.

And with all the feelings rushing down on her she never let her eyes from Charlie who was standing behind the doctors leaning at the wall.

But as Charlie recognized the fear in Joey's eyes she knew what she was going to do.

Joey froze when she saw Charlie coming nearer, sitting down beneath her, feeling free when she felt something else then fear.

And suddenly she felt another hand around her own, lying in her lap, squeezing it tight, and feeling Charlie's eyes on her, Joey felt strong enough, managing to say something at all.

"Everything started eleven years ago…"


	7. Chapter 7

**jsco81:** Maybe not down to the beach in this chapter but we are going to see hat is happening next ;-)

**ashikinz & 1818 :** Thank you both very much!!! To be honest it's damn difficult to write Joey's feelings down at I felt like it's getting worse with each chapter. But I am doing my best to keep up the "good" work. I hope you'll like this chapter too! And 1818, ha-ha, I am really sorry. Charlie doesn't really seem to be a cop here, huh? But don't worry, she will be one again!

**funkyshaz57:** hehe, thank you. Or yeah it is good to write to let her out of the shells, too ;-) Butt he question is: Will she ever be able to behave normal? Will Brett coming back or was he really just an imagination of her and she is really sick, pretending not to be, to get out there? Or is Brett anyway trying to get to her? What will Watson& Charlie find out? Will Joey act on the feelings she has? Will Charlie? Too much questions here. ;-)

Thank you all for your lovely Reviews, they keep my work up so fast =D Very well done readers. Thanks to all of you. I hope you still like reading my storys and remember I love my reviews…

I love, love, love them! Good or Bad, maybe ideas how to let the story go on or something you want to discuss about. Let me know!

And please, if my English is too bad, let me know if there are any bad mistakes or if my story isn't able to be read. I am really scarred of that.

Have fun reading the next Chapter.

-Sun

…………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter 7**

Charlie had a big smile on her face, looking at Joey who looked unbelievable excited too.

It was really unbelievable how fast things happened.

Over 48 hours ago she first saw the younger girl, completely living in her own world.

After a few hours spending with her Charlie was able to get her out of her thoughts, bringing her back into real life.

24 hours ago she almost lost the connection, trying to save the situation, able to do so.

7 hours ago she was holding Joeys hand through their meeting with all their doctors to convince them Joey wasn't like the other patients.

4 hours ago she was talking to Rubes and Leah to tell them about her plans with Joey moving in to be able to protect her all the time. While their conversation she tried to convince herself she did all those things for Joey because she was a good cop, not because she can't stop thinking about the younger girl, or she was longing for another touch of her fingers on her lips ,she wasn't really able to forget about.

3 hours ago she was driving back to the institution, getting Joey out of there, talking to her and watching every step she took.

2 hours ago Charlie showed Joey her new place to stay, and Joe hugged her the first time.

1 hour ago Rubes and Leah were coming back from a little shopping trip with VJ. It was no problem for them to let Joey in their heart, Charlie new it was because of her shy smile and her sweet and tender type.

And now, Joey was standing in Charlie's room right in the middle looking around.

"You have a lovely room, Charlie. You are sure I can sleep here? I mean… you don't have to sleep at Ruby's. I can take the couch…?" Charlie was a little bit disappointed, catching herself at hoping Joey would want her to share a bed with her.

_Come on, Charlie, What is going on here? She is a girl who needs you, nothing else… _

"No, it's really okay for me."

"Seriously?"

"Joey, don't worry. I am totally honest with you. I'll sleep with Rubes. Be happy, it's very a comfortable bed, better then the one in the institution." Charlie said joking.

"Thank you, Charlie. Thank you for everything."

"Never mind." A little pause originated.

"Charlie?"

"Huh?"

"Hope you know how thankful I am, but I think I need some time for myself to think about what happened. I still can't believe I'm here."

"Sure, sure. No problem. I will be in the living room if you need me!" Charlie answered smiling, but feeling a little bit underwhelmed as she followed Joeys request. Too much she hoped Joey would talk to her about her feelings rather then being alone.

But she did what Joey wanted her to do and left her in the big room.

Joey couldn't believe it was really happening.

All this was finally happening to her after she dreamed years about being free again.

Charlie was happening to her.

As she was lying down on the bed she smiled, but telling herself she has to control herself.

Charlie was charming, lovely, adorable, comforting, and more then beautiful, she was stunning and Joey realized not the first time she was attracted to a woman. But she was too thankful to act on her attraction. She couldn't do that and embarrass Charlie, who was so supportive the last days.

_Charlie_, she thought closing her eyes, remembering how soft her skin felt when she touched her just a few seconds.

How would it be if they touched much more, longer?

When she was just beginning to fade away she suddenly opened her eyes as she heard something battering against the windows.

_It has been so long, _Joey thought grinning, rising up from the bed and walking away.

…………………………………………………………………………………

"Hey, Joey, Leah made dinner!" Charlie said knocking on the door, waiting for any reaction. But as she heard nothing she opened the door quickly just to find nothing in the room.

"Shit!" She said out loud, rushing through the whole flat, searching for Joey. She couldn't just lose her in her own flat, when she was sitting only 5 meters away from the girl she needed to protect. "Joey? Joey!" She was screaming, waiting for a sign, before rushing to her phone calling Watson or someone else to tell them Joey was missing. Just before she got her phone she heard someone laughing outside. Following the voice, she didn't believe what she was seeing.

Joey was sitting on the small wooden bank in front of the house, laughing, rising her hands to feel the rain falling down on her body, her hair already wet.

Charlie wasn't able to be angry, like she thought she would be, because Joey just left of without saying a word, almost forcing Charlie to get embarrassed in front of the whole office.

But now she was just smiling, thinking how sweet Joey was.

"Joey, what are you doing here? It's raining…"

Charlie said, letting Joey know she was there.

"I know… Isn't it beautiful?"

"Well… I haven't thought about calling the rain beautiful yet. It's necessary, yes, but it…"

"It's wonderful, Charlie… It's fantastic." Joey interrupted her, before glancing at her impressed.

"Come here, Charlie. Come right beneath me. I am sure you will look beautiful in the rain."

The young girl wasn't even sure why she said that, but she didn't regret it, too overwhelmed with the feeling of the cold rain on her skin and feeling Charlie's body abruptly so close to hers.

"I know the rain isn't something beautiful to you. The rain is something disturbing when you planned to do something outside for example playing football and what are you going to do then? You wish the rain away. The rain isn't something special, it's normal, but for me it is. Every little drop is special and meant to be. It is a wonder.

Charlie, The sky is crying for me tonight and every cold and fresh drop on my skin means a new beginning, and all I can do is smiling, trying to forget what happened in the past, because now you are there, and I thank god for that. I stopped believing in him, but now I know, he sent me you. He sent an angel.

Charlie, you are my angle…" Joey said out loud the things that were never meant to be reaching Charlie's ears, but now she can't do something else then telling her.

She can't do something else then touching her wet skin with her wet fingers, touching her cheek, comforting it by stroking it a few times before letting go, just to replace her hand with her lips.

She kissed Charlie right on her right cheek, while her hand comforted the left side now, wishing she would never has to let her go.

This simple touch sent jolts through both of the women's body at the same time, forcing a swarm of butterflies to fly.

But both were denying this beautiful feeling at the same time, still knowing It was there.

"Dinner is ready…" Charlie managed to say, rambling, after Joey let her go.

"Good, thank you." Joey replied, still smiling, they both stood up at the same time.

"You know what Charlie?" She said walking right behind Charlie, almost passing the older woman.

"I feel like I'm newborn. The first time I'm hungry. Thanks to you." With A grin as fat as half Summer Bay Joey passed a confusing and happy Charlie.

"_Charlie, you are my angle…"_

……………………………………………………………………………………

It took Charlie a long time to go off to sleep, after she said goodnight to Joey. She needed the time to think about how drastically her life has changed with Watson calling her, and now 3 days late she found someone who really needed her, and it was a good feeling to be needed. She was needed in her work every day, but now she really had the want and the necessity to protect Joey and all she wanted and would try was erasing the pain, no matter how long it would take.

She was sleeping beneath Ruby, who started to snoring, due to the fact she gave her bed to Joey, who seemed to sleep sound and save, like Charlie should do to. Tomorrow would be a hard day. She had to talk to Watson and start with searching for Brett, but now she needed the sleep.

Closing her eyes, thinking of the younger girl, she only took a slow walk to dreamland.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

Screaming's. Screaming's everywhere. Screaming's.

But it wasn't a dream, it was too real.

Hearing Joeys Voice and another one, calling her name, the cop in her was fast awake, running in her white tank top and here boxers to the direction the screaming's came, right out of Charlie's room.

Leah was standing in the doorway, screaming for her roommate, not able to do something and When Charlie was entering the room her heart was pounding to her chest.

The fragile figure was sitting at the other end of the room, her back pressed to the wall, while she was holding something sharp in her hand which looked like a scissors, obviously crying desperate.

And she was dreaming, not able to escape the nightmare which causes all this.

"Joey…" Charlie only managed to say, getting nearer, scarred of the girl thinking she might be a part of the nightmare, attacking her like she did once. But maybe she was able to recognize her voice.

"Go away!!" She was screaming, make Charlie stopping in her tracks, until the older woman realized it wasn't her who should leave. It was someone else, she was talking to in her dreams.

"No, Don't… Please… Don't do it again… Don't … Don't hurt me, please… I'll do whatever you want, but don't hit me…. Don't, Brett, don't … No… It hurts…. It hurts so… Please… It hurts so much…"

Her voice was getting lower with the last word she said, but her body was shaking.

"Jo, it's me, Charlie. You are only dreaming…"

She said, but wasn't really able to get through, so the only thing she thought would help was a touch. So she get closer, forced the younger girl to come back.

Taking another step forward, getting down on her knees and ignoring the sharp scissors she instead pulling Joey into her embrace.

Charlie was able to feel Joey's body trembling and her eyes were flushing open, breathing heavily, searching for anything she could hold onto. But worse of it, she still was crying her heart out.

"Jo, it's okay. I am here. I am with you. Everything's okay. You are in my room and nothing will happen to you. Brett won't be able to hurt you ever again. It's alright." Stroking through Joeys hair, she felt how Joey's breath slowly calmed a little. And suddenly she was feeling Joeys arm around her neck, her hands searching for a hold, before she started to breath heavily again.

"Shhh… sweetie…. Shh…" She made a few times, continuing it while she was wiping her, holding her, comforting her, before she stood up with Joey in her arms.

She only needed to take a few steps with Joey in her arms until she laid her down on the bed, before sitting on the edge of the bed, still stroking Joey's hair, showing Leah with her eyes she could leave now and thanked her for calling her.

As she rose up to get Joey glass water, she felt a weak hand grabbing her arm.

"Don't…" She was just saying.

With one word trying to force Charlie to stay.

"I will get you water, I'll be right back."

"I… don't… need… I need… I… need… you."

Charlie needed Joey nothing more to say before she lay down on her side, feeling her tears and her breath on her skin and suddenly feeling her body against hers too. It was a shy hug, but it was all the both woman needed to go back to sleep: Holding the girl they felt like falling in love.

A sweet stroke was suffusing both bodies at the same time when they touched firmly.

"Nothing will ever happen to you again, Jo. I promise. I am here." Charlie whispered in Joey's ear, waiting until Joey slept again, before she went of to sleep too.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

The first night was tough for Joey.

The nightmares were pretty normal for her, but now it was different.

She was captured in the darkness, not able to find the light, not knowing where she was, no one at her side, but with Brett still on her mind.

And all the bad memories were coming back, rushing down on her and strange voices were getting a part of her dream.

All she could do was hiding like she tried when she was a young girl to escape Brett. She was also searching in the dark for something she could fight with, crawling to the next wall, trying to hide herself there.

Then the voices was getting louder, screaming's for help, for someone who was named Charlie.

_Charlie. Charlie. Charlie._

Yes, she remembered a Charlie.

She remembered her sweet smile and her beautiful eyes, but it wasn't strong enough to escape Brett. No, she was caught with him, maybe her whole life.

He was too big, too strong, and almighty.

But suddenly she felt something else then fear.

She felt soft hands reaching for her, smelling her scent, hearing her voice, able to touch the one she was waiting for.

But the shock was still there, made it impossible to walk and so the older woman was there, again, lifting her up, laying her down on the bed.

The next thing she remembered was holding onto Charlie, pleading her not to go, instead wanting her to stay, reaching for her once again before she was going back to sleep.

But neither the night, nor her dreams were over. She was still starting to cry uncontrollable, making it hard for Charlie or herself to sleep, but she was happy Charlie was still there to hold her in her arms through the night.

Waking up Joey found them both in a strange position: her head resting on Charlie's shoulder, her lips almost touching Charlie's cheek and both with their fingers, their arms and legs entwined, holding each other as close as possible. Dreaming had brought them into this position and Joey loved it to lay so close to the woman who saved her, who meant maybe too much to her.

_Joey, concentrate… she is the first girl you were every touching like this. It is normal to feel delighted. It isn't because of Charlie… oh god… how she is biting her lips while she is sleeping. Joey, you don't need to fail yourself. It is because of her_

Now without any nightmares, rather thinking of how much she was enjoying the touch of Charlie's body pressed on hers she went off to sleep… again.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: **You know I'd love to give you longer chapters, but work is bussy, only one week until school starts again and I have a loooot to do, so I think „Better giving them anything then nothing."

See, I don't like you all waiting. I hope you forgive me my short chapters.

Thanks to all your reviews!

I love writing, especially writing my first English fanfiction, but with your comments it makes mooooreee fun! Thanks to all of you!

**jsco81:** Oh me too! I love it to let her act like that! I wish I could have my own protective Charlie *dreaming*… or better… a Joey to protect…

**Gunni11:** that's just suchhhhh a sweet compliment… thank you! I'm always worried doing a bad job… I am waiting for the comment: stop it! Until then I'll write and hopefully be able to make you smile sometimes!!

**ashikinz:** ohhhhh… another comment that makes me blushing, hehe… and yeah, raw emotions are the best emotions at the beginning… they make your heart pounding against your chest, making your soul hoping for more, it makes you feel dizzy and delighted at the same time…

**funkyshaz57:** oh good! I hope I don't disappoint you with my plans of how it is going on with both of them

**purplemonkeyys:** believe me, it' going to be sweet… hopefully you are thinking the same… I dream about it, really, sooo exited to write it… hehe… yeah this story is the reason of my sleepless nights and my day dreaming at work. _You are all responsible_ for me being caught in my thoughts and getting in trouble with my boss =D

**:** I will, I promise ;-)

**1818:** I loved the rain scene too. It wasn't meant to be, well I haven't thought about that rare moment to let their feelings grow, but then it just happened. It's like Joey and Charlie are doing what they want, guiding my fingers… It's really strange =D

SOOO no more talking, more writing for me and NOW more reading for you ;-) Hope you all like it, and pleeeease leave a comment *going down on my knees, pleading*

**-Sun**

…………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter 8**

When she woke up, her head felt dizzy and she wasn't able to feel her arm. She wasn't even remembering what happened last night. Slowly opening her eyes she spotted the reason, why her arm felt so strange; Joey was lying with her head right on Charlie's arm, still sleeping. Charlie couldn't resist watching the younger girl, playing with the idea placing a soft kiss on her cheek. But she didn't, too afraid to wake Joey, too afraid to freak her out.

But wasn't Joey the one who kissed her on the cheek in the rain?

Wasn't Joey the one who wanted her to stay?

_Nightmares. She did it because she was scared. _

She told herself, glancing at the clock, suddenly feeling lived up.

"Shit!" She whispered, recognizing she should have been at work almost half an hour ago. Slowly she managed to lift Joeys head to get up, but as she just moved a little she suddenly felt Joey's hand grabbing her shirt with her fingers, showing her she should stay.

And the first time Charlie was smiling instead of hurrying.

She was laying down again watching the beautiful girl on her side sleeping instead of thinking of work.

Now she wasn't the professional super cop who lived for her job.

Now she was a normal girl, giving in, guided by her feelings.

…………………………………………………………………………………

Joey felt safe and warm, realized how bad she needed to sleep, how bad she needed Charlie. It felt like heaven to lie in her arms, know she would be there if her fears were too much to take, if she needed to cry again. Charlie was just holding her, saying soft words, filled with passion and Compassion, or she was saying nothing at all, just wiping her tears away, looking into her eyes, letting her know she was there.

From now on things would be different for both of them.

Joey just wished it wouldn't be so hard to look into Charlie's eyes.

She wished it wouldn't be so hard to touch her.

She wished she wouldn't fall in love with her.

But it was too late. It wasn't just because she was thankful and having a beautiful girl like Charlie around her.

Instead it was like Charlie was meant to be to save her, and maybe Joey was meant to be saved by Charlie.

Maybe it was fate, maybe it all happened by accident and maybe it was just luck. She knew what it was for her, it was everything.

And feeling the older woman rising up she felt scarred of letting her go. Maybe she was leaving her alone? Maybe it was just too good to be true? Lifting her hand, grabbing her shirt was the only thing she could do, too tired to open her eyes or open her mouth. It was all she did, and all she needed to do. She smiled mentally as she felt Charlie's body lying down again.

…………………………………………………………………………………

"Good morning." Charlie said, smiling when Joey opened her eyes slowly, looking straight into her chocolate brown eyes.

"Morning." Was all she could manage to say, yawning.

"How late it is?"

"It's around half past 9."

"What?" Joey asked confused. She never slept that long, even she had a sleepless night because of her nightmares. She always used to wake up around 8 o'clock or earlier starting her day. Even she hasn't much to do back then in the institutions.

"Yeah. You slept long. I guess you needed that." Charlie replied, not able to let Joey go, even both of them were awake.

"Wow… that's not typical for me. Well… everything is not typical here." Joey answered smiling. "And because of that… I need to thank you Charlie. What you did for me the last days and last night. I don't know what I would have done without you…"

"No need to thank me, everyone would have done the same."

"No. That's wrong, Charlie. It's special for me…" Joey got nearer, pulling Charlie into a tight embrace, not able to let her go again.

"Is it strange I want to hold you, I want you to hold me?" Joey suddenly asked, blushing, thinking of her stupidity to say something like that, and not knowing Charlie was feeling the same.

"No… I want to do the same…" Holding tight onto her she wanted to stay like that forever.

"Could we stay in bed a little longer, starting our day first in a few hours?" The younger girl asked shy, now wanting to do things different.

Eleven years she has spent her days with doing the same, _every_ single day. But now she would start different, hoping every day would start like this, with Charlie's arms around her body.

It was her first morning apart from the desert.

Instead she felt like floating away in Charlie's arms.

Yes, she would start different.

She would start smiling.

………………………………………………………………………………

"Would you some eggs to breakfast?"

"Um… yes, please." Joey answered, watching Charlie act in her kitchen. It was crazy to see all these kind of stuff she has never seen in her life, watching Charlie who act on them like it was the most normal thing in the world when Joey didn't even know what she used. Instead of asking her what she was doing, she rather watched Charlie attentive to see what she was using for what.

"Everything's okay?"

"Oh… yeah… yeah…" She felt trapped by Charlie who looked worried.

"Really… everything's okay, I haven't felt that good for years, you know… It's… It's just… I have lost 11 years of my life and they will never come back. I haven't finished school, I wasn't able to go shopping with my friends or spending nights with them watching movies at home or in the cinema. I wasn't able to talk to them about the new trends, buying magazines like every girl begrudging the women's on the sites. I haven't read a good book in years and so much changed, I feel like I'm no part of this world anymore. And the worse of it is; I never had a kiss which sends butterflies through my stomach. I felt like I have slipped so much, Charlie…" Tears were welling up in her eyes, even she tried so hard to hold them back. Charlie has seen too much of her tears the last days and she didn't want to seem delicately or like a sentimental fool, but the thought of being eleven steps behind the whole world made her sad.

"What do you want to do first?" Charlie asked seriously.

"What do you mean?"

"How do you want to spend your first day in freedom, the first day of the rest of your life? How do you want to revitalize your life? Joey, listen, I know you have lost 11 years and I really can't imagine how hard this must be now, but we are going to replace all the bad memories.

We are going to create something new.

We are going to buy magazines, talking about the latest trends.

We are going to the city, shopping, until our feets are bleeding.

We are spending nights watching movies or going to the cinema.

We are going to do all of this and even more, I promise. So what are we going to do today?"

Joey can't believe what she was hearing.

Would Charlie really do all this for her? Maybe she wasn't just a girl calling out for mercy. And maybe Charlie wasn't just there to give her mercy. Charlie was there to give her so much more.

"I… I really don't now…"

"Come on, Jo… be more creative…" Charlie said with a smile on her face.

…………………………………………………………………………………..

After a few minutes they decided to do a walk through whole Summer Bay to show Joey where she was spending her time now and with whom. When people asked them, they pretended Joey to be an old friend of Charlie from another city. Joey didn't mind, she was good in pretending and to be honest she really appreciate being a liar now. Because she could imagine how people react with her saying she was at the madhouse for eleven years. It wouldn't be that appreciate she guessed. Not everyone would act like Charlie. Not everyone would be able to understand. Not everyone would be able to let her feel normal again. Only Charlie was able to do so.

When Charlie asked her if she'd like to see the ocean she negated. Not because she didn't want to see the water again. No, it was her biggest desire. But she wanted it to be something special, not now, not when they were going to drive to the city to buy new clothes for her. She would see the ocean early enough, hopefully soon and then longer.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

It was amazing for Charlie too watch after Joey, too see her big grin and how her eyes was gleaming when she was looking around, seeing the shops and the people walking through the city. She has never seen such a rush.

Sometimes a "Wow!" escaped her lips and her mouth was standing open. Charlie felt like she was in the city with a little kid who was able to get fascinated by minor things. But she loved it.

Walking around the city they finally found a shop to buy new clothes for Joey, leaving it again with some new shirts and new trousers. She even found a black dress that made Joey look even more stunning.

Charlie couldn't believe how beautiful the younger girl was when she was coming out of the cabin, looking shyly at Charlie with her long dark hair falling down on her shoulders.

"Is it okay?" She asked when Charlie wasn't able to say something.

"It's that bad, isn't it?" Joey finally said, managing to go back into the cabin when she suddenly felt a hand on her wrist, pulling her back, letting the butterflies build up inside.

"No it isn't… it's beautiful… you are…" Charlie said, almost shaking nervously, feeling her desire to touch Joey again, but more intimate, slowly building up. But as soon as she thought she was able to act on her feeling, as soon a part of her notified itself, forcing Charlie to let the younger woman go.

"You should buy it." Was all she said before settling down on the small chair again, watching Joey go inside of the cabin again.

Joey was standing inside the cabin, still grabbing the cloth of the curtain, still trying to get her calm down, to breathe normal, to get her butterflies settled and her heart beating like a heart should beat. She couldn't stand these ups and downs, because her body wasn't able to take more. Quickly changing her dress, she left the curtain, heading with Charlie to pay at the till. Both couldn't say something until they left the shop.

……………………………………………………………………………………

"And which movie are we going to watch now???" Joey asked, already sitting cross-legged down on the couch with an orange-red pillow on her knees, eating a little bit of the popcorn Charlie has made to create the perfect cinema-feeling.

"It's from 2003. I thought we should start with this. It's one of my favourite movies!" Charlie replied from the kitchen, getting them something to drink in the kitchen while Joey should sit down and relax.

Joey smiled at the thought how much Charlie tried to comfort her. It made her feel special and wanted, not like she was imposing herself on Charlie. And she knew, even Charlie pretended it was something everyone would do, it meant so much more. It was like a connection that brought them together, that made Joey trust Charlie so fast, those made her believe and open up again.

"Sooooo… Here is your drink. A coke, right?" Joey nodded, grabbing for the drink.

"What is the name of the movie?"

"It's called 'Never been kissed'." Charlie replied by way of parenthesis, not knowing what was wrong with the titled until she saw Joeys face.

"Senior Constable Charlie Buckton, you want to tease me!!!" Joey exclaim horrified, but almost laughing.

"Oh I'm so sorry, Jo. I didn't mean to…"

"Yep… right… you didn't mean to…" Joey said playing to be offended.

"Hey, Jo. I mean… _someday_ you will get your butterfly – kiss. I'm sure of that! That's a promise!! See, I have never had a butterfly - kiss instead… We are both butterfly – kisses – virgins!"

"You just want to cheer me up!"

"No, no. It's a promise! You think I could lie?"

"I am not so sure… Who should be able to give me such a kiss?" Joey said, hoping Charlie would give in, telling her, she would be able. But she didn't reply, until it was too late.

"Hey guys! What are you doing?" Ruby said, surprising both of them.

"Rubes, what are you doing here?"

"Oh… Xavier is in a bad mood today, I guess some heavy arguments with Hugo. So I thought we could spend the night together?"

"Sure… Sure… Sit down…" Charlie replied a little bit disappointed when Ruby was sitting down in the middle of them.

2 hours she wouldn't be able to touch Joey.

2 hours she wouldn't be able to feel the butterflies flying, jumping around.

But she wasn't right. It didn't even take 20 minutes until their body's needed to be connected to each other, barely Rubes was standing up to use the toilet, both woman were starring in each others eyes, silent, but knowing what they wanted.

"You mind if I…?" Joey asked shyly.

"No… No… Please… you could lie here to see something…" Charlie was blushing, like she never did, feeling Joeys head right over her left breast, touching her hand, enwinding their fingers.

_Someday__ may come soon._


	9. Chapter 9

**AN**: The next chapters will be a little bit different. With this I mean they will start with an inner monologue of the characters to a determined topic. So don't be confused when it' suddenly changing again to the usual style.

**purplemonkeyys:** I know you hate me now after I let Ruby coming in the scene, but please have pity with me, give me another chance. I'll give you your CJ scenes soon enough, will I?

**jsco81:** Yeah, that's what I like about her now the most. In a way she is stuck in her eleven years, not able to make experience like others, but she is so smart and knows a lot.

**funkyshaz57:** Oh believe me it won't be a typical CJ story. You need to know I LOVE Thrillers! I haven't written one yet, but I love them.

**cimbetau:** oh thank you, that's sweet! I'm doing my best, I really want you to enjoy reading and drifting away for a few minutes. I hope I will be able to get this going on.

**1818:** you are very smart =D

**Gunni11**: thank you, I am doing the best I can=)

**:** I won't tell much more what they are doing, or were doing, but one of their activities will be a big event. I promise!

Thanks to all of you who are still sending me comments. It feels so good having you=)

Hope you like the next chapter. And I know here is another short one, because tomorrow I'll write a very important chapter… I am very excited about it now. I guess I won't be able to sleep.. But you all: Just relax, wait and then you will see what's coming in Chapter 10.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter 9**

Changes.

They are coming so fast, you are not really able to be prepared. I think Changes are like dogs. There are good dogs and bad dogs. You can meet them just on a short walk.

The good ones can be there suddenly, but they are tail – wagging, friendly and you are enjoying them in every second.

Then there are the bad ones, biting you when you are not excepting it and it hurt so much, it pulls you back and sometimes you are not able to cope with it. But changes are normal, they are everywhere. You just wish they would be good ones every time.

To be honest I can't wish for something more now. Waking up at Charlie's side for almost 1 week felt like heaven; Going into the city, watching movies, spending time talking about Charlie's past or listening to music. We found enough things to do. But the most important time was the night, spending in her arms after asking her to stay every night with me.

I know she took her time off in work to spend every day and night with me to show me how to live. And with her life is wonderful. It's sweet how hard she's trying to make me happy. But she doesn't need to do much, I'm enjoying the time, just knowing she is by my side and no one will ever destroy this again. Hopefully.

Now I'm opening my eyes, because I feel her fingers on my skin, stroking my back so softly I can feel the butterflies flying, I can hear them singing. Oh yeah, there are truly singing:

"Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight  
Lead me out on the moonlit floor  
Lift your open hand  
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance  
Silver moon's sparkling  
So kiss me"

Or maybe it is just the radio that is on, Ruby singing to it in the kitchen. I don't care.

I look at Charlie, smiling, wanting to say these words to her, but I know I can't. I can't risk loosing the nearness we are sharing.

"Good morning beauty…" She is saying, watching me, I feel like her vistas are piercing me.

"Good morning…" I am mumbling, resting my head on the pillow, feeling the dog sitting on my back. But I don't care. No, because he is tail – wagging.

The dogs were good to me.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

"Hey Watson…" Charlie said seeing her colleague as she entered her office after 7 whole days again. They were talking on the phone about some work Watson could do before Charlie was coming again, but the work was first starting _when_ she was coming back again.

Charlie felt strange in her uniform after Joey showed her seven days how it was to be normal. How it was to made every day to something special and it also felt strange for Charlie that she wasn't only helping Joey. Joey was helping her, too. Helping her, the strong organized cop, to be happy again.

"Oh, nice to see you here again after a while… wait… what was your name? I can't remember…" The girl answered with a smile on her face.

"Oh… that's so funny!" Charlie replied smiling to, but getting seriously again as Joey's brother entered her mind. "What is about the information I needed you to find out?"

"Everything's on your table. Where he lived, if there's any previous convictions or actually arrest warrants. But nothing. You can check it out in the file. It's like he disappeared eleven years ago. Nothing usable about him. Maybe he really has changed, starting a new life. Maybe just a fortuity."

"A fortuity? I don't think so. After what he did to his dad and his sister, if it's the truth and I really think it is I don't think it is only a fortuity he disappeared afterwards. Do we have a picture of him?"

"Yes…" Watson answered, knowing why she asked. "And I was already giving his photo to all of our cops, but no one has seen him in Summer Bay. Maybe the girl is just scared. She spent 11 years in the madhouse for nothing, always scared of her violent older brother. She could be affected by the event of her fathers death feeling haunted by a shadow."

Charlie wasn't replying. To be honest she was thinking the same. The cop in her thought about this possibility. Joey wasn't meant to be in the madhouse, but she was still in shock. A shock that lasted for eleven years. A shock that still caused nightmares.

"Well, we will see. We just need to keep our eyes open." Charlie said before sitting down in front of her table, opening the file, looking in his dark brown, almost black, eyes. _The eyes of the devil, _she thought to herself.

Almost 2 hours later she was looking at the clock realizing she hadn't much time to get ready before she was going to the cinema with Joey. Rising up from her chair, smiling, she left the file in the top drawer, promising herself she would continue her work tomorrow after spending an evening with Joey.

"Watson, I am finishing work now, having some plans for tonight."

"Oh, your grin is telling me something. You are going to have a date!! I am right. Am I?"

Charlie grinned at the thought calling it a real date, even she wished clandestinely it would be.

"Yeah, Watson. Something like that." She replied smiling, before leaving her office.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

When she were first wearing it in the shop she asked herself for what she could use that. She didn't even know, but Charlie was forcing her, not with her words, only with her eyes, to buy it. She could see in her eyes how amazing she must look in the dress. And today was the perfect event to wear it. Glancing into the mirror she was smiling. Only 2 hours were left until they would go out with each other, and Charlie would come home soon. She told Joey she would just go down to the station to deal with the whole Brett story to be sure he wasn't really haunting Joey or able to reach her. Joey smiled at the thought how protective Charlie was, forgetting everything around her to be there for a girl she only knew 7 days now.

_7 incredible days,_ Joey thought while looking at her mirror image. The black knee-length dress fits her small figure perfectly letting her look like a real woman. 11 years she has spent with wide and simple clothes. She felt like she has spent 11 years as a child, but now, after spending 7 days with Charlie, she felt like she has grown up to a beautiful woman. And even she felt like she wouldn't have a chance, she wanted to look beautiful for the cop she was falling so badly.

Because of Charlie she felt like she has left all the shadows behind her.

"Hey Joey!" Joey was twitching altogether being interrupted in her thoughts.

Things have changed, but some things were still the same.

"Oh hey Ruby, nice to see you." She replied politely trying to hide her fear that was building up inside her within seconds.

"Wow, Joey, you look great. What are you doing today? Having a hot date?" Ruby asked with a fat grin on her face.

"No, I am just hanging out with Charlie. We are going to the cinema. It's a day like everyday." Joey said a little bit too underwhelmed, recognizing how Ruby was looking at her. But not saying anything at all.

"Wow…" came a voice from behind. A voice which wasn't able to freak the younger girl out, too much she got used to it. Too much she loved to hear her voice.

"Charlz, you are back! How was work?" Ruby was asking, looking at Charlie who needed all her self – control not gazing at Joey who was standing there; Her hair open, her dress on, smiling shyly.

"It was okay, Rubes." Charlie answered looking at Joey again.

"Something because of…?" Joey managed finally to ask, not able to mention his name, but needing to know what was going on. Also trying to talk about something else before the situation was becoming too strange.

"No. Nothing. Seems like he isn't here, you know…" Ruby didn't know anything like Leah didn't know and at best it should stay like that. Due to that both of them wasn't able to say more, but understanding anything.

"Oh god, girls! I will leave you alone, you don't have to talk like that because little Ruby is in the room! My gosh…" And with that the younger girl was storming out, but both of them were too lost in their thoughts to feel sorry.

"You look…" both said at the same time, waiting for the other to continue, thinking of the same again.

"…Incredible awesome in your black dress." – "…Great _(hot_…) in your uniform."

Starting to laugh, due to the fact they were saying it simultaneously again, gazing in each others eyes they were not able to hide their attraction any longer.

"I should… I should get a shower and then getting dressed…" Charlie finally managed to say, stuttering a little bit.

"Yeah… right… we have to be there soon…"

"Alright… So…"

"See you later?"

"Yes, see you later." Charlie answered with a smile.

_Even __I can't wait for 'later' anymore. _

…………………………………………………………………………………….

**AN:** Now you have seen what I meant with inner monologue ;-) I just wanted to do that too see how it is to write like being Joey or Charlie. And of course I want to see how you like it, so tell me, I'm excited.

Did you like it or are you thinking: Please, forget that forever and write like ever.

So now something to do for you… I am sorry for the extra work, but I need to know. Choose a, b or c.

That was good. I'd like to get more of the Joey/Charlie - "I" – writing.

Don't do that ever again. I just like the normal stuff you have done. (You can also tell me both is shit… =D )

Well I don't know… I guess I will rather get some ice cream then answering this.

Thanks to all of you! =)

-Sun


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: **So, here the long waited Chapter 10 for you. I was dreaming of it all the time

And hope it's only as half as good as I imagine it to be =D Well I can't say much now, well it should stay a little exciting ;) Have fun reading.

You are too good to me! I love your reviews!!

** ashikinz:** I know how it is to be a reader, wanting to read another chapter and so I'm trying to write a chapter to a prearranged point, thinking it would be best to stop there and continue later. I don't like to give you short chapters, but I rather give you short chapters then no chapters. Hahaha… you are smart… you don't like a ,b or c and made a d =D I like it. Thank you!

** 1818:** And you will get more of it. I don't know how often you get more of it. But 100% in this Chapter. But to be honest I wasn't thinking much of CJ hanging out with others. But maybe this will come later. Serious chapters are following first.

** :** Here it is , the important Chapter 10! But pls like my writing afterwards too*pleading* But I have the feeling you will haunt me like the beast in the beauty&the beast =D I hope you are not going to do this.

** gayornot:** Thank you, I'll keep this in mind =)

** purplemonkeyys:** clever, clever =D But maybe it's not CJ? Maybe they are not really in love with each other? :-D okay okay… joke… I guess you wouldn't believe me that either. You are toooo clever! =D Sherlock purplemonkeyys!!

**jsco81:** thank you!

…………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter 10**

Full moon is 3 days in a month and I'm asking myself if its fate it's also on this special day. Looking up into the beautiful dark sky you can't overlook it.

Full moon has so many meanings at all:

In science the full moon is just a lunar phase that occurs when the Moon is on the opposite side of the Earth from the Sun, but nothing more. Some people are also not able to sleep when its full moon, haunted by nightmares.

The Teutons had their gatherings on full moon and a lot of magical actions have to be done at this time.

Parents like to tell stories saying full moon night is the night of witches or telling story's of werewolves.

But for me, the full moon today is just a sign of attraction. It's just a sign for not shown feelings. It's a sign for my growing love.

"Charlie! Look its full moon!" Joes said with such a wave of enthusiasm I could believe she has never seen the full moon in her entire life.

"Isn't he incredible? Eleven years I have spending nights with watching the moon behind glasses, but now I'll see him without glasses."

I know I shouldn't look at her. Instead I should concentrate on the street. But it wasn't able for me to concentrate when all I wanted to see was her smile.

"You will be able to see it the whole night." I promised her, but hoping it won't be the only thing she wanted to see. I want her to want me, even I shouldn't think that way. I should be happy she was able to open up so soon, but no, I want more. I want her so much, and even I'd like to deny it, I am not able to do it this time. She is just too affecting.

"We are there." I am saying slowly, stopping the car, letting her get out, before I'm getting out of the car myself, able to look at her completely.

"Come on Charlie. The movie is starting soon." Her eyes are glancing, and I'm noticing something more than pleasant anticipation for the movie in her eyes, but I can't tell what it is. I guess I am just pleased she is smiling.

Yes, today the full moon is different.

For me it will be a sign for something you can't have even you'd die for it.

I'd die for her.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

Both weren't really interested in the movie, even they pretended to be. What else should they do than looking at the big screen in front of them? All they could do was waiting what was happening next.

All they could do was touching each other slightly with their shoulders and their arms. Instead both of them would like to crawl in each other arms, but respecting that they couldn't do that now.

When their fingers suddenly touched while grabbing for popcorn they couldn't resist looking at each other and soon the movie wasn't important anymore. All Charlie wanted to say was "I'm crazy for you…" all she was saying instead was "Is the chair comfortable?"

Joey loved the fact how she was able to make the cop at her side that nervous.

But she was not replying, until she looked away, resting her head on Charlie's shoulder. "Now it's comfortable." She replied smiling.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

"What are we going to do now? I don't want to go back, yet." Joey was saying after they walked to the car. "Maybe we could go to the beach. I want to see it with you now. I think I am ready. It's the perfect now." Joey was smiling, knowing tonight would be the perfect time to see the place she love at most ,again after eleven years, with the girl she felt so good spending time with.

"Good idea." Charlie was just replying, hoping her glances wouldn't bespeak what she was thinking the whole time. But she just can't stop looking at her, and now it was more then difficult after she realized it wasn't just a simple feeling or her thought of saving a poor girl. It was so much more. And after realizing that this was what she wanted she had to fight her feelings, knowing she couldn't just act on them. She was too scared to loose Joey finally, after she had just found her 1 week ago. Without saying something else she sat down in front of the steering wheel guiding them to the beach.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

"Isn't it beautiful?" Joey said out loud, stucking in her dreaming as she sat in front of the ocean, watching the waves jumping up and down and then staying calm within seconds.

"The best thing is the sound of the ocean – closing your eyes you are finally drifting away. That happened to me every time on my dad's trawler." Mentioning her dad hurting so much, because thinking of him made her also think of his death and of the one who caused her painful memories. And it wasn't hard for Charlie to recognizing it, quickly laying her hand on Joey's who was smiling bravely.

"We make new memories, Joey." Charlie said out loud returning her smile.

"Yes we will… Tell me Charlie, when did you have your first kiss?"

Charlie looked confused when Joey suddenly asked her something like that, when she didn't want to talk about a kiss that was unimportant to her, when all she wanted to do was kissing the girl beneath herself.

"I don't know… I guess it was when I was 16 with a boy in my class. He was one of the footballers and I was one of the talented sport girls. We dated each other a few times and then he kissed me, sucking his tongue down my throat. Hey don't you dare to laugh! It was just so urgh… Nobody was able to get under it, but to be honest, nothing was better, too. Like you I am just waiting for the perfect kiss, you know? The kiss that makes you feel perfect, like you want to kiss the other person until your mouth is swollen. But even then you would continue, not able to waive this beautiful feeling."

"I know what you mean…" Joey finally managed to say looking at Charlie's beautiful lips, wanting to touch them, when Charlie was looking straight into the full moon.

"Charlie?"

"Yes, Jo?"

"You know what I would like to do?"

Charlie's heart was beating faster, almost bursting out of her body…

"I want to swim." …Slowing down again

"What do you want?"

"It's so beautiful. Come on Charlie!!" She already stood up.

"But we have nothing here to go swimming?" Charlie answered confused

(**AN**: While reading this part listen to Kinnie Starr – Alright.

Here is the youtube link. Hope you are enjoying it!

.com/watch?v=eQW_fDc7Hb8)

"No problem…Come on!" Joey was calling as she lifted the black dress over her head and letting it fall down on the sand, waiting almost naked in front of the older woman only with her black underwear on.

She was standing there, waiting for her to do the same. But Charlie wasn't able to say or do something, only looking at the stunning woman in front of her. This was all she wished for happening and then nothing was happening at all.

"I will go in there now. Are you coming?" She said smiling, waiting for Charlie to take her hand and stand up. And finally Charlie was managing to stand up, still holding Joeys hand when she was standing in front of her. All she wanted to do was touching the younger girl, but forcing herself not to do so. She was just so beautiful. Her skin so white, her hair so black, her lips so full and red and her figure so perfect.

But all she was doing was getting the white top over her head and her blue trousers out, following Joey into the water, who smiled like a child on Christmas.

But instead of Charlie she was going so deep in, until she was standing with the water over her breasts. But Charlie was already freezing with the water only reaching her knees.

"I… I can't…" She was saying, mad at herself, when Joey was just smiling insightfully, giving Charlie the feeling she wasn't thinking Charlie was acting like a child like she thought about herself.

"Don't worry. Come nearer to me Charlie. You get used to it." Joey said and with that she was coming to get Charlie, standing a few minutes later where she was standing before. But Charlie was still shaking.

"You have to get restful, wind down, Charlie. Come on, close your eyes." The older woman didn't want to look away from Joey, but she was doing it, waiting what would come next, and trusting her.

But as she closed her eyes she was scared that when she opened her eyes Joey wouldn't be there anymore, suddenly feeling hands on her hips.

"You need to calm down. Don't think about how cold the water is, think about something else. Think about how different it is to be touched under water. It's an amazing feeling, isn't it?" Joey asked while skimming over the abdomen of the woman she was having these strong feelings for. Being here with her at the place she loved the most she felt save and overjoyed, hoping Charlie would feel the same.

Charlie was only able to nod with her head, scarred she would gasp pleasured with opening her mouth when she felt Joeys hand crawling so soft over her belly, almost placing her hand over her breasts, then reaching for her shoulders, stroking her neck so soft and full of tenderness going down her wet body again.

"See, its working. You are not freezing like before." Joey said proud, watching Charlie, thinking how beautiful she was standing here, the moon light falling down on her face.

"What are you thinking about?" She finally managed to ask, scarred what she would hear.

Charlie wasn't sure if she should give in, finding one of Joeys hand on her belly and the other on her hip.

She didn't know if it was the right thing to do, but she also knew she would explode without touching her; without feeling Joey's body against her own. She would explode without loving the woman in front of her.

"I want to kiss you."

She said out, almost whispering, opening her eyes again to glance at the younger woman, finding her way to Joey's fingers, enwinding them slowly. She was not able to say something, waiting desperately for Joey to do something. Anything.

"Please…" She whispered finally, almost not audible. "…Kiss me."

3 Words, forcing Charlie to forget all her fears, forcing her to raise her hands to stroke Joey's neck softly, before pulling her nearer.

And when their lips first met the butterflies began to fly, thanking Aphrodite for release. And they were dancing, surrounding the two girls the whole time their kiss lasted and it looked like they would never stop again.

Even it was a soft kiss, their lips pressed together at first to experience each other slowly, it was full of tenderness.

They never parted, they even stopped breathing, not wanting to stop kissing after they were able to give in. After they were finally able to act on their desires and being sure the other wanted it too.

And even Charlie was scared of doing to much; she wanted to feel more of Joe, suddenly opening her mouth to taste her. Joey was following this, passionate the kiss even more, holding each other tight.

Both of them couldn't believe what was actually happening in the water when the full moon was watching them; their mouths playing a sensual game.

Charlie finally letting her tongue sliding over Joey's lips, hoping she would react, feeling a fire rushing through her whole body as she felt Joeys tongue in her mouth. A new game started.

Joey was exploring her lovers mouth with a passion, Charlie was almost going crazy, drifting away overwhelmed. No one had been able to send her almost over the edge with only a kiss.

But as she felt Joey's arms around her, caressing her back and finally her ass, she knew she wanted more. She didn't want to get her nearer, instead she wanted to feel Joey under her. Pulling Joey backwards, out of the water without breaking the kiss she knew what she wanted to do; bringing both of them down on her knees before pulling Joey down on her back.

Charlie was starring in her eyes, able to recognize the lust and the passion. And she was recognizing the love. Even she wanted to look in Joey's eyes forever her need to feel her lips again was more desperate. First propped up on her elbows, secondly letting her body rest over Joey's she can't resist of doing much more. She can't resist Joey.

Pulling herself beneath Joey's legs she knew she had the power over the younger girl. Now she was able to satisfy both of them at the same time.

Joey suddenly gave a groan in the middle of the kiss as she felt Charlie moving slowly up and down, back and forward.

The pleasure built up inside her, joining the infuriation and the love, she pulled back suddenly, not sure if it was the right thing to do here.

"Joey? Is something wrong? Have I done…?" Charlie asked worried, scarred of ruining their connection, still wanting to lay down with Joey in her arms at the night.

"No… No, Charlie…" She said smiling shyly, still glancing at the older woman with attraction and love in her eyes.

"It's just… I am not sure… I want you so badly. Hardly are you letting me go, I want you to touch me again. It's like a necessity. But I don't know… here?" She finally asked, performing magic's putting a naughty smile on Charlie's face.

"Why not?" She replied, can't wait to touch Joey again, but first she wanted to sort things out, before kissing her again. She wanted her to want it.

"It's perfect here at the place you love the most. The night is perfect, you are perfect…"

"We are perfect…" Joey mentioning before pulling Charlie in another kiss, doing the thing she wanted to do the whole time, grabbing for Charlie's bra to put it down. Joey was sure it was the right thing to do. Now.

"You are unbelievable hot… You are everything to me." Joey said almost crying, looking intentionally at Charlie.

Full moon has done everything. Full moon was watching and shining for them as their lips met again, as their body moved in the same rhythm.

Full moon was there as both of them were groaning, calling each others name, whispering words of pleasure.

But Full moon was also the guardian of the big and ugly werewolf. Full moon was his time, the sign _he_ used.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

Opening the door fast, they still kissed passionate, letting their tongues play. Charlie wasn't interrupting the kiss to close the door. Instead she pulled Joey hard against the wooden door to close it, biding a while in this position, Charlie was managing to pull her up, letting her legs entangling her hips, still kissing her, still tasting her. After them spending enough time in this position they decided to walk to Charlie's bedroom, not breaking the kiss again, and not scared to be seen, due to the fact no one was spending the night at home except of them. But even they had the house for them they decided to lay down in her sleeping clothes which meant short trousers for both of them and a tank top.

All they wanted to do what was what they were doing the whole week, was holding each other.

"Charlie?"

"Yes?" She replied kissing Joey's bladebone soft.

"I'm one more kiss away from falling so deeply and madly in Love with you." Joey whispered before drifting off to sleep, dreaming of Charlie's soft skin.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

Voices.

Screaming.

Pleading.

Crying.

Desperate Screaming. Everywhere.

And Blood.

Red hot blood.

Her memories shredded, her head spinning, her ears hurting, her mouth dry. Opening her eyes she was sweating, breathing heavily when she woke up from a bad nightmare.

"Only a nightmare, Charlie. Slow down." She was telling herself, touching her head, confused why she felt so dizzy.

"Joey, I'll get glass water. I'm right back." She said into the darkness, first realizing there wasn't someone else breathing than hers.

"Joey?" She was calling out.

_Maybe she is in the bathroom._, she told herself; denying it the same time she thought it.

_No she is never going without telling me._

"Joey?" She was screaming now, turning on the light, seeing what she never wanted to see.

"_**Don't say a word"**_

Trying to find a hold she was feeling sick until she finally throws up.

Trying to find something she was able to tell herself it was only a dream she was going down, falling to the ground, crying, hoping it wasn't real. But as much as she wished it to be a nightmare, waking up in Joey's arms again, she realized it was true.

The blood on her mirror and on the floor wasn't deniable.

Looking up at these words again she throws up one more time, still crying. She knew it was HER blood and she knew who had taken her.

_The werewolf took Little Red__ Riding Hood from her princess on a full moon night._

All she could do was screaming.

_Full moon took her away._

…………………………………………………………………………………….

**AN**:

Okay, I guess you are all like: "What the hell was she thinking?" after you have read my long promised Chapter 10. But like I said it will be special. I am very sorry and I hope you don't hate me now, but I like it thrilling and I hope you like it too. After you wished for something happening between them and now a big cliff-hanger leading to something bad.

I have never writing anything like this. I also haven't written love scenes so far and if you have some incitation what I should do better, let me know.

As far as I can I will upload again. You know I don't like you too wait ;-) but work is much the last week before school is starting and unfortunately ( even I am looking forward to) I won't be here the whole weekend spending with a friend who is living far away ( some time apart from my home town). So 3 days no upload… But I promise I'll take the time in the bus or in the train, or when she's sleeping at night to write and give you a few uploads when I'm back ;-)

But don't worry about that yet. Maybe I'll find another solution. And I'm really hoping you are not that mad.

Tomorrow is work day I can't be sure but I think no update tomorrow =( But I'm trying my best. You know I do!

All of you are hopefully having a nice day/night!

-Sun


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: **I thought now, because Joey isn't there I could write a little bit in Charlie's point of view. If the changing's of the pov is too much, tell me. I really don't want to confuse you and make the story crazier as it is. =D

Thanks you haven't killed me after what I did last chapter! I'm going to write as fast as my fingers are able to do =D

"Enjoy" the next chapter.

-Sun

**Chapter 11**

_A Nightmare. A Nightmare. Please let it be a nightmare._

When I was opening my red swollen eyes nothing has changed. The voices were still there, the people were still running through my living room, entering my bedroom to see what I had to see. But they never going to know what I felt, what I am feeling.

Voices and nerve racking clicks of the cameras.

Words like "Missing", "Death" or "amount of blood" are spinning around in my head.

I don't want to hear them saying this, because then I really know it's true.

I look around, watching Leah and Ruby who are sitting at the kitchen table, comforting each other.

I was found by them 3 hours ago in the twilight, lying almost unconsciousness in my bedroom. Leah was getting Ruby back from Xavier after they had a big argumentation, because Ruby wasn't able to reach me.

I am sorry for Leah she can't go back to her date,

I am sorry for Ruby to see, to experience something like that. But I am not able to comfort her now. All I can do is starring at the black dress I am holding in my hands.

I want to go in there, to Watson and the other cops, who were called by Leah after they've found me. I want to do something. I need to do anything. But I am not able to see the mess inside my room again. I am not strong enough to see her blood on my mirror and on my floor. All I really want to do is going to search Joey, leave this place and instead haunting the bastard who hurt and took her away from me.

But I know I wouldn't be able to stand up now, I would fall down again. My knees are too weak.

Finally Watson is leaving my room, her vista is full of mercy, for me, the cop who was once hard and strong, who was able to hide her true feelings. Now I am weak and fragile, a shadow of myself, scarred of loosing her, the woman I adore the most; knowing it was my fault.

"Charlie…"

"Don't say something. We are going to find her. She is not death."

My voice is sore, because of all the crying and screaming.

I know Watson knows that I am in love with this girl; it's easy to see I am personally involved.

"I am going to find her and I am going to beat the shit out of her brother." I am saying, finally managing to stay up, grabbing for my keys.

But Watson is holding me back, worried and seriously trying to help me to get Joe back safe.

"Charlie, you know why you are still here instead outside there where your sister and your roommate are sitting? You know why I am still talking to you, talking to Senior Constable Buckton instead of Charlie, one of the victims? You know why I am still giving you information's and tell you what we found out? I'm not doing this because I like you or I feel sorry for you. No, I am doing this because you ARE still a cop and you are working on this case, due to the fact our boss wants you, 'cause you are one of the best cops around here. But you have to act like a cop, not like someone who is personally involved; it'll break your neck. So, please pull yourself together and do the job you are always doing. We need your help to save this girl and bring her back to you." She is smiling supportive and I am nodding. I am thankful Watson said all this.

Yes, I am almost dying at the thought what he could have done to her, thinking of the warning he spoke out 11 years ago and what will happen if we are not able to find her soon.

Yes, I want to hurt myself for not being able to protect her in my own house. How could I not noticing anything?

Yes, I want to cry, and I feel like I need to throw up every single second at the thought she is lost, hurt with her fears are coming back.

Yes, I am scared of how it will be when she is back, old wounds opened up again. Will I be able to heal her this time? But I am more scared of never being able to heal, to touch, to feel, to hear her again.

But Yes, I am a cop and I need my thoughts to be settled. I need to be concentrate and I need to calm down to save her. But I will. I will save her. I won't rest until she's in my arms again.

"We are going back to the office and I am waiting there for you. But first you should talk to your sister and your roommate before you are leaving. They are distracted and they need you too after what they have seen this morning." I am nodding, feeling like I have to carry the weight of the whole world on my shoulders, including my own.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

When I am walking into the room where both of them are sitting my heart was beating faster. I was such an egoistic, not able to see the pain they were going through. They don't know Joey like I do and they haven't spent as half as much time with her like I did. But the time they were joining us was so much fun. I know it isn't hard to love Joey.

And the worse of it they don't know anything about her past, because we thought it would be better not to scare them, not to think Joey is a fragile young woman who doesn't know how it is to live. It was better to keep some secrets. But now they are terrified, not able to think about someone who would actually hurt our sweet Joey like this, and I hate it. I hate that I have to tell them there is someone who likes to see her dead.

It's hard to get these words over my lips.

As soon as I am coming to the kitchen both of them are standing up, Ruby's rushing to my side, hugging me; tears are falling down her face. I try to calm her down, stroking her head and leading her to the chair.

"Charlie, what is going on here? What happened to Joey?" Leah is finally asking, worried.

"It's a long story, but it's nothing easy to take… We haven't told you yet because it's not a 'good-night' – story. But I think you should know what is going on." I am starting, holding my own hand under the table. I know I have to be strong, telling them the story Joey told me once as fast as I can to get out of her, saving the girl I love.

"Everything started 11 years ago…"

…………………………………………………………………………………….

It took 1 hour to tell them what happened, to comfort them, giving instructions to them. I don't want both of them to stay in these walls, because I can't be sure if he is coming back. Instead I'm asking Leah to bring Ruby back to Xavier and asking her date to let her stay until everything's over. I am too scared because now I know no one is save here.

Before I'm going to the office I need to go into my room again to get my uniform. The smell of blood is crawling up to my nose, comforting my whole body and it's a dolor I know she is taken away and all I can do is working like I ever did. But I feel like it's not enough now.

Going to my wardrobe getting my uniform I feel the need to throw up. But this is the first challenge. The first challenge I need to get through to get the rest behind me.

I'm heading to the wardrobe, I'm getting my uniform and I'm leaving my room again, my last vista on these 4 words.

"_Don't say a word."_

…………………………………………………………………………………….

Entering the police station of Summer Bay I am feeling every single police officer watching me and I want them to look away. I want them to behave normal around me. I just want them to do more than ever to save a victim, Joey. I want them to have sleepless nights if that means they will find my girl earlier. But I don't want mercy and I don't want gossip. If they want to talk about my special relationship to her, to a girl, I don't mind, because I know gossip will be there every time. People are like that. But now I want to scream at them, forcing them to work, instead of looking at me.

But as soon as Watson walks down to me I realize it isn't just gossip, it's wonderment. It's like I'm feeling right now, because if I were one of the others, I know I would watch too.

Watson is coming to me, her eyes full of worries. When she is standing right in front of me, she is whispering.

"Here is someone for you. And I am concerned about it…" Is the only thing she is saying, until two people are appearing in the doorway of my office. A man with a black suit, short black hair and tanned and a young woman with long blond hair. Both of them are looking straight at me, their vistas serious and strict.

I don't wait; instead I'm walking to them, forcing them to step into my office, closing the door behind us. A feeling is telling me they are here because of Joey and that's what scares me the most.

"Who are you? Why are you here?" I'm asking them expeditious.

"You are Senior Constable Charlie Buckton?" I am nodding, still scared.

"We are here, because we need to talk to you about something very important." The man is saying.

"WHO are you?" I am asking more intensive.

"I am sorry we are just rushing in here without introducing when we already knowing who you are." The blond woman is saying politely raising her hand.

"My Name is Agent Samantha Conroy and this is my partner Agent Jeffrey Spade."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

„Agents? From the FBI?" I am asking confused. I don't think this happening by accident. What I think is, they are here because of Joey and that's what scares me the most.

"Yes, we are from Sydney." The man is answering, impatiently. He doesn't want to answer. He wants answers. But so I do.

"Why should the FBI come down to Summer Bay?" All I can do is to let them think I don't await or know anything. It's the best way now to get answers.

"You opened up a case this morning which sounds familiar to us and we are going to work on this case now and we want all the things you've found out yet." I can't believe what they are saying. Why this case should look familiar to them? What are they talking about? And the worse is, they want this case and I know I can't do anything against it. They are in a higher position and I am just a cop in a small town.

"No, I won't." I am saying out loud, and I really can't believe what I am saying. It' not what I am usually would do.

"It's an order."

"You know what I give to an order like this?" Okay, that's absolutely not what I would do normally. But things are not normal for me today. Things won't be normal or better until I have Joey back.

"Your boss already knows what is happening. You HAVE to give us everything. If not, you know what will happen, Senior Constable."

"And you know what: It's no skin off my back. I will find this girl and no one else. Believe me NO ONE will be able to take this case away from me."

"It's an order and believe US. We are going to take this case and you can't do anything against it." From now on I don't like this man, but I guess it's not sympathy one way around.

"Would you know what I know you won't give the case to someone else!" And I don't mean just Joey's Story. I mean Love. Our Love.

"Would you know what we know you won't let someone else work on something you have given your life to for almost eleven years." He is raising his voice, but I am standing up straight.

"What do you mean? Eleven years?" A magical number for me.

"You are not the one for asking questions, officer. You are just the middle man to give us the information's we need, understand?" As soon as the words left his mouth, the tiger in me is awake. I am mad at both of them, feeling like I have the need to hit him. But I am pleased the woman is there, reaching out for his arm, trying to calm him down.

"No I am not, Agent Spade. You are having information's I need and I have information's you want. No only the file of the site of crime. I know a lot more about this case. I know the man who did this." I knew it was easy to attract him with this. But I am no lying. It's the truth.

His eyes are getting brighter.

"If this is the truth…"

"It's true… I said… If you would know what I am knowing you wouldn't give the case to someone else. But I see, no one here is giving in, because we both have a history with this and I don't like to mention; but we need each other. So you are working together with me, cooperating or you can leave. Deal or no deal?" It' dangerous to talk to someone like him like that in my position. But I won't give in. I can't give in when it's Joey I am searching for.

"You don't believe I am…" He starts raising his voice again, but the other Agent is disturbing him abruptly.

"Deal…" She is saying to his disfavour, but she doesn't mind.

"Jeffrey, I want to solve this case after eleven years haunting a shadow and maybe she will be able to help. I am not going to miss a chance, even it means we have to trust a police officer and rely on her. I am not going to let another girl die under my eyes."

Another girl? What does she mean? I am scared of what I am going to hear. I am scarred Joey is a part of something more.

"Okay… deal… but you are coming with us…" He is saying, looking straight at me. "In 30 minutes we will go back to Sydney to our bureau and then you will tell us everything you know." It's the last thing he is saying, before leaving my office pissed off. But the woman is still there, looking at me directly.

"I am sorry because of Agent Spade. He is short – tempered if it's about this case. He spent eleven years of his life haunting a shadow and after a while there's another girl missing now. It's burdened for him."

"You… You mean other girls were missing before?" My stomach is hurting.

"Yes. We are haunting a serial killer." Her answer is enough of making me throws up again, but I can't make it to the bathroom, instead I'm throwing up into my little garbage can.

And I can't control myself; I am starting to sob uncontrollable, seeing Joeys face right in front of me.

I am feeling so damn helpless.

Why wasn't I able to protect her?

Why can't I remember anything?

"Oh God…" Agent Conroy is rushing to my side, getting my hair out of my face.

"Everything okay, Senior Constable?"

I am shaking my head.

"Nothing will be ever okay again if I am not able to find her."

"Yes, I know how you feel. I don't want to loose another victim, too."

She doesn't know how should she?

How should she know I am in love with the missing girl?

How should she know the reason why I am fighting so much for this case? No one really knows, but I want to scream it out loud. I want to scream and cry like I did this morning. It's the only thing I can. Screaming when I am feeling so helpless. Instead I'm throwing up once more.

"I don't need a victim to be saved. I need her." I am finally saying desperately, tears are falling down, and now I think she understands, because the next thing she is asking is:" You know her?"

I am nodding slowly; feeling sick.

"I know her, yes. She was kidnapped in my house, in my room, with me at her side."

"You were there?" She's asking out loud and confused.

"Yes…"

"Why haven't you told…?"

"I can't remember." I am saying, wiping off my mouth, sobbing.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't remember anything. I woke up and she wasn't there…"

I am answering honestly looking into her eyes.

"Have you seen a doctor?"

"No." I am answering, knowing what will happen next.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

The two Agents and I are waiting in the small room for the doctor. I don't know what is happening but I feel like I am a part of the evidences; I am a part of the puzzle. But they are not telling me what is going on yet and I am too weak to ask any of them. I know Agent Spade is mad at me because I haven't told something. To be honest, I am mad at me too. I am mad at me, because it seems like everything I am doing is wrong. Like I can't do something to save her. Instead I am waiting her for the doctor the give us the conclusion of the blood sample he has taken from me. And it feels like we were waiting for hours. But suddenly he is opening the door, coming back with a sheet of paper in his hands, his vista concerned.

"What have you found, doctor?" Agent Conroy is asking for me.

"S.C. Buckton, what we have found in your blood was some kind of knockout drug. With this drug you are not able to move but you are full of conscious."

"That's an explanation why I felt so dizzy this morning or why I wasn't able to help. But why can't I remember? If I was full of conscious, why I am not able to remember then?"

" Psychological repression…" Conroy is suddenly saying. "You have been there, you was able to see what happened. But it was something you didn't want to see, so you have just turned it out. It's anywhere stuck in your mind, but because you don't want to remember, you can't." She is saying.

"That's a possibility…" The doctor is mentioning and I feel like I am trapped in another nightmare. Everything is rushing down on me.

Joey's away, kidnapped by her brother who knocked me out with a drug.

I should remember, but I can't because I edged it out.

Two agents are here, talking about a case who took them eleven years.

Eleven years in which Joey spent in the madhouse. Fortuity?

They are talking about other girls.

Joey is away and I am sitting here, wasting my time. Helpless. I am feeling so damn helpless.

My head is spinning and its like they are talking but I am far away and I need to get the control over my body, over my mind.

"She should see another doctor, a psychiatrist, so you would be able to work on her lost memory."

"We don't have time to work, doctor. We need her to remember as soon as possible, you understand?"

"Then… the only possible way to get her memories back is to see a hypnotist."

"Wait… Wait… Wait…" I am finally managing to say. "What is going on here? Why should I see a hypnotist? Why are you talking about eleven years all the time? What is with the other girl you are mentioning? I want answers and I want answers now."

"Doc, could you leave us a moment alone?" Conroy is asking, sighing, waiting to continue until the doctor left the room.

"You want answers? You will get your answers…" She is saying, sitting down on the free chair next to me while Spade is still standing, leaning against the wall. Their vistas are serious and I know it's not going to be a fairytale they are going to tell me.

And I will realize Joey's story is so much more.

……………………………………………………………………………………

**AN**: Thanks to all the reviews. To be honest I think this was the worse chapter of the whole story until now. But the next chapter will give you some explanations. I am trying to upload soon…

-Sun


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Shadows can be weird and awesomely. But they are still shadows. They can't hurt you. Sometimes something strange is happening and the quiet shadows are going to be alive.

They are able to reach you, but for you they are still shadows; you can't reach them.

Hearing the story of the two agents with the knowledge what happened to Joey I can't breathe normal.

Will I ever be able to breathe normal?

Will I ever be able to get over the horrible pictures that are stuck in my head?

I won't. Both will neither Agent Conroy nor Agent Spade and worse, neither will Joey. Shadows are hanging over our heads like clouds, they are capturing us in a strange way, they will never leave, and even we wish they would. They are always there.

And it's hard to listen when I know a shadow has captured Joey.

My Joey.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

When they started to tell me their story I knew it would take time and I knew it would be hard for them to speak about it. Because I know, telling your story to someone makes it even more real and it's even harder to be confronted with it at day, when you can't sleep at night, dreaming of it. I know it. I really do.

"It started eleven years ago when I was at the bureau in Sydney for almost 1 year. I was young, 25 years old and I was half-baked. But with my 25 years I already knew what was going on. I had seen death so many times and I saw litters of blood, a doctor hasn't seen. But I was still optimistic, because I was able to forget about a case at night. I caught the murder and with that, well generally, the dreams stopped.

But after first got confronted with this case never ending dreams started." Tears are welling up in Conroy's eyes. But she is strong, she is not giving in. She is a cop, she is trained and she is doing what most cops are doing, what they are learning very fast: wearing a mask, keeping your feelings deep down. And even I want to show her my comfort, because I know how she is feeling, I am not taking her hand or saying something stupid like "I know what you mean.". Well,I really know it, but it wouldn't help her, and it'd would interrupt her, made her appearing feelings even worse. Then she would know that I know she is weak. It's the worse you can do. Instead I'm letting her talk. That's even more important. For her, for me… for Joey.

"Then on a Friday, October the 12th, Agent Spade and I got first in touch. He was new in our bureau, but he was older with more experience. You know what was the most crazy thing? The day started perfect.

I phoned with my parents, who wanted to visit me the first time in Sydney. At work I've got a new partner who seemed very sympathy from the beginning and I should get a promotion to a higher rank after the god work I have done.

You know, you accept bad things to happen on bad days. But no, it wasn't that way. The werewolf is always coming unaccepted."

"The werewolf?"

"Yes." She is replying, starring straight into my eyes. "We have a lot names for him: 'The shadow', because we can't find him, we can't reach him. 'The invisible unknown', because for us he is invisible, we have nothing. And 'The werewolf', because he is just killing at full moon and he is as aggressive, as a werewolf."

_Full moon, you took her away from me. _

_Full moon, you created this monster._

I am stuck in m thoughts a minute, giving in, thinking of Joey sadly, before I am nodding wanting her to continue.

"When Agent Spade and I first appeared at the scene of crime we never thoughts something bad would happen in a house like this. It was in Rose Bay, a beautiful village and the house was nearly the beach. Rom outside it was wonderful, but from the inside a totally mess. All happened in the living room, which was beautiful… Everything in white, fawn or brown with green palm trees. And there were tons of fresh or already dried blood. But the first thing I noticed when I entered the room was the blood on the window. 4 Words spinning around in my head since then."

"Which words?" I am asking, already knowing the answer.

When she looks at me I know what she is thinking, how she s feeling; like I am the cop asking the victim, her, a few questions. And yes she is one of the victims. Not physically hurt, but mentally. The werewolf destroyed many life's

"Don't say a word." She is swallowing hard.

"And we never understand the meaning of this. 4 words that doesn't make a sense. In every single case these Words appeared, using the blood of the victims. It was his personal sign, beneath how he killed his victims; he wants to show the world it was his deed. It was him.

But what dies he wants to tell us? What shouldn't they say? What I his motive? We weren't able to find a connection to another case. The only thing was how they were looking: brown long hair, slim, circa 1,65 meters long and between 11 and 25 years old."

I am closing my eyes, exactly the description I would give to Joey. Conroy's Story, Joeys story, all is becoming a form.

"How many?" I am just asking, opening my eyes abruptly. How many lives's he has been able to destroy after Joeys?

"14 girls until now."

I can't believe what I am gearing. 14 innocent girls, dead, by the brother of the girl I am in love with.

The werewolf, Brett, a serial killer, Joey in his hands, full moon.

So many words in my head forming a sculpture, drawing a picture.

"How did they get killed?"

"He took 3 days with every victim. He kidnapped them in the first full moon night or stayed at their home. The next nights he used for his torture. On the third full moon night he killed the girl.

We found her the next day, after the last full moon night. We were alarmed every full moon that came, but we searched for nothing, waited for his sign. And you know what he did? How we find out he killed another girl? He sent us pictures of the dead victim and gave us tips where to search. He played with us every time. He played with us eleven years now and we weren't able to get him. No way to follow him, no way to find him.

Different cities, different girls.

Not specified in poor or rich. Their only connection was their looking and their connection to the water: One was a swimmer, one lived near the sea, the other one loved to surf or was interested in wild water rafting.

Because of that we also named him the Water-killer. A lot of names, but we never were able to catch him. And now he has the 15th girl and we don't know anything either. 11 years for nothing, because we are not able to catch him." She is saying desperately and I know how she is feeling.

Once in our life we had the decision to choose a job like others or to become a cop to save lives. We have become cops, but sometimes we are not able to save a life and it's the hardest part to realize sometimes you are just helpless. Even I decided not to tell Joey's story to someone I do it now. I did it a few hours ago and I do it now. I need them to know what I know. I need them to understand, to find the same solution I found and maybe they will be able to save Joey, the 15th girl, this time.

"You know I know the girl." I am finally saying. "And I know the werewolf." Now both of them are moving, calling out a shocked "What?"

"The werewolf is the brother of the girl who is missing. I don't know his face, well maybe I do, but I can't remember. But I know his name. I know his story."

They don't need to say anything. I know what their vistas are saying and so I am continuing, telling Joeys story as it were mine. And in a way, it's my story, too.

"It was a hot Friday down in a small village in the near of Sydney in summer '94, eleven years ago…" I am saying, starting like she started once, wishing she would be here

………………………………………………………………………………........

"Wow…" is the only thing Conroy is managing to say. Spade instead is still standing, looking out of the window. His forehead full of lines.

"You mean this girl spent eleven years in the madhouse to escape her older brother who kidnapped her now? And you mean there is another dead one, their father? He killed his own father?

I am nodding.

"And I think the girls, who were looking a bit like Joey, were killed because he wasn't able to reach her. They look similar, they had a connection to the water like his sister and these 4 Words were meant for Joey."

"That makes sense…"

"And he killed 14 girls in eleven years, in different citys. He wasn't able to reach her, full of anger, and so he searched someone else."

"But why does he want to kill his sister?" Conroy I asking the question I am asking myself all the time.

"Maybe the wrong person spent his life in the madhouse." It's the first thing Spade is saying for a long time. I don't know him for long, but I can see the anger in his eyes and I know exactly what he is thinking: Life isn't fair. Life is a ugly old woman with foul teethes and scarring thoughts, deciding the fate of people random. Life is an awfully dictator.

But I want life to be beautiful. I want Joey to make my life beautiful.

"WE have to compare the 14 citys where the girls have been murdered and the lost girl was staying at the madhouse. I guess it'll be the same cities. Then you are going to see a hypnotic. Maybe you'll remember something important that could be important to find him." I don't mind that Spade is giving the instructions to us, because I know he wants to save Joey as much as I do. He can't loose another girl and I can't loose THIS girl.

And I am sure we will find the werewolf. We are going to be vampires, silent killers, not sleeping and good at what we are doing, catching our biggest enemy. And we won't rest until we have the girl.

Until I have her back.

**AN**: Please review for more. It's very important for me to know what you are thinking...They keep me going. Positive or negative.

I hope you liked this chapter. It is another way that I thought I'd be. But I really hope you like this way.

Tomorrow I'll leave the whole weekend to meet a friend, but I will try to give you some updates the next week. I really don't like to keep you waiting, but I need some time to get out of my village =D I hope you understand. Have a nice weekend!!!!

-Sun


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: **Thanks to all of you for waiting! It means so much to me. I hope you will like the next Chapter. You know I am looking forward for the next few chapters. I'll ab-solut-ely try to update every Chapter as soon as possible. You know I won't stop until you want me to and I love writing this.

Have a nice day and pls don't forget your reviews.

-Sun

**Chapter 14**

6 o'clock. I was on my feet for almost 13 hours now. It feels like an eternity. But I am still going on. Now more then ever.

My life is far from ordinary.

I know that.

It always has been like that.

I know what I was going to do when I was 6 years old after my mother was nearly killed by a thieve and my plans never changed.

I was like a mother for my little sister because dad wasn't able to be a father for his little girls. But I should I accept when he wasn't able to cope with his own life? After he knew about the affairs my mom had he lost himself, and we lost him too. She slept with a lot of men to forget the things that happened to her in our house when my dad spent time with friends instead of staying with her. Maybe that's the reason why she did it; to hurt him, after she got hurt. Maybe she thought it was his fault.

Or she thought she would be able to forget her fear and her normal life by sleeping with completely strangers.

I don't know.

I don't know her at all.

But the craziest thing is, they are still together, too scarred what people would say.

In the eyes of our neighbourhood we were the perfect family. We are still the perfect family.

In my eyes we are broken.

Separated.

The reason I took Ruby with me is that I love her.

I love her to much to let her stay there.

When I was a young girl visiting high school in the younger grades school was a waste of time in my opinion.

After I said that out loud I had to see the head master. All he wanted was my mouth shut. And afterwards I shut it.

I keep my mouth shut, ignored my thoughts, keep going on, doing what they wanted me to do, what everyone excepted from me, but my opinion never changed.

I was happy when I finished school, able to follow my plans and so I became a cop.

And then everything has changed so quickly, not redgrogadely.

Pictures are stuck deep down in my head. Awfully Pictures.

Murder.

In the city. In the village. In the nature.

Everywhere.

Mothers. Brothers. Fathers. Friends. Lovers.

Everyone.

Victims.

Women. Men. Children. Adults. Teachers. Housewives. Workers. Unemployed.

No limits.

Conflictions.

In School. At home. At Work.

Profound and almost insolvable Problems.

Drugs.

Poor. Richs.

In every social class.

Hate.

I have seen so many forms of it.

Anger.

I know how it feels.

I know how it looks like.

Bullying.

Under sisters. Friends. Colleagues.

Hard to control.

Injustice.

Murders are getting out of jail because there isn't enough evidence; even you know they did it.

A man getting only 4 years for raping a little girl.

It's hard to erase. It'll be there. Always.

Blood.

I know how it looks like. I know the smell. And the worse thing is… you get to know how it tastes. It tastes like a hand full of old bronze coins in your mouth.

Every Day. Every Week. Every Month and every year. My whole life. And it's hard to cope with that. You have to be able do something like that. If you are not able, you are lost:: Goodbye! Or should I say: Badbye?!

A long time I was sleeping with different guys, a lot of guys, I met at the disco or in pubs to forget about what I have seen at work. If you are doing such a job, you need something to forget. And this was my way to be someone else. But it wasn't satisfying.

Then I learned how to survive and I knew with rules and regularities I would be able to make it through the days. And yes, I get it all done.

I was good at my job and in a way I needed it.

I can't say I am loving it, it's too ugly, too rude and too hard. But after I have done it, after I helped people, after I kicked the ass of some criminals getting them into jail there is a satisfaction.

Satisfaction. My mind is wandering to this simple word.

Satisfaction…

In my job.

A short moment of satisfaction, the satisfaction of forgetting, when I was sleeping with a stranger.

But it's not what I wanted.

It's not what I needed.

Life-, Love-, -Satisfaction is something my heart screamed for and something I found on simple one day. I lost again in one night.

I was felling so quickly and so madly in love. My love rising unlimited, intentionally. I felt like going crazy when my heart felt like bursting. I wasn't able to cope with this sort of feelings after years living with a cold heart, wearing under my black jacket.

But then, suddenly it heated up quickly, getting warmer each day with her around me. And now it's getting freezing cold again, because of one reason: She isn't here to keep my heart warm. Save it before freezing to death.

She is more then a girl I met once at the madhouse.

She is more then a victim to me. She is more then a file.

More then someone I had mercy with.

She is more then someone I spent a night with to forget my work.

She is the reason I was able to feel again, to be proud of my feelings.

She is the blood floating through my veins.

And I am sitting here waiting for Agent Spade and Conroy to get me to the hypnotic after they got their file from Sydney.

I am sitting here going through Joeys hospital files , hoping to find something and when I am looking at the pictures they made from her once it's like I am looking straight into the eyes of someone else.

Her eyes were so different when she was looking at me and I am scared of what will happen to them now.

Will they be empty, desperate and hurt like back then?

I am scared, so scared, but I can't cry. My eyes are dry like my mouth and I know I need to concentrate, because tears won't help.

But my head hurts and a red pain is pulling up my legs, hurting, and the colour is changing.

I know something bad had been happening when they were entering my office two hours later with a file in their hand and something else in their hands.

I don't wait, nor I waste time with unnecessary and nonsense empty phrases, neither they want to.

"What is this?" I am asking unhesitatingly, feeling my stomach starting to rebel.

I am going insane because of the weight on my shoulders, the scare, the pain, the thoughts of might loose her and my body isn't helping.

My head is hurting, my body is outworn, and my feet don't want to carry me any longer.

I am weak.

My body is weak. My thoughts are.

And I know there won't be any good news for me.

"We've gotten something down In Sydney." They don't need to tell me from whom. There is only one solution.

"But it's for you." She is handing me a small brown envelop with my Name printed on it. It's waiting for me to open it, knowing what I will find.

But I am opening it to make sure. As a cop there is no jump to conclusions.

With shaking fingers I am opening the envelope on the backside, letting them glide into to feel the smooth surface.

Pictures.

"_And you know what he did? How we find out he killed another girl? He sent us pictures of the dead victim and gave us tips where to search. __He played with us every time_."

No. No. No.

It can't be. No, that can't be the truth.

It has to be a dream. A nightmare.

That's what I am telling myself the whole time, just to realize it's really true. I won't wake up, dreaming, sweating, crying, terrified, but with Joey in my arms. It's real… It's real…

It's…

It's enough to look at one of the pictures to make me wanna throw up. And that's what I am doing, letting the photographs touching the ground while I am leaving my office as fast as possible.

Early enough I am at the girls' bathroom in front of the loo throwing up.

Once. I am feeling so sick.

Twice. My mouth is feeling strange.

A third time.

_Swallowing lips. Effusions of blood in the face._

_Blood. Blood everywhere._

It's enough to forget my hard cop image.

Instead I am doing something only people are doing who love and who are afraid.

And I love. And I am afraid.

I am sinking on my knees, grabbing a hold onto the loo, throwing up again. A last time, sobbing and crying, shaking uncontrollable, almost screaming.

A pink pain is crawling up my back, its fingers pulling itself nearer, grapping my head. Strong fingers, pulling every inch of my face.

It's blinking like a neon sign, painfully, right behind my eyeball causing more pain.

I don't want to be able to see, if it means I will never be able to forget these pictures.

I don't want to be able to see when I am not able to see her again.

And I am crying.

It's all I can do now.

When my head was full of sorrow and I was still sitting beneath the loo, waiting for my qualm to rise again, I thought about giving in. Yes, I am ashamed of myself, but people are having a disposition to giving up, instead of fighting when life is hard. And I am like that now. I stopped being a robot, now starting being a human, after Joey rushed into my life.

The same time I am thinking about how happy she made me so fast I also have to think about the picture I have seen just a couple minutes ago. Now… again… sobbing… dying… mentally.

It's a voice, loud and strong, forcing me to breath.

"Senior Constable?" Conroy is asking, her hand touching my shoulder slightly.

"Leave me alone…" I am answering behaving like a child after a big discussion with the parents hiding in the room.

I wanted to be untroubled.

Mad at everyone. But mostly mad at myself for letting Brett take her, for giving in, for just thinking about giving up, for crying instead of searching.

But I am damaged and I've paid enough, and now I want to let anyone else pay for my pain and Conroy is the only one there.

But she is very resistance.

"No, I won't. We need you out there, S.C. Buckton. You are the only one really knowing her. Nothing is done. It's not the end, but it might be if we don't give our best."

"Haven't you seen the pictures? Haven't you seen what he has done to her?" I am yelling at her, feeling sorry at the same time I did. Surely she has seen it, she isn't stupid. She knows what it means. Yes, she knows what's going on. She has seen this so many times.

But now I am not a cop or a colleague. I am a dependant.

"Have you seen her wounds? Her eyes?" I am saying now calmer, but still terrified. "He damaged her once again. He beat the shit out of her and I am sure he won't stop until she her dead body is laying in front of him! And what are we doing? Nothing! Tomorrow night everything will be over and we won't be able to find her!" As soon as I said this, my right cheek is hurting intentionally, feeling hot like 100 needles are stuck in my rosy flesh.

She slapped me, once, but with an indescribably strength. She really needed to get me back to reality, away from the entire self – pity, back to my fighting – mode.

Her eyes are saying sorry, her mouth is telling different things. She knows it was necessary and I know it too.

"Calm down! She isn't dead, he just wants so bother us, like he did in the past. But this time it's so much more. He knows we know the truth. Maybe he knows what you know about him. Because of this he sent the pictures to you. But this isn't the way it's going and this will first end if you are giving up. You won't get her back with lying down and crying. We need to see the hypnotic to bring your lost memories back and that might save the girl."

I know she is right. A crying self – pity cop won't help Joey. I need to put myself together to save her. But a few tears are falling, I can't do anything then feeling sorry, ashamed o myself and broken.

Conroy is calming down, her voice is soft und she is looking down at me while I am looking away. I can't believe I needed someone else to wrap me up. It's a shame. But I know this will stay a secret.

I first look at her again as I am hearing her question. Even it was more a statement.

"You are in love with the girl, aren't you?" She is saying her eyes full of mercy and insight.

"How?"

"A blind would be able to see. He would feel the love you are feeling for her, it's surrounding you. Wherever you go."

I am looking away again. How much I wish Joey would be able to feel my love for her. Someday. Very soon, she will, I am telling myself and I am almost smiling at the thought of her smile, holding her again, kissing her, watching her, comforting her.

"We will find her. We will bring your girlfriend back."

Butterflies are rising, a strange feeling now, a beautiful feeling in general. A beautiful strange feeling magnifying in my stomach.

My girlfriend.

Almost I corrected her. Joey isn't my girlfriend. Yet.

But I want her to be. I want her to call her mine. I want to be a part of her. I want her to be a part of me.

It's strange to think to think about someone like I do about Joey, when I know her just a few days under these circumstances. But sometimes you just know if something feels right. And then there is something else you realize it just feels perfect.

It felt perfect, I am correcting myself desperately.

It will feel perfect again, the optimistic in me is responding.

"Come on, We are going to save your girlfriend now." The first time I see her smile and it remind me ho my mother once smiled at me when I was a young girl when I was down.

Insightfully, loving, arrogating and calming.

The first time after Joey I really feel rescued, knowing what to do next.

"Saving my girl." I am replying, drying my tears, grabbing her hand to find a hold to stand up.

I am taking a step,

And another step forward,

Following the big and ugly werewolf.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

When I was a young girl, 5 years old, 1 week before my 6th Birthday, still in kinder garden my Dad sent me to Dr. Gardner; the best psychiatrist for children around our old hometown. He sent me there because I was used to play with the boys instead seeing other girls, coming home with wounds and dirt on my clothes. I was his beautiful little girl acting like a boy and one day he got even called by our educator. It was very disagreeable to go there, justifying his daughter who fights with the other boys.

I was different, not like the other girls, I was tall, I had no tits and my name was Charlie. For the boys I was one of them and I really was one of them after I slapped a big boy named Brady in the face, the boss of the 'gang' of our kinder garden, after he called me a girlie – girl. What cheekiness! It was my right to show him how it's going!

Well dad wasn't that pleasured. He was angry, disappointed and terrified that he sent me straight to Dr. Gardner. And he accepted her to do something against it, but instead she found it very funny, listening to my stories. She didn't see a reason for me to get treated. After a few appointments my dad didn't want me to see her again.

Back then when I was 5, entering a place like this, sitting on a chair or lying on the couch, talking and talking the whole time I felt really strange.

I can remember the tidiness, the details, the flowers and plants and the atmosphere. They are doing this, all this kind of "Silence, Power & Rest" – stuff to let you feel save and comfortable. But now I don't feel save. I don't feel restful or comfortable.

Instead I am feeling thrilled, mentally shivering. Instead of saying something they are looking at me, Dr. Byle through his black horn-rimmed glasses. After we first met the old black – hair with the green eyes we were shaking hands, thanking him for coming here for us on his free weekend, then he pleased us to come in, pleased me to sit down on the "couch" while Conroy and Spade were sitting on the chairs aside.

"So…" He is saying, keep looking at me and I feel reminded of my sessions with Dr. Gardner. Not just the bookshelves, the colours and the flowers are similar; it's the same silence at the beginning. All I want to do is remember the things that happened to Joey and me. But instead I am just waiting, hoping there would be something else then a small "So…"

As if he could read my mind he is starting to speak and a few minutes ago I am lying on the brown "couch", closing my eyes like he wanted me to.

I am listening to his dark and strong voice, following his introductions and suddenly, just a few minutes after, I am finally drifting away, lying in my bed, but still hearing his questions, answering him, hearing my own voice repeating in my head. It's far far away.

"_Where are you, Charlie?"_

It's the last thing I am hearing before I am getting a real part of my nightmare, remembering anything like it is happening now. And I'm telling the story of this single night, changing everything.

"_I am lying in my bed with Joey at my side. She is resting her head on my shoulder, I am putting my arms around her body… And she is…"_

"_What is she?"_

"_She is smiling…"_

……………………………………………………………………………………_._

**AN: **

**Dear lovely Readers,**

**A Shame to give you such a short Chapter and I promise it will be the only one (this short) in the whole story, but to be honest I was separating the Chapters wrong. I thought about this still being a part of Chapter 14. But then I wasn't sure of being able to go on with this part before I have to work tomorrow and getting a lot of school things done until Sunday night and I really didn't want to let you wait another week for a new chapter just because of a few lines. Now my next problem is: Will I be able to continue until Monday? So I thought about giving you this to make it a little bit more exiting and writing another long Chapter 16 then. I will continue as fast as I can and I hope you are not mad at me because of the separation mistake. **

**Have a nice weekend and please review, you know how much I love to hear your opinion. Your opinions are very important to me, no matter what you are saying.**

**L****ove,**

**-Sun**


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: **I am so sorry for you waiting so long for another part: But unfortunately it'll stay like that… School is beginning, work and so on. But I'll do my best to upload each week one or two chapters. But this week it's damn difficult because of all the birthdays and today I am celebrating my 18. Birthday after 4 Days waiting… But I not going to do a party without giving you another Chapter before.

Have fun reading and please don't forget my reviews!!!

**AN2: **I don't know why but I wasn't able to get this Chapter online. It took me 3 days waiting. Hopefully i am able to do it now! I have many ideas to continue and I'll go on as fast as I can. But school is very pressing. But I love to write this and I love you, my waiting and loyality and patient readers!! =)

- Sun

……………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter 16**

Holding the person you are falling for is the most incredible thing in the world. With a kiss you are showing a lot of things: attraction, lust, love, gravity, wanting, pure and hot desire. But holing each other is tenderness, sweetness and comforting. Smelling, touching, and holding each other tight without having sex is another intimate part. It's like heaven on earth and in my opinion at night, while you are holding each other it's the moment you absolutely realize if it's the right person at your side or not. You see if it's fitting. And this thing with Joey is fitting so perfectly. She is my perfect match, because even we are lying aside, our bodies are still touching. I realize it's an urgent need to be connected, to be close to another.

And now she is lying in my arms, I am smelling her sense, wanting to touch her so badly but still never wanting to change this position, stroking her hair, caressing and stroking her arm, suddenly feeling Goosebumps under my finger.

As stupid as I am I thought about her freezing, not used to have such affection to another person.

"Joey? Are you still awake?"

I am whispering.

"Hm – hm…" She is mumbling, her eyes closed, her voice tired.

"Are you cold?"

"No…"

"Should I get you something to blanket?" I am asking completely ignoring her answer, wanting her to feel good and comfortable in my arms. Not excepting she is already feeling well.

"Well wait, I will get up and get you a blanket! Just Wait a -"

"Charlie, Stop!" She is saying out loud, opening her eyes.

"Everything's perfect. I feel fine."

"You are not freezing?"

"No Charlie… It's because of you…"

She is saying, looking at me, straight into my eyes, and I am impressed how much love is still in there after what happened to her. It's my love reflecting.

She was captured for so long, forced to stay behind save walls because of her fears, but I feel like she is so much wiser than I am, even I was the one spending 11 years in freedom, able to experience.

"That' what YOU are doing to me, you idiot. How can I not feel fine here in your arms? It's like my dream is coming true. I am finally free! And something happened I never except to happen to me… and this was you, Charlie… it was you…" She is repeating, her finger touching my face, sliding over my lips before pulling me nearer with her hand around my neck.

She is kissing me, her mouth open, but our tongues not touching. It's a sensual game, a game our lips are playing; touching each other until she is biting my upper lip with her teethes. I can't do anything, I just hope she never stops and finally I am moaning into her mouth as I am feeling her crawling up, lying onto m body, her legs beneath my belly, her fingers searching a way down my length, caressing every part with love and affection, stopping on my hips, stroking my inner thigh, forcing me to groan again.

"Oh god… What are you doing to me?" I am whispering, when we are just separate to breath, my voice are sounding so strange.

Maybe it's because I am so thrilled by her touch.

Maybe it's because I am heating up.

Maybe it's because I've never felt this way with somebody.

Maybe it's because the love is growing so fast between us.

Maybe.

Maybe it's just because I want her so much.

"I am doing nothing, and everything. I love. I love every part of you. I am doing what I want and what I want is you."

I am looking into her Dark eyes, and one single tear is escaping my eyes which Joey is kissing away so soft I want to cry. Cry because of happiness and desire. And suddenly I am feeling her hand inside my pants, touching me where I need, where I want to be touched by her. There was no big foreplay and even I loved it earlier to touch her before we really have sex I also need her so much right now its okay to develop something new.

She is rubbing my sensitive nub with so much passion and wanting a fire is starting to burn inside of me. A fire she set free.

She is kissing me, starting to move her fingers with more strength and faster, and she is so good at what she is doing.

"You are so wet…"

Her Voice is driving me crazy.

"I adore you…"

SHE is driving me crazy.

Her fingers, her mouth, her body pressed on mine are too much now. I don't want this to stop, but I also can't wait to feel her. It's like an urgent need.

"I… I need… you…"

I am breathing heavily and I need to concentrate to say the right words instead of moaning.

"I need to feel you… inside of me…" Is all I can say and she is kissing my lips so soft I am almost not able to feel her and then, finally, she is entering me so quickly, slipping inside of me I am gasping, trying to catch my breath, can't believe what she is doing with me. How she is able to make me feel. It's not just sexual desire, we are making Love. It's a heart desire.

"Oh God…. Jo…"

The pleasure is building up inside of me with her so close, her hips moving and her lips kissing me hard and our moans are becoming one, our hearts, our souls, our bodies becoming one at the same time and when I feel her calling my name out loud, gasping, sighing, I feel like I am drifting away with her in my arms.

"Oh God… I… I love what you do to me…"

I am finally saying, feeling her still inside of me, not wanting her to move, her body rested on mine.

"I love what you do to me…" She is replying, smiling, and capturing my lips in another kiss, before she is lying down beside me, waiting for me to hold her. It doesn't take long for her to fall asleep again.

But just before I am closing my eyes I am looking out of the window like each night before drifting away, watching the moon now. It's smiling.

Joey is smiling. I am smiling. I can't be happier, but then I realize the moon is grinning.

It's an evil grin.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

I am not waking up because of the noises. To be honest I woke up because I wasn't able to feel her weight on my body. I couldn't feel her right leg over mine or her arm around my upper part of my body.

I couldn't, I don't… my head is hurting… I don't… no I can't feel her head lying on my shoulder or her breath caressing my neck.

Maybe she is getting something to drink?

Maybe she can't sleep?

Maybe she is in the bathroom?

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

So many Maybes when I already know something is going on. Something wrong is happening.

There are voices, but I can't say how many. I just want to open my eyes, but I can't… I couldn't… past is feeling so real, is getting my present…

I can't open my eyes.

My head is hurting, my eyesight feeling so heavy and my mouth is dry.

Joey… Jo…

My head is screaming.

**JOEY!**

Again and again.

_**Joey**_**!**

Again…

_**JOEY? WHERE ARE YOU?**_

And

_**JO! JO!? What happened?**_

Again….

_**JOEY!!!**_

I am slowly opening my eyes with my whole body feeling strange and I m seeing things I wish I would never have to see.

His big fingers looking like the paws of a werewolf, spinning around her neck, so strong and ugly it seems like he is breaking her neck within seconds. He is grinning wildly, while Joey is trying to plead for mercy, for her brother's mercy and for his love. Even she knows there isn't any love in his eyes, but she wishes for. She wishes there would be anything like love between brothers and sisters, but there was hast hate.

I am screaming loud, but nothing is coming out of my mouth.

It's like I am dub, and I can't move, I can't see clearly, I can't cry, I can't shiver, I can't… I can' do anything.

And then, finally he is realizing I'm there. I am awake.

"Oh she isn't sleeping anymore! How was your night?" He is saying politely with his strong and his corny voice.

Through the darkness I can see the sweat in his forehead and the hate, the anticipation in his eyes. I can see the lust and the anger and I can see the blood on his hands.

No… No… No….

My mind is racing calling out her Name. All I want to do is hurting him so badly, but I can't move. My body is stiff as a poker. It's…

"It's nice to meet you, Charlie! I've heard a lot about you, or have you heard a lot about me?? Oh I am sorry I haven't introducing myself when this is something really important! Joey's brother meeting Joey's girlfriend. My Name is Brett. But I guess you know who I am, you know my name. I also guess Joey told you a lot about me. I really hope nothing bad! I wish I could shake your hands, we are seeing each other the first time, I know it's very impolitely not to do, but you see my hands are full!" He is laughing, and now, after all this years working as a cop, being confronted with monsters. Now I know how the devil has to laugh.

Let her go, Let me go… Let us…

Please, Please! I won't tell one single soul! She will never tell.

No… No… Joey… Please….

My head is spinning; my thoughts are spinning around in my head, never leaving my mouth.

Joey won't hear anything. Nothing.

She won't hear the words:" I love you. I really do. I will save you. I will never leave you. I will get you back. Please, hang in there… I will!"

I want to SCREAM. The sound is stuck behind my throat, it's already hurting.

I NEED TO SCREAM. HELP! HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!

But he rather hears my screaming. Instead he is letting Joey fall to the ground, her head collecting the ground, while he is coming to my bed.

I am starring at his bloody hands, terrified.

HELP! HELP! NO!

A part of me still think somebody has to be able to hear me, any ears I will be able to reach. An illusion.

Nobody will save us. Will save her.

"Oh?! Are you looking at my hands? Don't worry, it's nothing just poor Joey hitting her head badly while she tried to defend her. She never was able to do… Stupid girl!"

He is raising his hands up to my check, Joey's blood on my body, on my soul.

I am screaming. I can't stop.

"She was, she still is and she ever will. She shouldn't have told you. She should has stayed there, you know? I told her once she shouldn't tell! I warned her! You see it isn't my fault what happened. She made me do it! I told her once and know its my right to punish her now! She has to be punished, you know? That' the way it's going. That's the way it is. It always has been." He is kissing my lips and all I can do is screaming, a silent scream, feeling the need to throw up. But I can't.

"I know you are a cop. I have seen you at the madhouse. I know you two had sex. I have seen you at the beach. And you know what I know, too? I know you will try to follow me, but you won't find anything. You want to save her, but you won't. What is in the family will stay in the family, right? Well to be honest, you would be a sweet couple, but you understand that I have to judge her. That does justify. Too sad she told you. Too sad she trusted you and know she will die. Isn't that a shame? Isn't it ironic, all you want to do is to save her, but in a way it's your fault too… Oh wait, see, she is waking up! I guess we should leave before the sun is rising! Hopefully not going to see you soon!"

He is grinning while I am feeling a small tear leaving my eyes. The skin is burning where he touched me. "Goodnight!" He is saying, and my eyes are searching for Joey. But his fists crushing my face.

And while I am drifting away I am calling. I am calling her Name until my world turns black.


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: **Thanks to everyone being so nice giving me a review and still reading my story. I hope you still like it how it's going on. I am doing my best, ya know and I still love writing this story! I will keep on going and going and going on, until you want me to stop! Looking forward to your reviews!

I will separate this Chapter in 2 parts, because it would be to long and you all would have to wait another one or two days. So just you know this Chapter is going on in Chapter 18. And please don't hate me…

Love,

Sun

…………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter 17**

I can't open my eyes again, stuck in the middle of nowhere, stuck in a nightmare, screaming until my lungs are hurting and my body is burning. Feeling hot and cold at the same time, I am calling for her, screaming her Name so desperately. I am not able to hear something else except of her voice, but then, finally other voices intermingling with mine. I feel hands on my cheek and hands on my arms.

"Wake up. You need to open your eyes. You need to come back - now!"

But I don't want to leave. I can still see her and I want to save her more than everything. She isn't gone yet and I know I can save her now. Now I can… I just have to stay. All I need is to stay. I need to save her.

I need to move. I can't let her on her own.

I feel hands on my body, trying to calm me down when my arms are trying to fight them.

I recognize a strong voice. It's Dr. Byle speaking to me, when I need her speaking to me.

But his voice is like a magnet, I am following his introductions, unmeant.

And then I am finally back in this ugly tidy room with Spade, Conroy and Dr. Byle, still screaming, it feels like I won't ever be able to speak again or breath normally. The memories I've tried to forget were coming back with one bash. I tried to force this out, but they are back and I am not able to forget anymore.

They are looking at me, terrified and worried, while I am still furious, gasping wildly.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

"Buckton! Wait!" Both of them are yelling after me after I rushed out of the room without a warning. I have to go through the file they brought from Sydney. I also need to work through the old file and then, maybe I'll find more out about Brett. It's my only chance to save her, what else could I do? They know something I could do, but I won't. I just can't. I guess they just don't realize how important and necessary it is to find Joey. For them Joey is another girl, just another victim of many. In a way I understand them. I know how it is to save someone you have never seen in your life. You HAVE to save the victim. You just have to. But it's such a difference now. For me it's so much more to save her.

"You need to sleep, Charlie…" It's Conroy calling after me and it's not typical to call each other by the first name, but cases like this is a connection between every one of us.

"You need to rest and find some peace. You can't find her over-worked! Charlie, you are up for more than 18 hours and you won't help her in the state you are in." Her words sounding right - minded to me, but to be honest I am not right – minded now.

I won't stop until I've found her. It was my promise I've given to myself and I won't break.

I won't because I can't.

Leaving his practice, getting into my car, my mind is already on the file.

I am driving back to my office.

……………………………………………………………………………………

Opening the file it was like I could see into the future. There were visions and my stomach was playing a different kind of game, no game to my pleasure. These visions were creating by the picture I am looking at intensively, by the details I am reading. I know what he is going to do to her and I also know it will be even worse and the worse thing is I know it, but I can't do anything against it.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

(**AN**: Against all the confusion; I will change into 3 rd person narrator again because it isn't Charlie who plays a real part in the next part now. As soon as Joey is coming back I will go back to 3 rd person narrator again like I did the whole time before.)

"_Body is full of not healing wounds and effusions of blood, probably caused by hard beats and samples on the neck which leads to suffocation.__ Suffocation not meant to kill and it wasn't the cause of her death. It was meant to torture." Charlie read out loud rubbing her temple._

When she woke up she wasn't able to see anything. Black. Everywhere. Only a million small and bright blinking stars in front of her eyes were jumping heavily up and down. Questions were rushing through her mind like on a teletype machine. But mostly she asked herself why her head was hurting like hell. Rising her hand up to her back of her head where the pain was coming from she felt something wet, smelling and tasting it was her own blood she had on her fingers. How did this happen? Why she felt so dizzy? Why she felt so strange with her rips, her belly and her head hurting?

The pain seemed to vanish her memories because all she was able to remember was a voice, a face, how she smelled and how she tasted, how she felt. All she was able to remember was…

"Charlie…." She managed to say, recognizing how strange her own voice sounded. It sounded like in…

She touched the ground, on which she was lying, she doesn't know how long, felt the earth and something wet again.

Where the hell she was? Where was Charlie?

"Charlie…?" She was speaking out louder, repeating it until her voice was strong and clear again, and suddenly footsteps were reaching her ears and a sound of an old wooden staircase she knew from her old house where she spent her childhood. No, she would never be able to forget this sound. She always uses the cellar to hide from her brother, walking down these wooden staircase as noiseless as possible, hoping he wouldn't hear her, hoping he wouldn't find her, hoping he wouldn't beat the shit out of her again.

The footsteps were getting louder which each step –

Maybe she was sleepwalking again, stumbled, falling down and hurting her head unfortunately? Not that she wasn't used to that. She has often spent nights walking around while she was dreaming, falling down and hurting herself. So this conclusion wasn't that abstract. It could have been like that, and this had to be Charlie, freeing her.

The old wooden door opened slowly and the sudden bright light was hurting her eyes she had to rose her hands, trying to see something else than light and a big shadow in front of her.

"Charlie?" She said out loud again, slowly getting used to the light looking around and trying to recognize anything.

And she recognized every thing.

"No… No…"

The old wooden shelve her dad and she built together once, with all the hand tools on it or the old wooden chests on the ground not far away from her. Everything were standing and lying how it laid there eleven years ago.

"No… please god… no…" Looking up, straight at the wooden door she also recognized the person standing there. How could she forget the evil, after he spent his whole life watching over her?

"Yes, sis, yes."

Hearing his voice all the memories rushed back in one second and bashed her like his fists, thousand and thousand times again. But the realization bashed her even more: He captured her.

After 11 years hoping, wishing and hiding he finally got her.

"Are you not happy to see your brother again after spending so many years apart?" A grin on his face revealing his ugly teethes. Her mind was racing. What could she do? Nothing, she already knew the answer. Nothing at all.

"Help!!! Please, help!!!" She screamed, knowing which consequence this would have, but she won't give up without fighting, suddenly feeling his fist rushing down on her face, shutting her mouth intentionally, filling it with blood instead. And his fists don't stop rushing down on her body. It felt like a eternity until he stopped hitting her, now preferring to speak.

"I told you Joey. Don't say a word. But I guess you will never learn." Then he left her. Left her in the darkness.

"_One bullet wound in the right shoulder."_

Hours has gone by while she lay there tears leaving her eyes, intermingled with her blood on the ground. She didn't know how long she was laying there but it felt like somebody cut each hour down in her body hundred times. And these cuts revealing her pain.

She didn't want to hope. She didn't want to wish and think about something good to happen, because every time she did, nothing was happening or she get disappointed, more hurt than without hoping, thinking, wishing.

But she wasn't able to control herself now. She wasn't able to not hope. Charlie would save her. Thinking about the woman she loved, wishing she could lay down in her arms, able to forget all the pain and drown in their love, instead of drowning in her tears and in her blood.

What Charlie did to her in one week was hardly to describe. The hours they spent together felt like ages and when Charlie tried to give her back her old memories felt more like a year to her than one single week. Another tear escaped her eyes and she tried to capture it with her fingerprints, trying to erase it quickly. She wouldn't give in. She just can't for herself and for Charlie.

_She always believed in you. She thought you are strong__. You can't give up. You can't give up now. You can't give up yet._

Joey told herself over and over again until she completely believed in these sentences, but no one could know what was going to happen.

The door was opening again, filling the room with light and presenting the evil.

"Hello Joey."

She hated his voice. She always did and she knew it won't ever change.

Just looking at her, at his bleeding and broke sister he knew he was the right to judge her, he has done good work and he will continue with it. In his world it was his necessity to judge people like her. To free the world of people like them. In his mind he was a bad guy doing a good thing. He was good in torturing and judging. God would thank him one day, freeing the world from her. From the others.

God and the other one, HE, would be proud.

Minutes went by and none of them talked. Joey was lying on the ground and Brett was still standing there his hands behind his back.

"You know why I killed dad?"

His question came quick like a shot in the back, and unexpected like a surprising test in school, but it was more serious, it was more dangerous.

"What do you want, Brett?" Joey managed to say with her voice sounding stronger than her body really felt.

"I want a simple answer, Jo. Just one single answer. Is that too much to ask for?"

He looked at her intentionally, waiting and she knew he wouldn't go away until she answered. She preferred staying in this old room, in the darkness, waiting for Charlie, instead of being able to see something. Because he brought the light. The light always came with him and so did the devastation and the pain.

"You hated him, because it was his fault Mommy left you…"

He was playing with her, Joey also knew that. The question and her answer wouldn't help her anyhow, but it was something, a part of his plan. It was a part of the sick world he lived in. Her answer brought him satisfaction.

"Right! That's one point, Joey! Good girl! Continue… Continue!!"

"You thought he is just a sick bastard, not important enough to life who was a drinker his whole life…"

"I see you know where we are going… Bravo!"

"You thought he was a bad father to you…"

"Hundred percent Joey! But you know that are just a few points. I just don't hate him because he drunk, he was the one because Mom left or because he was more than a bad father when he gave all his love to his little girl, sending his son into the world without any help. This sick bastard destroyed my life! You can see it isn't my fault! It never was. All I did was because of dad!! You see what a destroyed childhood made to a young boy… You know why I shot him twice instead of killing him with one dead shot? Oh these were many points why I killed him this way and there are also many points why I will kill you, like hate or anger. But no, there's one more reason… The real reason was and is…"

Joey looked at him, fear slowly crawling up her back and capturing her whole body and her mind completely, when she suddenly saw the black object in his hands and she knew what it was. It wasn't just a gun, it was the devils instrument made by human hands. But it wasn't just the gun, no, it was the expression in his eyes she recognized. 11 years ago she has been frightened by this and now it had the same affection on her.

Again, she wasn't able to do something.

Again, she was just looking, hoping, wishing.

A small whisper with a strong voice, a gun shot and a red haze around her body.

"… I wanted to hear him scream."

And then the bullet entered her body and a loud painful scream filled the space between them.

**To be continued…**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

„_Samples of alcohol at the crime scene."_

„You are still alive." A voice said, talked to her like nothing happened while she was lying on the ground, almost unconsciousness, but listening to his voice, listening to her slow breath.

Her body ached and a wound almost as large as a golf ball in her shoulder burned like hell. She couldn't concentrate, she wasn't able to stand up, all she could do was listen to his voice and listen to her pain, feeling her own words rushing down on her body whispering a silent "You will die soon." And nothing made sense.

She let him touch her, stroking her face and her hair like stroking the coat of a dog.

"You know why I did that? You know why you are still alive? Not because I had mercy… Noo." He laughed furiously.

"It's good to torture somebody, don't you think? It's causing unlimited pain, and slowly you will bleed out, you will cry, you feel pain, you will ask for mercy and you know you will die. Your body is going to be weak; you will try to fight against the need to sleep because maybe you will never wake up again. And then when you think you will die because of all this pain you realize you won't die because of that. You will die because I killed you first… Isn't it such wastefully? But that what's torture is. I don't want you to die yet; we both are not ready for this part. But in my plan, we both have to die. Unfortunately we have. Do you know why? Someone told me our dad is bad… and I realized it very fast. That's why I killed him. But I wasn't thinking about the both of us. I thought the evil has gone, but his blood is IN both of us! We both have the evil in us, Joey! Oh Joey, I tried to give you a chance.

Joey. Joey. Joey… I gave you the chance to be a good girl. To clean, to separate your blood from mine. But you showed me the contrary. We both don't deserve to live. We both are murders. I killed bodies and you killed souls. We are liar. We are living against gods will. I cleaned the world of young girls, of bad girl and I won't stop until I've judged you, because of your dad. His blood is our blood. And we have to pay… you have to pay… torture is the key, you know?"

She couldn't hardly breathe, all she heard sound so crazy to her. Nothing made sense of what she was hearing. She knew her dad had done things wrong. But he wasn't the evil? WHO told her brother these things? Who made him think that and who made him think both of them had his evil blood in their body?

"What have you done Brett? What have you done?" She cried out.

"I saw them… every one of them…" he laughed. " You know what? They really remind me of you! And every one of them was a bitch. They all were liar, cheater… They all acted like that. I saw them, I watched them, I tortured them, and they paid. He told me it was the right thing to do and I realized it really is. It's vengeance. And you are my coronation."

"You are sick… You are a sick bastard." She whispered, her eyes filled with tears, but he just answered with his laugh.

"No I am not. You know what's really sick? I will try to get your body used to hell. Your body will burn." He answered and until she realized what he really meant the alcohol touched her body quickly and she screamed furiously while every part of her body squirmed and writhed with pain.

The pain overwhelmed her completely. Even her voice was only a whisper as she tried to scream for help. Joey wished her connection to Charlie would be strong enough to guide her to her old house in the cellar where she was waiting until Brett would appear again, torturing her, telling her all his reasons she didn't understand. All she could do was waiting and there was only her hope to survive. But how could she hope and believe when the pain was too much to take? She wished she could die.

The first time she really hoped she could die to forget all the sorrow, to forget all the pain and leave everything behind.

But then there was something giving her the strength to believe in life. It was her giving her the want to survive and like never before in her entire life she wanted to live. She needed to live to love her. To see, to feel, to taste, to smell and to love Charlie again. She smiled as she thought of Charlie. Only she had the ability to make her laugh, smile and feel happy again. Her whole life lay in her hands.

"You own my heart." She has whispered into Charlie's ears, kissing her neck softly while her beautiful lover slept, but recognizing the smile on her face, knowing she heard every word she said. And she repeated it, over and over again, kissing down her jawline, reaching her breast, kissing it softly and as she was rubbing Charlie's nipple she felt the erecting of the brunette and heard her gasp. She loved to hear her moan, she loved to touch her like she hasn't loved anything before and she made love to her 4 times on this evening, in this night, before he has captured her.

And thinking about her was the only joy she had left.

The only moments she was able to forget all her pain, if it wasn't for Brett. But as he came into the cellar, she was almost drifting away. Sleep. All she needed to do was rest. Too much pain, too much pressure, too much tears and too much screams has damaged her body completely.

She didn't try to escape as he took her, slang her body around his shoulders to take her out of the house.

"We are going to make a little trip, Joey. It isn't save here anymore, you know?" His voice wasn't able to reach her ears completely, but she knew what was going to happen. The end was near. At she looked back a last time it was like she was seeing something.

Someone.

A shadow right behind her, watching her intentionally, grinning.

A hallucination, she told herself closing her eyes.

Death was coming.

Death was going to get her.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

She drank her fourth coffee to be able to stay awake when her body and her eyes felt so tired and she needed to rest. But she just couldn't when she knew every minute was important. Only this night and the next day and then the final night would come. She only had a small amount of hours to find her and she won't waste her time with sleeping.

Her eyes were burning and she rubbed them with her fingers until they felt strange and swollen, until she saw neon yellow circles her mother always called yellow star pineapple. She yawned and tried to concentrate on the file, the letters playing a game, jumping from one side to the other like they were trying to annoy her.

Suddenly she heard a sound in the doorway jumping up, her hand already on her gun, her body thrilled by excitement; ever nerve was strained until she realized who was standing there.

"Ruby! What are you doing her?" She asked confused, her gun still holding in her hand.

"I should better ask: What are you doing her, Charlz? And could you please lower the gun!!" Her younger sounded like her mother once, made her do what she asked for quickly, excusing.

"I have to work like you may have realized." The cop replied taking a seat in her chair again.

"It's 3 a.m.! You need to rest!!!"

"And you shouldn't be here at all! How you came here? Does Leah know where you are?"

Ruby didn't reply.

"You should call her to get you home."

"I won't until you decide to join me."

"I can't go home now. Did you forget what happened to Joey? You think I just go home and lay down?"

"I ab – solute – ely know what happened to Jo. How should I forget? But to save her you have to be well rested… Look at you, Charlz… please…"

"I can't… you know that…" She replied, going through the amount of papers, lying on her desk, again.

"Agent Conroy called me…" Ruby said almost whispering, knowing her sister would be angry.

"What has she done?? She hasn't the right to call you!"

"She has Charlie… She is just worried like every one of us… You won't be able to make it without a few hours sleep… You won't help Jo with damaging yourself…" Everything that Ruby said sounded so right – minded and all she really needed was a few hours sleep, but all she had to do was staying awake to find something than unimportant information's.

"And can't you realize I am not able to sleep with her being captured by a monster? Ruby… She is more than important to me… I don't want to live without her after knowing how life feels with her…"

Ruby didn't need to hear something else. It was easy for her to realize what was going on without Charlie explaining the situation to her. Very quickly Ruby realized what Joey meant for her. It was more than friendship and she knew what she would do if Xavier was captured by someone. She would completely, without a doubt, act like her sister and due to this fact she wouldn't complain anymore.

"I won't call Leah. And I won't leave. You will stay, okay so I will." She said out loud sitting down on the small couch standing in front of Charlie's desk, smiling. Charlie responded to her smile, nodding and knowing her sister was as obstinately as herself.

But after another hour she comprehended. To sleep was all she could do now her head was aching more badly.

She rested her head on her hands, promising herself she would only sleep a few minutes.


	19. To bring you my love

**Chapter 19 – To bring you my love**

Scenes like in a theatre play.

Dialogues. Smithereens. Connected moments.

""_It was a hot Friday down in a small village in the near of Sydney in summer '94, eleven years ago…"_

"_Don't – say – a – word."_

"_Don't you dare to say a word. I am watching you little sister and that's a promise. You tell one soul, I'll catch you and hit you so hard you will die. You saw what I did to dad. If you tell something what happened you will die too, it will just take a few days and hurt like hell. __Right?"_

"_Joey?" She was screaming now, turning on the light, seeing what she never wanted to see._

"_My Name is Agent Samantha Conroy and this is my partner Agent Jeffrey Spade."_

"_I know you are a cop. I have seen you at the madhouse. I know you two had sex. I have seen you at the beach. And you know what I know, too? I know you will try to follow me, but you won't find anything. __You want to save her, but you won't._

„_What is in the family will stay in the family, right?"_

"_He took 3 days with every victim. He kidnapped them in the first full moon night or stayed at their home."_

Together they become one, forming one single picture. Every memory formed itself together to one finished puzzle. The never-ending art, like she called it, was now a canvas right in front of her. She just had to take a look, reading the words. One letter after the other, the picture was stencilled by a few words printed down on her mind with red bolt and capital letters. It was one sentence:

"What is in the family will stay in the family."

She quickly opened her eyes realizing her dreams told her what she searched for the whole day. Finally she found the solution, just an idea, which might bring her to Joey. She took her mobile phone dialling Conroys number while she was going through the file again.

"Conroy…" The older woman answered her voice sounding tired.

"It's Charlie. Where are you?" A simple question.

"At our accommodation."

"At the bay?"

"Yes."

"Get ready. I'll be there in less then 15 minutes."

"Alright." A simple answer. That's what she appreciated about Agents. They never asked, they just do, without asking: Why? How or what's wrong?

They always know when something is too important to waste time with asking question, the answer they would know soon enough.

Before Charlie left she kissed Rubys forehead, her gun in her right hand.

(**AN**: This is our lovely PJ Harvey with one of her best songs… To bring you my love. Listen to it!)

**I was born in the desert. **

She felt like she was in the desert again. With her mouth and her lips dry, already sprung open, her body felt dried out for a while now.

No water, nothing to eat and her circulation collapsed slowly. She knew without any medical knowledge what the amount of blood she has lost meant for her and she already felt it.

It was ironic.

She was born in the desert, god, she had nothing, spending her whole life hoping she would survive without feeling love, without drinking, instead dying dried out. After eleven years spending in the madhouse, pretending, she hasn't to pretend anymore, but to be honest to someone was something she had to learn.

Something Charlie had teaches her and within one week she has left the desert completely, reaching the beautiful rainforest, feeling saved and secured. She has closed her eyes every night after eating and drinking the whole day, ever minute drifting way in the sea of love. She hadn't to be scared about drying.

But the hands of the desert were grabbing her arms, inexorable, not giving in this time until they captured her again and now completely, pulling her down into the depth.

And a sand storm was raging around her lifeless body, taking the place to breath; it was slowly overlapping her body. She already knew; this time she wouldn't be able to escape.

And she knew how it would end as she rembered how it was to be down there.

And she knew how being down there really felt.

And she smiled bitterly.

**I have been down for years**

Her flesh were burned with cigarettes, new wounds beneath her olds and defaced by his fists and feet.

Her head and her face were bleeding heavily and not only was her nose broken. But he hasn't just damaged her body; he was also able to break her soul into pieces.

Again she promised herself for 15 years now, since she was 7 years old, she won't give up and she won't give in. But to let him take her life and her soul away was so alluring and so easy.

The brown and soft sand was almost touching her dry lips and she realized, he had her. He really had her with her walls already broke down. The walls she built to protect herself, only offering Charlie a small door to come in, were erased.

Her hope was taken away.

How should a human, how should she, a poor girl from Rose Bay who sent herself into the madhouse, survive without hope?

All these years she had done everything to survive.

All these years she tried to forget what happened.

All these years she tried to forget the look on her fathers face when he looked death into the eyes.

Terrified? Mad? Scared? Sad?

Everything.

And all he said with his eyes was:

Sorry.

Sorry for everything.

Sorry for not being perfect.

Sorry for leaving you alone with him.

Sorry for not being able to protect you now and then.

Tears were streaming down her face.

How would she look like? How would it end? How would it feel? Would it hurt or wasn't she able to feel more pain? How would it be?

Too many question, but at most she was asking herself if Charlie would ever find her.

Lifeless or still alive, but a shadow of herself.

Even knowing Charlie just a week she just wanted to see her blue eyes again. It was all she wanted to do.

Yes, she could die. After what happened it would be a release. Maybe it was the only right thing to do.

But when she had to go the last thing she wanted to be with was Charlie.

**Jesus****, come closer**

Guilt. She had enough time to think about that.

She was guilty. Accessary to the death of the girls. She was guilty.

Because of her he was free, able to act like a monster killing innocent people. It was her fault her mother has left and her brother became the devil in person. It was her fault Charlie got a part of everything.

It was her fault. All her fault. Slowly she realized it was her; and a bright silhouette was coming nearer. Maybe it was an angel coming down to earth to get her? To made her leave this world? Or maybe it was god with his son judging her? Or maybe they were coming to save her broken soul? It was him, the evil, when Joey wished someone would free her from this pain, and when his feets were touching her body hard she realized how nice the darkness and the silence really were. The small light over her head scarred her and delighted her at the same time. And it wasn't Brett standing in the doorway. His face was soft and he was smiling kindly.

"Daddy…" She was whispering

**I think my time is near**

Her body felt weaker every single minute she was lying on the cold ground in nowhere and her body started shaking like she had the flu, and she was sweating and she already expectorate.

How should her body take this? When she coughed again she couldn't stop this time and her wounds were hurting, her eyes filled with silent tears. She wanted to give up, she really wanted to give up and she cried out in desperation and pain even she knew no one would hear her. She wanted, but she couldn't as long as her heart and her soul were still connected to Charlie's, but she was scared what the future would bring.

Why thinking of the future? Why hoping? Why living with anticipation?

Nothing would happen. She was sure she would die here and not in Charlie's arms. And if she would survive, would everything be the same again, her kiss and her touch, her tenderness and their affection? Would Charlie act the same around her or would her actions be full of mercy?

Would Charlie look at her like she did the whole time?

Joey smiled.

Charlie had gave her back all her hopes, all her dreams, all her desires and all her wanting. All what a human needs and more.

Her heart felt hard and unnatural in her chest, pounding uncontrollable and screaming for freedom.

He should have killed her many years ago, before she was able to know how it felt to be free. She wished she had never experienced love, such a sweet, passionate and pure love, which made her weep even more. But she loved Charlie even more for that, for letting her know how it was to live, how it was to live in the paradise.

**And I've travelled over**

**Dry earth and floods**

"Where are we going?" Spade asked confused while Charlie was driving concentrated; her aim right in front of her eyes.

"Rose Bay." She answered concisely, thinking about how she should explain everything.

"You remember what you told me about Brett? '_He kidnapped them in the first full moon night or stayed at their home.' _I think this is a very important point and I think he tried to have a stronger connection to each victim with killing them at their home like he killed his father once. We all think our home is the safest place, but it's not and this realization is striking us very hard. Now it's his sister and what could be better than killing her, his final act, in their old house were they lived with their parents and he also killed his father? I called a real estate broker right before I was coming to get you and asked her if someone's living their. And surprise, she told me no one wanted the house after what happened. It's abandoned."

"Due to that fact you think she could be there?" Conroy asked her, realizing this cop could be their way to the monster she searched for many years.

"I feel it. She has to be there… We have only this day… we have to find her…" Charlie answered while she was driving and her hands were sweating. Would this be the right direction or would it be her fault if they waste time now? Would she be able to save Joey? Her heart was pounding against her chest and it was hard for her to swallow. It was her. It was her decision and it would be her fault.

**H****ell and high water**

When she opened her eyes again, blinking, she felt her whole body going up and down while she was completely lying in the ground. It was heavy for her to breath and even when she enjoyed the darkness, which meant safety, she was scared of this place. She was scared to not know where she was, but deep inside she already knew. She knew the feeling of the water hitting the rail making the ship jump up and down, she knew the smell and the taste of the sea. She knew it so well and she wished it wouldn't be here: her grave. She wished she could keep this beautiful and last memory, of her and Charlie first kissing in the water, in her mind instead of thinking of her soon coming death. Why her brother always had to take away her good memories and reveal her her bad fortune? Good fortune. She hoped for a good fortune.

**To bring you my love**

She remembered exactly the first time she met Joey and how easy it was to be obsessed by the younger girl. So fast she has found a place in her mind and in her fast. So fast she left her alone again. All Charlie really wanted to do was giving in and cry, instead of still going on. Too much happened the last few days and she was too scared of loosing Joey now. They had so much to experience, they had to experience their new found and slowly growing love. Would someone be ever able to make her feel like Joey was able to make her feel? Sometimes Charlie felt like the younger one, so inexperienced. And when she was driving her finger clasping the steering wheel she remembered everything and her memories were flashing through her mind.

_Her head was lying __on her stomach and her hands were stroking over her chocolate brown hair. They had kissed the first time and they had loved each other, enjoyed each other body as long as possible and Charlie realized how quickly and deeply she was falling for the younger girl. Especially when she was feeling their naked skin pressed together. _

"_Joey?" Charlie finally managed to say__, her eyes still closed and licking her lips which were swollen by their kissing. _

"_Yes?" Joey sounds so sure of herself, so confidence and strong when she answered, still stroking Charlie's hair, wandering down her back. _

_The older woman who was used to be the hard cop, who erased her feelings and letting no one ever come too near to break her walls down, was scarred. She was scared of being honest with the younger girl. She was scared of her reaction. _

"_I want you to teach me…" She finally said, blushing the same moment she told Joey what she really wanted, what she needed her to do._

_Joey didn't reply. She was just waiting for more. _

"_I want you to teach me to love. I need you to stay with me. I want you to show me what life really is…"_

_When these words left Charlie's mouth Joey was smiling sharply, searching for her mouth. Instead of stroking her hair, she used her hands for searching the way to Charlie's face, now stroking the place right under her lips, touching them so softly and full of tenderness. She was pulling herself down until she was lying in the sand right in front of Charlie, smiling. _

"_Isn't it funny? You taught me, you showed me how it is to love, and you showed me how it is to live. You are my life now and now you ask me to teach you…" She whispered into Charlie's ears, nibbling it before kissing down Charlie's cheek. When Joey reached Charlie's breast with her lips kissing her skin so soft Charlie couldn't help herself but gasp out loud in attraction. _

"_You want me to teach you?" Joey whispered underneath her soft kisses and while licking over Charlie's hardened nipples. _

"_Every time I kiss you; _

_Every time I am allowed to touch you, to explorer you it feels like you are teaching me." With her mouth she wandered down her body, she was kissing her belly, feeling Charlie trembling in anticipation._

_Another moment Charlie realized Joey was the best thing that could happen to her, and she would never give up this again._

Her memories made her want to scream out loud in desperation. Brett had hurt HER Joey not only once and she was scarred what this would mean exactly. Joey was broken; could she fix her soul again? Would her kisses, her love and her tenderness be enough? She doesn't know and it was uncertainty that tortured her, but she knew one thing. She would bring Joey her love. She would save her and bring her back home.

**Climbed over a mountains**

**Travelled the seas**

It was a beautiful old house in the middle of a sweet village near the beach. A white house with white window seats and a white veranda reminding of the typical American house style. Everything seemed to be perfect. Everything was silent, only the birds singing and the sun was shining down, greeting the strangers friendly. A beautiful Sunday afternoon like each week. But their guns and their bodies stooped destroyed this pretty picture. Charlie's hands were sweating and her body was shaking, her heart racing and she was scarred she wouldn't be able to move herself. She was scared her fear would make her unable to think clear. But like every time she ignored her fear, this time more then ever. She had discussed with Conroy and Spade what to do and they decided Charlie should use the back door whit Conroy while Spade was rushing through the front door to deflectable Brett.

Both women were standing there, thinking about chasing him, differently, but the same thought roaming in their heads: Getting this sick bastard behind safe walls. When they heard the front door opening by Spades feet and his loud callings, they know what to do. As soon as Charlie rushed in the house, her body colliding with the door and her shoulder hurting, she felt her heart almost bursting out.

Conroy and she were standing in the kitchen, looking around, trying to find any sign of Brett and Joey being there. But they couldn't find anything suspicious. Walking through the house, reaching the living room Charlie stopped a second, looking around. A big ugly and dark red already dried bloodstain on the ground. _Joey… _Charlie thought to herself seeing a ghost walking by, crying, screaming, and then hiding behind the favourite armchair where her father used to sit. Her eyes full of horror, her dark brown hair falling into her face and blue tears stroking her face, drawing a wet line behind on her tanned skin.

Suddenly she was hearing a male voice calling for her. She didn't wait, she just ran after his voice until she reached him and Conroy who were standing in front of an old wooden door leading to another place. She didn't know what was going on, until she recognized the blood in front of it and it wasn't the blood of old ghosts from eleven years ago.

**Cast down of heaven**

**Cast down on my knees**

Walking down the creaking steps to reach another door she was shivering and her hand felt cold like never before. All her fears rushed down on her within a minute when she reached the door knob, looking back to see what she should do, pulling it down after both of them were nodding simultaneously. But when she opened it and her eyes were getting used to the dark light she saw the red colour spread out in the whole room.

She lost her balance her eyes were turning black when she cast down on her knees.

**I've laid with the devil  
cursed god above**

She has lost her time - oriented long ago. Her clock was ticking until dead was pounding on the door and she already waited for him to come. Too long she has spent her time with the devil. It was her constant companion since her birth. Too many times she has lain down, bearing all the pain she was going through because of him and she hated god for that. She hated him for not protecting her father, she hated him for letting her brother become a monster, she hated him for letting her go through this and she prayed. She pleaded for her rescue. She cried out in pain and desperation, in hope and in belief for God to send her Charlie.

**Forsaken heaven  
**

Her eyes were wet and her face was too. She has failed. She has failed in so many ways and so many times. But this time it was the most terrible failure in her life. Resting down on her knees she cried her heart out, knowing she wouldn't find Joey soon enough. It was already afternoon. How should she be able to find her so quickly when she needed almost 2 days to come to this solution?

"Charlie…" It was Conroy's voice getting her back into reality, away from all her self blaming.

"It's my fault…" It was only a whisper, but strong enough to reach Conroy's ears.

"Charlie…"

"We could have been here earlier. I could have come earlier to this solution… It's my fault she's dying. It's my fault she is never coming back and it's my fault he was able to get her… It was all my…" A hard slap in the face was interrupting her.

"God damn, Charlie. Blaming yourself never helps. We were working 11 years on this case and we never came so close to him than we did today. WE are so near and we won't loose her now. We will find the Water killer and your girlfriend."

Her mind was racing.

_Water Killer…_

_Water…_

_Water…!!!_

"_She loved Fridays. Because on Friday morning she knew she has a whole weekend in front of her and that meant she would be able to work on the trawler with her dad and his best friend old Harry. As well she would be able to spend her time at the place she loves the most: on the sea._

_She would be able to smell all the different kind of smells the ocean and the boat offered. But most important she would see the water and feel it right under her feet."_

"_Not specified in poor or rich. Their only connection was their looking and their connection to the water: One was a swimmer, one lived near the sea, the other one loved to surf or was interested in wild water rafting._

_Because of that we also named him the Water-killer."_

"The Water… The water…" She mumbled…

"What do you mean?" Charlie didn't answer. Instead she was standing up and rushing out of the door. "The water… where's the beach? We need to get to the beach…NOW!"

**To bring you my love**

Charlie was watching Spade driving to the beach where all the boats were, looking down on her watch. _6. p.m_. the black numbers said.

Only a few hours until she wouldn't see Joey alive ever again. _Only a few hours… _she told herself over and over again. The only thing that calmed her down was Conroy's hand on her shoulder and her shy smile saying nothing else than "We'll find her."

**To bring you my life**

When they arrived at the sea side, the ocean right in front of them an old man was suddenly running to them, calling out words of anger.

"What took you so long, damn! Is it so difficult to come here or am I just a poor old man asking for help? Damn police!"

"Excuse me mister. What are you saying?" Spade asked confused while Charlie looked around hysterically. She hasn't got the time for playing games.

"I called the police because someone stole one of my boats!!!" He cried out in anger looking at Charlie intentionally.

"I am sorry we are not the one you were…"

"Wait… what happened?" Charlie was interrupting Spade as she heard what the old man was saying.

"This morning I came here like everyday to check out if everything's alright. And then I realized one of my boats was stolen!!"

Charlie was looking at Conroy and Spade thinking the same.

"Could we have one of your boats, please?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"I guess we have to take one of your boats…"

"No way! I called the police to get my other boat back not to take another one away...!!!"

"Well then…" Spade said, almost grinning. "We have to arrest you for not helping the FBI. Another chance would be helping us and give us a boat. WE would be very grateful." And with that he meant there wasn't any other solution.

**To bring you my love**

**In the sound**

**In the sea**

**In the night**

**From the sound**

**In the sea**

It was easy for them to get him lend them his boat and even steering it over the ocean after telling him his rights. But it wasn't easy for Charlie to concentrate. It was only a thought Brett could have been the thieve. Maybe it was just by accident and they were searching at the wrong place. But it was their only chance to do something. Charlie was standing at the railing looking out for another ship, but she wasn't recognizing anything. Time was drifting away so fast and the sun was settling down so fast. When she already gave, feeling a single tear escaping her eyes she suddenly heard a strong male voice calling out her name.

"S.C. Buckton!" It was Spade, standing at the fisherman's side.

"Look." He said when Charlie was standing right beneath him, pointing to a small black spot far away down on the sea.

The haft of her arm was slowly cutting into her flesh.

**I know he's gonna be here  
He know he's gonna be here  
Yeah alright**

The door was opening again and this time she knew it would be the last time he was coming in. It was the last time the light would hurt her eyes and it would be the last time she would hear his voice. But she smiled at this thought. He was right. Soon she has wished to be death, but she wouldn't die of her old, hurting wounds. She would die because of another painful bullet entering her body, but this time pestilent and she told herself she was ready to leave this world. She told herself she was ready, clenching her fists so that her nails cutting bloody lines in her own hand, telling her self she wouldn't cry. But as nearer he was coming the more she was starting to cry, until she felt tears touching her face.

**For sake in heaven**

**Cursed god above**

**Laid wit the devil**

When Charlie entered the small boat with Conroy and Spade she knew she was right. It was so damn silent and it as like it was a ghost ship travelling over the sea. She could only be at the right place and she only had this chance to get Joey finally back. She thought of all conclusions how this day could end and all she saw was the red colour in front of her eyes and she wished it was his blood.

**To ****bring you my love**

Like in the house they were separating, spreading out to find anything. Charlie was going right way down while Conroy was heading left and Spade was going below. The blood was rushing fast through her veins and she could only hear her fast and irregular breath dinning in her ears while she searched for Joey. She wanted to scream out her name, running through the whole boat searching her, but she knew it wouldn't be wholesome.

A shot.

A loud shot filling the air, making her heart jump up and down heavily and made her throw up.

**To bring you my love**

Panic. Pure and strong panic filled her mind and her senses when she ran to the place where the shot was coming from. And all she saw when she finally reached the location where the noises came from she recognized Conroy lying on the ground, her shoulder bleeding and her face looking terrified. Even Charlie wanted to help the poor woman lying broken and hurt on the ground all her senses were on Brett as she saw him standing right in front of her in a small cabin and she had her. Her Joey right in front of his body for his protection. Charlie's whole body was trembling when she realized the love of her life looked as pale as the death itself. "Joey…" She was whispering and the cold and dark fear was crawling up her back, capturing her whole body and made her hands shake while she targeting at Brett.

**To bring you my love**

"Oh, S.C. Buckton. I never thought I would see you again. I guess my warning wasn't understandable enough?" A cold shiver ran down her back. His voice made her quiver. If he wasn't deaths companion, who else could it be then?

"Let her go." Her voice was stronger and clearer as she thought it would be.

"Why should I?"

"Because I am a police office and I will arrest you. You can make it easier for both of us or we will go the hard way. You choose."

"I prefer the hard way to be honest. I am good at that." He was grinning while Charlie searched for Joeys eyes. She seemed so fragile and weak, Brett had to use his full strength to pull her up and in front of himself. It seemed like she was already dead and Charlie has almost believed it hasn't she seen her breathing. Even she was breathing slow and abnormal.

"You know what? I think Joey and you… you are very similar. You really don't know when it's best to stop and to do what I asked you to do. It always has been a simple favour. But you always decided wrong. I guess that's something you really have in common. And both of you have to pay." His gun still targeting Charlie's head and Joey still in his arms she doesn't know what to do. She could be the one who killed the love or the hate, an angel or the evil itself.

And suddenly the beautiful angel was raising her head, looking straight into Charlie's eyes and she could see all the sorrow and the pain and one request. One similar thought.

_Do it._

"What are you going to do next, Buckton? I can hear your eyes, they are speaking to me and I can see your thoughts right in front of me. Shot and risk your lovers death?" He laughed out loud in anticipation. No, he wouldn't loose anything and suddenly another loud shot was filling the air and it was intermingling with the gull's vociferation.

**To bring you ****my**** love**

When Charlie opened her eyes again she saw both of them falling to the ground, but it was only his blood which ornamented the ground, being a part of Joey's old dark painting. Charlie didn't wait to run to her side, pulling the hurt girl in her embrace, comforting her and crying, sobbing wildly. "Joey… you are save now. I am here… I will never let you go again. Everything will be fine… We will get you home. I am here… you just need to stay with me. Joey… please don't leave me… Stay with me!! Stay with me. Joey…" Words full of love and comfort, and Joey found her dream coming true. While the light was getting brighter behind Charlie's head she was able to see her wonderful eyes again. She wished she could say anything, but her throat hurt too much and she was too weak to say something. Instead she raised her hand a last time, touching Charlie's trembling lips and right before she closed her eyes she smiled. She shared a smile with her love.

**AN:** Sorry it took me so long. I really hated it to need so long for this Chapter, but with school it's damn difficult to keep me writing, but I never stop. It'll just take time. I really hope you are not stopping to read my story because of this.

After this chapter I thought about how to go on and I have lot ideas, but I will first continue if you want me to. You already know this don't you ;-)

I want you to stop, because ……… (your reason).

I want my happy end… NOW!

Continue, please, no matter how it's going on! I'd love to read on!

Just a simple question and now your turn to answer ;)

And where are my old readers? Are you still there? I'd love to know if this story is boring or bad written. I really need to know that, so please tell me if that's right…

Looking forward to hear from you soon and I really hope you like the Chapter and the music.

-Sun


	20. Chapter 20

**AN**: Thank you so much for everything and at most for waiting. Time is short and I don't have time at all, always running after my time if ya know what I mean ;-)… But I won't stop writing. Never. Hope you like this Chapter.

-Sun

……………………………………………………………………………………**.**

**Chapter 20**

**Beep. Beep. Beep.**

„_Help! HELP! For God's sake, I need help! Please, call someone, HURRY! DAMN!" Tears were leaving her eyes while she screamed her lungs out. She held Joey so close, without hurting her, but Joey was already unconsciousness. Her eyes were closed and her__ skin looked so pale. Even paler than she did at the madhouse. She looked like her soul has already left her body, but she was still breathing and Charlie still hoped, her hands rushing down the younger girl's body, trying to stop the blood floating. Where did it come from? Everywhere. Blood. Everywhere. Charlie looked down Joey's body terrified; her skin was full of wounds and effusions of blood. _

"_Why… Why her? Oh god… that can't be true…" She seesawed with Joey in her arms, her tears touching Jo's beautiful skin. Too scared of losing the one she loved, it felt like an eternity until she hears something, someone, people rushing to Joeys side. Too scared of losing the one she loved, she felt like Joey has already lost the game._

**Beep. Beep. Beep.**

"_1. 2. 3. __4 " the metal collected with her body and her upper part of the body raised suddenly, until it rushed down on the ground again . _

_Her heart wasn't pounding while Charlie felt she would die because her heart was racing so heavily, she wanted to give Joey a part of her health heart. Without a second she would give her heart away, just to spend one single minute with Joey, just to see her smile, just to feel her lips on hers again. Just to hold her close, just to hear her voice. _

"_Please… Please…" She said again and again, until her mouth went dry, but her voice intermingled with their voices saying__:_

"_1. 2. 3. 4. NOW!" Once again. _

_But her soul wasn't willed to come back._

"_Don' leave me. Don't leave me. Don't you DARE to leave me." Her scream filled the air right when the metal collected with Joey's body once again._

**Beep. Beep. Beep**

"_We need to get these two to the hospital." A man __explained when they finally reached the beach, ready to drive to the next hospital. Charlie ran right behind them, trying to reach Joey, but it felt like her feet weren't able to carry her when she felt so weak, her heart still hurting, bearing the thought she has almost loose the younger girl a few minutes ago._

"_I need to go with you."_

"_Are you a family member?"_

"_Ye… I mean no…"_

"_So I'm sorry. But we can't let you in. Take your car. You can meet them there again. We don't have time for that now."_

_Charlie knew she wouldn't do such a thing under normal circumstances and she knew she could loose her job, but that doesn't matter to her. Nothing stayed normal and she would never leave Joey's side again. _

"_I am a police officer. Take me with you or go to jail. Your decision." The men looked at her terrified, but she didn't take a word back she said. No, she couldn't bare the thought of leaving her now._

"_Come in…" He just replied and she nodded thankfully. _

_While they drove to the hospital, Charlie hold her hand, crying and kissing her pale skin a hundred times._

**Beep. Beep. Beep.**

She opened her eyes furiously looking around in the white room. As much as she hated the green colour of the walls back then she couldn't tell anyone how much she hated this pressing white walls, giving her love safety and also made her want to run away. But she stayed, erect in the uncomfortable chair just to take the brunettes hand in hers. These days have been terrible and they stayed like that. It was better to have her. To have her finally back made her cry, cry because she was released from her pain, cry because she was able to breath normally again and cry because Joey wasn't opening her eyes. And to know what he has done to Joey made it hard for her to be happy.

Made it hard for her not to cry.

Eased and Joyful, Scarred and Depressed, at the same time. Holding her hand and feeling her close felt so good.

But it wasn't the same, not knowing how it will end.

"_Doctor! Doctor!!! Please wait!" She rose up from her seat in the middle of the corridor, trying to catch the woman in white. _

"_How is she?" A simple question with a deeper meaning. An answer which could save or destroy her life._

"_She has been hurt very bad. Rips are broken, she has a great wound on her back head, her arms are burnt, we guess with cigarettes, and her body is full of bruises. We haven't found any internal bleeding which is a surprise, but very good. A problem is that she has lost a great amount of blood."_

_Hearing all these kind of things Charlie felt her anger rising. She thought killing this sick bastard would release her from her hate, but she knew it wasn't enough. Nothing would be enough. Hell, she thought to herself. She wished he would burn in hell._

"_But she is alive?"_

"_Yes, she is. But hardly. She lays in a coma and we can't even say if she's making it through the night…"_

_Again she wanted to cry, she wanted to throw her fits against the hard stone wall, she wanted to feel pain, to show everyone how it looked inside of her, how she felt. But instead she just simply asked._

"_Can I stay with her?"_

"_I'm very sorry, but…"_

"_Please…" She was too tired to speak out any further warnings. All she wanted to do was sleeping, holding Joey's hand through the night, wishing and praying she would make it._

"_You know…"_

"_I am her girlfriend… I am the only family she has…" Charlie said, looking into the doctors eyes, her eyes full of honest. _

"_Go in…" _

"_Thank you…" _

_Charlie didn't wait another second. Instead she opened the door, slowly, scared what she would see. _

_Her heart stopped beating when she saw the small figure lying in the bed, her body connected with all these tubes coming out of her body and the machine reacting to Joey's heart._

_When Charlie finally reached the bed she took her hand, stroking her soft skin and speaking words of hope._

"_You need to stay with me, Joey. You hear me? You can't leave me now… because I can't… I can't…" She wasn't even able to finish her sentences without bursting out into tears. Her lips slowly touched Joey's, before she kissed her face. But Joey wasn't reacting. _

_She wasn't reacting to her touch._

[**AN**: Just a short part with Charlie in first-person-narrator. I really loved to write in her point of view so I thought I could do it now again]

When I opened my eyes again I saw her still sleeping. She looked so peaceful and still beautiful even her face was full of red wounds. I leant over her, again, and touched her lips soft with mine. Just a few seconds, because I was scared to hurt her somehow. But all I wanted to do was letting her know I was there, still loving her, now, then and forever. I wanted her to know that I would still hold her at night, through the night, crying, like I did once. No, nothing has changed for me.

Looking at the ugly watch on the wall I realised that this was the third night full moon was shining, and it set shadows on the ground of this room.

And I smiled.

She was save.

She was here, with me, and she would wake up.

She would open her eyes again.

She had to.

I decided to leave a few minutes to call Ruby and Leah to tell them we would have her back. Finally. But right before I was leaving the hospital I spotted a small door, leading to a big room.

I never used to enter this sort of rooms for almost 15 years now. I stopped doing it after my Mother died.

I stopped doing this when I saw the first corpse almost 6 years ago.

I told myself, and I was very sure of myself, that there couldn't be a god allowing all this. No one almighty could be so bad to let all this happen. I never entered a church to pray and it didn't make me feel save. But now it felt so right to go down on my knees, clasping my hands, and I prayed. I prayed after 15 years not believing in God. I prayed and I thought of Joey, asking him to let her live. I would give everything away. Everything.

And then I rose up from my knees again, lighting a candle, set fire to Joeys heart with this simple light. And this small candle was brighten the hole room with 100 other candles. And I realize I never felt so close to other people than I did now, knowing they went through the same I do now. Hoping. Wishing. Praying.

And waiting.

I felt like screaming out how happy I was when I saw the doctor around her when I entered the small room again. But it wasn't something bad happening. No, she was sitting, her eyes open, silent, while the doctor was checking everything. I almost ran to the bed, taking her free hand in mine, smiling, tears of joy welling up in my eyes. "God... Joey… thank god…" I'd love to touch her or kiss her now she is awake, but instead I am just watching her, while she is looking straight at the white wall. Wouldn't I know that she is awake I would guess she is still sleeping, not even blinking.

"Congratulation Ms. Collins. I'm glad you're awake. Your injuries will take some time to heal completely, but there's nothing serious. We will keep you here a few days to control everything and we will give you pain killer to get you through your pain. I'll check you later again." The female doctor said and with that she left the room. Left me with Joey. First I was delight of being alone with her, telling her what I am feeling and that we will be able to get through this together, but then I wished time would move backward and would Change everything that happened. I wish I could go back to the day I met her, knowing what would happen, being able to change the future.

In the next days and weeks it was something I always wished for.

"Joey…" I said when she sat there, in silence, still looking at the wall, not looking at me as I touched her cheek with my hand. And suddenly she was raising her hand, I wished she would touch my face too, my lips, like she did on the boat when I thought she would close her eyes forever.

But instead she was raising her hand to play piano.

She played piano and hummed a silent "Moonlight Sonata".

And still, she wasn't looking at me.

And still, she wasn't showing an interest in me.

And still, she was playing piano.

"No… Joey… no… Please, don't… don't"

Tears were running down my cheek.

Horror – stricken.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

I couldn't believe what she was really doing. I couldn't believe she was able to pretend things this time, because this time it was different.

He was gone and I was here instead. I know she hadn't forgotten me. I could see it hidden in her eyes while she was trying to ignore me, I could see it in her eyes when tears were streaming down her face telling me the truth. I was mirrored in her wet and dark eyes, telling me what to do.

I reached for her face with both my hands and I kissed her tears away with my lips.

I told her not to play the same game again.

I told her to be strong, with me, for me.

And I told her I would be there.

I pleaded and I cried. If somebody would see me I know they would think I'm crazy.

But I really am crazy. I am crazy for her.

If my colleagues would see me they would know I've lost my dignity.

Yes, I've already lost it but I don't mind.

I would leave my life to assure her survival.

"Please… Jo… don't do that… talk to me… you need to talk to me. Don't you dare to do that. Don't you dare to do that to me." I was almost screaming these words into her face as I really forced her to look at me. Through her glassy eyes she tried not to look into my eyes. And I cried even harder. I touched her, and pressed her face even more with my small fingers. I forced her to look at me with my lips pressed hard on hers.

We spent a few minutes in this position, my lips searching for a permission to be with her, to love her. It was just a symbolic move that made me doing this. And finally she kissed me back, a short kiss with only our lips pressed on each other, but full of meaning.

But even I knew she was back I cried silent tears while she was screaming. Screaming's full of pain.

"I am scared." Was all she said with her voice low, breaking my heart. I kissed her forehead, before I laid down beside her, pulling her into my embrace.

"You don't need to be scared. Joey, he is gone and I will stay with you. Forever. We will get everything behind us. We will start a new life."

I whispered into her ears, while she shivered and cried.

"No one will hurt you again, this is what I promise."

I said words of hope, and I kissed her tears away, I thought she was still scared of her brother and now, knowing what would happen, I wish I would have listened to her.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

When I was a little girl my mother was coming into my room every evening before I went to sleep. Every time she sat down on the edge of my bed, kissing my forehead and telling me "Good night" I asked her every single day to tell me a good – night – story, because I got addicted to them once she started doing this after I didn't go to bed. It was her way to make me sleep. Each story were about the princess and her prince, about white horses and black wolves, about fairies, nymphs and gremlins. But on one night my mother decided to take me to a different place…

"_Good night, honey. Sleep well and dream something beautiful!" The older woman said, grinning as the little girl furrowed her brow in anger and disappointment._

"_Mo – mmy!" She said out loud in a judging voice which made her mother grin even more._

"_Yes darling?"_

"_Mo - mmy! You forgot my good – night – story!"_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Mom, don't think I'm that stupid! I'm 5 years old! Tell me my story!" she insisted. _

It's crazy I really remember every single detail of this night. I was so young, and there have been so many of these evenings with my mom, telling me exciting and beautiful stories. But this time it was pretty different. It was a story I kept in mind for many years and I never forget about it. Never.

"_Okay, sweetheart… You need to listen to me, okay? Because this is not a normal story, you understand?" She nodded, her blanket grumbled in her small fingers._

"_Once upon a time there were a lot of people on this planet like today. But they were different! Once they had two head, four legs and four arms. Like that, they lived together…"_

"_Did they play like I do with Michael and Jordan?"_

"_Yes, they did. But you know they weren't only playing. Some of them did awful things and they made one of the gods very very angry."_

"_What have they done, Mommy?" _

"_They were very awful to their amazing parents!"_

"_Mo- mmy! Don't lie to me!" She said seriously as she recognized the smile on her mother's face who tickled her then before continuing her story._

"_Well, to be honest I don't know. But they were not following the rules and that made the gods very very mad."_

"_What happened then?"_

"_They send thunderbolts down to earth and they made the worst thing a god could do."_

"_What Mommy? What have they done?"_

"_They separated the people. They sent thunderbolts down to earth to separate them from each other. From now on they had only one head, two legs and two arms."_

"_But mo-mmy, they look like we are looking! Why should that be something terrible?"_

"_That's a good question, sweetheart. You know, not only their bodies were separated in two, their souls were too. Because of that one single person wasn't completely anymore. From now on they spent their whole life searching for their second part – for their soul mates."_

"_And have they found each other?" The little girl asked while her mother continued stroking her long brown hair._

"_I don't know, Charlie. But they were trying and they are still trying to complete their soul and their life."_

"_Mo-mmy… Is that love?" She laughed when she heard her 5 years old daughter asking something like this. She was a small girl, but sometimes she felt like her daughter had a feeling for important things, like she knew even more. _

"_Yes, sweetheart. That's love. Someday you will find the love of your life, you will know it, and you will feel it. You will know it when you found your second part, and then don't let her go."_

Like my mother told me once, I realize now she was right.

It has been 4 days now.

4 days of snapping, empty glances, silence, scariness, horror and tears.

4 days of holding and comforting her, of staying at her side and holding her hand.

4 days of not really sleeping, waking up at night, reaching out for her when she was screaming.

Just 4 days which felt like ages we went through the desert. But we went through this together and even I know it was like hell; even I realized it would stay like this a long time from now on until her inner wounds would be healing completely, I knew I would never leave her side.

Only 1 week was left and we could leave this place to rehab at another place.

I realized she is my second part.

I realized she is the rest of my soul.

I realized I want her to be mine and I realized it by holding her, stroking her face and her hair, by kissing her lips and telling words of tenderness, hoping and believing.

"We will get through this, Joey. I am here and I ever will be. I ever will be." I told her every night while she was sobbing into my embrace.

**AN**: I know… I know… it is just a short chapter. But it's just a Chapter before a long and nerve racking one is following.

Thanks to my reviewers, you are keeping me going on.

-Sun


	22. So real Part 1

**AN**: Thanks to all of you, still reading and replying my story! It's so good to know some people like my story! I thought about parting this chapter, because it's very long and my head is almost exploding because I'm sick. But I promise I'll try to continue as soon as possible! Thanks to everyone!!

The song is "So real" from Jeff Buckley.

………………………………………………………………………………….

Weeks have passed by until Joey was able to be brought back to Summer bay her wounds still healing; her inner wounds still open and hurting.

Weeks in which Charlie had to take care of the younger girl, but this time it was worse than before. This time her nightmares and her fears had actually taken a place in her life and made her to a fragile shadow of herself. But actually they could leave this place and hope was rising in Charlie that Joey might feel safer in the house they spent some time together, where she first fallen in love with her.

Far away from this institution.

**  
****Love, let me sleep tonight  
On your couch…  
And remember the smell**

"Charlie! Joey!" Ruby blurts out when she recognized both of them in the doorway. Charlie in her uniform and Joey in some simple dark clothes that made her look even paler. As she ran to both of them, to great them with a simple hug, to show them how happy she was to have them back, she could feel Joey shivering and trembling under her touch.

"Hey Rubes." Charlie replied, carrying over Joey, who couldn't say a word. Charlie was used to that, after spending almost 2 weeks in silence. With one glance at Ruby she explained everything and she apologised to her younger sister.

"We are really tired… I think we should go to bed." She observed while she was leading Joey into her bedroom.

As soon as Joey entered Charlie's room, the older woman recognized that everything has changed. She wasn't looking around, mentioning how beautiful the room was like she did once. Instead she was standing there like a figure. Still, but internal shaking. Charlie didn't know what she should do; she has lost all of her confidence or her braveness.

She just stood there, behind Joey, close, without touching her. She didn't know why she was doing this, she was just waiting. Waiting for something to happen. But nothing happened at all, until Joey suddenly moved, sitting down on the bed, trying to pull her shirt over her head. But she hadn't the strength to do it.

Charlie was rushing to her side, looking straight into her eyes to get the permission to do it. Using her hands to pull the black fabric over her head, she suddenly touched Joey's soft skin, feeling her own desire burning inside, almost overtaking her body. But at the same time she was now able to see all the wounds on her stomach. All the scars Joey tried to hide from the older woman, now not able to. Even the hard cop had seen a lot of this, even she tried to be hard now, for both of them, she felt tears escaping her eyes and the room were filled with uncontrollable sobs. She has lost the game and now it was Joey, moving forward, pulling Charlie into her embrace, guiding her into bed.

"I am… I am so sorry, Joey… I am sorry I couldn't protect you. I swear I would do everything to…" It was Joey who interrupted her by speaking out loud with her voice sore and scratchy.

"Just hold me…" She closed her eyes when she felt Charlie's arms around her torso and her head lying on her shoulder; tears escaping her eyes. But she told herself to be strong, even her fear was almost overtaking her body and her soul.

Blood.

Tears.

Pain.

Strong hands around her throat.

Her whole body jolted awake while she was still sleeping anyway, but not able to breath and not able to open her eyes.

It felt like his dead fingers were still encompassing her throat.

_He is still there._

She wasn't able to speak, she wasn't able to scream and she wasn't able to breath.

_He is still there._

Her whole body shivered and tears were streaming down her face.

_He is still there._

Suddenly words escaped her mouth while she tried to gasp for air. But her fear was overtaking her body and her mind. She didn't know where she was and who made her struggle like this.

Suddenly she felt arms around her body, and voices.

"Joey… it's only a nightmare… breathe… come on, you need to breath!"

"God Charlie! What's going on her?"

"Bring me some water! NOW!"

Too many voices she barely recognized, but she still knew.

"Joey, come on. I am here. It's me. Charlie. Sweetheart."

She felt her fear floating away as soon and as suddenly as it has appeared. Still breathing heavily, but able to breath, she tried to bring herself down, but it was Charlie who let her remember where exactly she was. The older woman put her arms around her, deep concern and fear etched on her face as she looked into Joeys eyes, still full of tears.

Finally she recognized Charlie, touching her face with her trembling fingers, still crying. Charlie instantly reacted and pulled the younger girl into her embrace. But Joey still felt the shadow crawling up her back.

She could still feel the dark unknown watching her.

**And the fabric  
Of your simple city dress…**

On the next morning it was Charlie who stood up in the early hours, going into the kitchen making coffee for everyone and when she finally took a sip from her mug tears were escaping her own eyes after she almost drown in Joey's.

She couldn't take back her own fears anymore, because it felt like Joey has lost herself. Her brother wasn't able to end his act finally. But his plan has succeeded. He has captured her and now it was on Charlie to save her soul.

"Charlie? What are you doing here?" She jolted from her chair, scared Joey was the one who found her in the kitchen, crying. But then she found Ruby standing there her eyes full of concern.

"I… I couldn't sleep…" She replied honestly.

"Is Joey okay?"

Charlie wished she could say 'Yes', but instead she cried, reaching out for Ruby to hold her.

"Nothing is okay… She is a mess, I am a mess, and we are a mess… I just… I just don't know how I should go on. She is so closed up. I don't know what I could do… Ruby, I have to…"

"It's alright, Charlz."

"No it isn't… it never will be…" sobs were filling the room, but she hoped she wouldn't wake up Joey- She wished Joey wouldn't be able to feel her fears, because she had to be strong.

"You love her, Charlie, don't you?" The question came as unexpected as showing herself so weak in front of her younger sister.

"What?"

"You are in love with her." Charlie was surprised how low her voice was and how understanding she sounded.

"Yes… I do love her…" Her answer came like a shot while tears were gracing her face and her body was shaking.

The answer was enough for Ruby to know that this was more important like she first thought it would be.

**  
Oh... That was so real  
**

2 Weeks has passed by, but nothing has changed. They spent nights in each other arms, but it felt like they spent their life's world apart. Both of them cried at night and both felt like drifting away, trying to hang on each other.


End file.
